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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have wanted to slap this "Mum"?

117 replies

HassledAndHarrassedMummy · 30/01/2012 13:27

Just been to pick my daughter up from playschool and two of the other Mums were talking about toys thier kids play with......
The long and short of it was that one of the mums was talking about how her son wanted a dora doll and that her and her husband thought it wasn't "normal" for him to want a doll and he should be playing with cars and other "manly stuff". Blah blah blah. She just kept saying that it wasn't normal.
AIBU to be completely aggrieved by what this woman was saying??? My DS got a cooker for his 2nd b'day as this is what he wanted and more recently my DD got a Thundercats sword for Xmas as she was absolutely deperate for it. Are my children not going to be normal because of this??? Have I ruined there lives by not buying them the correct toys?
I didn't say anything. I just rolled my eyes, but since I got home I have been quietly seething about this woman?
I'm not BU? Am I?

OP posts:

pictish · 30/01/2012 13:28

I'm afraid you are.

I disagree with the woman too - but it's none of our business is it?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 30/01/2012 13:29

YABU to get so worked up about someone else's narrow mindedness.

Nixea · 30/01/2012 13:30

I find it incredibly insulting that you put "mum" as though she couldn't possibly be a real parent unless she agrees with your principles.

To still be seething seems a huge over reaction. For what it's worth, I also disagree with her but as pictish said - none of my business.

HowToLookGoodGlaikit · 30/01/2012 13:30

I remember a Dad at our toddler group removed a buggy & doll his son was playing with, shouting at him that boys dont play with dolls. Poor lad was about 18 months and in tears :(

everlong · 30/01/2012 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 30/01/2012 13:31

What business is it of yours what toys she buys her child and why? She didn't come up to you and say "You're WEIRD for being your son a cooker" did she?

Breathe and just let it go!

Harecare · 30/01/2012 13:32

YABU to have let it pass and then bitch about it afterwards. Had you simply said "of course it's normal, most children like playing with dolls, being a boy is irrelevant" you'd have said your piece and could now be over it.

JustHecate · 30/01/2012 13:33

Yes. You are.

She was talking to someone about her opinion. Her choice for her child. She wasn't actually criticising your choice, although clearly that's how you feel.

fwiw, I disagree with her too. But her choice is not in itself a criticism of someone's decision to make a different choice. She wasn't even talking to you about it!

You have taken it very personally, but there's really no need. It wasn't about you and it doesn't affect the choice that you have made (which imo is the better choice )

Catsdontcare · 30/01/2012 13:33

Who cares?

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 30/01/2012 13:35

YABU, for all of the reasons so eloquently stated above.

CamperFan · 30/01/2012 13:35

Exactly harecare.

You wanted to slap her?? That's a bit full on! And why is it "mum", and not just mum - because she has a different view to yours. I don't agree with her btw, but you are BVU.

blackoutthesun · 30/01/2012 13:37

why the ''mum''?

so she was having the convo with someone else yet you are all offended by her choice?

yabu

porcamiseria · 30/01/2012 13:38

well wowy for you being so gender-sensitive

her views whilst narrow, are not uncommon

QuickLookBusy · 30/01/2012 13:42

Why would you want to "slap her"? Sounds rather an aggressive thing to do to someone.

I do agree she is wrong to limit the toys her DC play with.

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 13:43

Are these sort of threads the new 'My MIL is a wanker' thread?

It's about time we had something to replace them I suppose

AndiMac · 30/01/2012 13:48

I think you are all being a bit harsh on the OP. I would be ticked off too if someone was talking about what "normal" behaviour for boys. The mother may have been only talking about her son, but by classifying his want of a doll as not normal, it insinuates that any boy wanting a doll is abnormal.

Original poster

HassledAndHarrassedMummy · 30/01/2012 13:54

Maybe I am BU, just really irked me. No, she wasn't saying it to me, but was having this conversation loud enough for all to hear and my eyes weren't the only ones rolling.
I guess I was/am just shocked at how narrow minded someone could be. I have never come across someone like that b4 and the way she was saying it "wasn't normal". I'm sorry but what sort of parent says that about ther 2/3yr old child because he wants a dora doll and once wanted to bring a disney princess figurine from a cousins. Maybe to want to slap her is a bit harsh, however I dnt think IABU in putting "Mum", just trying to get my point across. I can see from only being on here a few wks, that some people take this site way too seriously, already.

OP posts:

Nixea · 30/01/2012 13:56

"I can see from only being on here a few wks, that some people take this site way too seriously, already."

This from someone who wants to slap another adult who dares to have an opinion that differs from their own just made me a) chuckle and b) lose any ability to take this thread seriously!

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 13:57

Have you never come across people from an older generation with that view?

It's certainly not an uncommon one, though it is a view that seems to be changing in today's society.

GypsyMoth · 30/01/2012 13:57

Just like 'you' take a few remarks from a fellow mother so seriously op!!

RainboweBrite · 30/01/2012 13:58

If I were you, I would invite this woman's son to play and then take great pleasure informing her at collection just how much he enjoyed playing with the toy kitchen and go on about how important it is for all children to play with all toys, or words to that effect.

blackoutthesun · 30/01/2012 13:59

ah right because you have been told that you BU

I can see from only being on here a few wks, that some people take this site way too seriously, already.

still don't understand the ''mum''

pictish · 30/01/2012 14:01

Who is taking anything that seriously?

I just don't pay much heed to how other people see fit to deal with their kids because it's nothing to do with me. Try it.

ShirleyO · 30/01/2012 14:02

PosieParker · 30/01/2012 14:03

YANBU. Parents rearing children with sexist prejudice are dicks. Same as if she'd been saying we're not allowing John to play Bangra because he's white.

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