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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have wanted to slap this "Mum"?

117 replies

HassledAndHarrassedMummy · 30/01/2012 13:27

Just been to pick my daughter up from playschool and two of the other Mums were talking about toys thier kids play with......
The long and short of it was that one of the mums was talking about how her son wanted a dora doll and that her and her husband thought it wasn't "normal" for him to want a doll and he should be playing with cars and other "manly stuff". Blah blah blah. She just kept saying that it wasn't normal.
AIBU to be completely aggrieved by what this woman was saying??? My DS got a cooker for his 2nd b'day as this is what he wanted and more recently my DD got a Thundercats sword for Xmas as she was absolutely deperate for it. Are my children not going to be normal because of this??? Have I ruined there lives by not buying them the correct toys?
I didn't say anything. I just rolled my eyes, but since I got home I have been quietly seething about this woman?
I'm not BU? Am I?

OP posts:

Original poster

HassledAndHarrassedMummy · 30/01/2012 14:04

I dnt have any older relatives and I'm not really arnd the older generation so tbh no I dnt think I have been told this by before.
And so she 'dared' to have a diff opinion to me. I appreciate that people are allowed to have their own opinions, I was just shocked that she was saying about it being not normal. If she was saying we prefer him to play with cars and trucks etc for xyz reasons fair enough, bt to say its nt normal and as AndiMac put, implying that boys who do have dolls etc are not normal.
I'm obviously a minority in thinking that is wrong. Anyway just off to take my sword weilding DD to ballet :o

OP posts:

sittinghippo · 30/01/2012 14:06

Oh a whole lot of knickers are in a twist today OP. If you are going to post in AIBU you just need to be very careful how you word it.

No, in principle you ANBU, I can see the point you are trying to make, I also witnessed a father yank his son away from the 'girl' toys, it was very upsetting to see. How sad that people can be so narrow minded towards their own very young children.

I have pictures of my friends DS dressed up in princess fancy dress costumes, and we do giggle over it, but it is innocent play, and completely harmless.
Much the same as my DD likes to play the part of pirate/Bob the Builder/Spiderman.

pictish · 30/01/2012 14:09

I don't think anyone here disagrees with you in principal OP....just that you allowed it to wind you up so much that you were seething.

I never seeth over other people's ignorant dumbass peabrained parenting choices, unless the affect me or mine directly.

Original poster

HassledAndHarrassedMummy · 30/01/2012 14:11

I think ur right sittinghippo I maybe do need to word things differently. No knickers need get in a twist because of me oops*

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 14:12

Some people use the word 'normal' when they mean commonplace

So maybe in her circle it's not commonplace for boys to play with dolls

I suppose that's the thing about overhearing someone else's conversation, you can't really butt in and question them on it.

pictish · 30/01/2012 14:14

seethe

This site really needs an edit facility!! Why isn't there one??

Pendeen · 30/01/2012 14:18

There is another thread running about someone who disagreed with a comment but then - in that case - instead of saying something actually went away to tell someone else about it.

You have come to MN to seethe, well IMO YABU.

If you disagree with someone and it annoys you or ofends you, then say so at the time.

Or are people really so scary these days?

cornflowers · 30/01/2012 14:25

The very fact that you are so angry and judgemental about this seems, I don't know, almost oxymoronic.

DeWe · 30/01/2012 14:32

I hope you're taking your ds to ballet too, otherwise you are just as guilty...

sittinghippo · 30/01/2012 14:34

Ooh DeWe point well made.

Kladdkaka · 30/01/2012 14:38

I'm also intrigued as to why you put "mum" in your title.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 30/01/2012 14:39

It's a bit sad that she is so narrow minded but there you go. I had one of the mums at ds's preschool comment on his Dora lunchbox once, and not in a good way. I just pursed my lips and moved on. Her problem, not mine.

Original poster

HassledAndHarrassedMummy · 30/01/2012 14:41

DS doesn't wnt to do ballet. Plus he's at school. If he did I wud take him to classes. He does do street dance tho. Does that count?

Oxymoronic :O

Maybe I should've said something. Maybe not. I thought whole idea of MN was to have a rant/whinge/ask opinions. I didn't realise I would upset so many people. Maybe I'l just stick with FB, at least if I offend any1 it's only those I know, ha ha.

OP posts:

sittinghippo · 30/01/2012 14:44

Nah, stay with us Hassled, it's ok once you get used to it. I think it's something to do with it being Monday.

MeltedChocolate · 30/01/2012 14:46

You're not upsetting people, you are the only one getting so upset. I would say people are amused and amazed at how wound up you are over little.

MeltedChocolate · 30/01/2012 14:48

Seriously you come on AIBU asking that, AM I? It's a question, with two possible answers, so be ready for both and stop getting upset and defensive that you are not getting the answer you want. You'll get along much better that way.

JuliaScurr · 30/01/2012 14:50

hassled I'd probably do the same. I have left/feminist politics (confrontational) but really can't do personal conflict. It's a contradictory combination

aldiwhore · 30/01/2012 14:51

YANBU to think that the woman was a ignorant twat.

YABU to not have said something withering and sarcastic to her.

YABU to want to slap her.

Original poster

HassledAndHarrassedMummy · 30/01/2012 14:57

Sitting and having a chuckle is hardly what I would call upset MeltedChocolate. I'm more than a little amused. Certainly beats my normal Monday afternoon, lol. Just surprised by some of the responses. I am not asking for people to agree with me and more than welcome a debate, however people getting quite obviously irked by me because I wanted to slap someone who dared to have a diff opinion to me and calling me oxymoronic just smacks a little of people taking this too seriously. Obviously I'm nt going to slap her and I probably should have said something if it bothered me that much, but hey ho, nt going to lose sleep over it.

And thanx sittinghippo. Maybe it's just me. I am new to this. It's kept me amused this aft tho, that's for sure.

OP posts:

lockets · 30/01/2012 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MeltedChocolate · 30/01/2012 15:04

Here

entropygirl · 30/01/2012 15:09

OP do not be misled by people saying this is none of your business....when kids get to school you can bet that the DS who likes dolls and the DD who likes swords will be well and truly turned on due to the CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM message these mum's broadcast to their DC's.

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 15:13

But you are being oxymoronic are you not?

Original poster

HassledAndHarrassedMummy · 30/01/2012 15:20

lockets :o

OP posts:

mrsjay · 30/01/2012 15:21

while the parents views may seem old fashioned to you it is their views i think you should let it go , some people just think like this and have really rigid views about gender and toys ,

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