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Original poster

Husband secretely takes day off

526 replies

katieks · 27/01/2012 17:13

This morning I discovered that I had forgotten the kids bag when I dropped them off at childminders so drove home to get it. When I got home, my husband was in shorts, curtains drawn playing Playstation in the lounge. I asked why he was dressed like that and he said he had taken the day off. He never told me that he was going to take the day off. Until I had left for work, everything had been run the usual way and I expected he was going to work (I leave earlier than him). He also had to rearrange a delivery from a couple of days back and had rearranged it for today so he obviously had planned it before-hand.

He doesn't think it's a big deal - I do and was quite upset driving back to work. When I got back this evening I asked if he had done this before and he said no. I just think it's awful that he didn't even tell me. What do you all think?

OP posts:
WirralOne · 28/05/2021 08:42

I know this thread is a little old. But I'm slightly flabbergasted that so many think this is lying and being deceitful?? I myself work long hours at times. Occasionally I will take a day off where I want to just spend time on my own whilst the kids are at school. I don't tell my partner until the day if at all sometimes. And it boils down to the fact he will make plans on my behalf.

Oh seeing as you're off I'm just going to take the car the shop for half the day (he's off all week to do this at his lesuire) SS is staying over so I'll take him such a place as you're off (without seeing if I have made my own plans first) it causes friction. So I don't tell him or leave it extremely last minite. I'm not disrespecting him, im not lying to him. I'm looking out for my own wellbeing with some r&r without having plans premade for me.

Thistles24 · 28/05/2021 09:01

Why did he feel the need to keep it a secret? It’s strange not to mention it, I’d bet he either feels guilty himself about doing it because you wouldn’t have done the same, or he thought you wouldn’t approve.

Voomster953 · 28/05/2021 09:08

@WirralOne

I know this thread is a little old. But I'm slightly flabbergasted that so many think this is lying and being deceitful?? I myself work long hours at times. Occasionally I will take a day off where I want to just spend time on my own whilst the kids are at school. I don't tell my partner until the day if at all sometimes. And it boils down to the fact he will make plans on my behalf.

Oh seeing as you're off I'm just going to take the car the shop for half the day (he's off all week to do this at his lesuire) SS is staying over so I'll take him such a place as you're off (without seeing if I have made my own plans first) it causes friction. So I don't tell him or leave it extremely last minite. I'm not disrespecting him, im not lying to him. I'm looking out for my own wellbeing with some r&r without having plans premade for me.

It’s not a little old, it’s nine years old?! How on earth did you find it?!
notanothertakeaway · 28/05/2021 09:10

ZOMBIE THREAD

Whatabouteryallaboutery · 28/05/2021 09:11

Possibly they read 2012 as 2021? Bit much to be expecting an update after all this time Grin

SchrodingersImmigrant · 28/05/2021 09:13

I have a same question as @Voomster953 😂

cheesybean · 28/05/2021 09:14

I've done it before.

If I say I'm taking a day off, people expect the house to be tidied and ask me to run errands for them.

If you knew he was taking it off, would you have asked the same of him?

littlepieces · 28/05/2021 09:17

Maybe he just needed some chill time by himself and was worried about being judged for spending a day playing PlayStation in his shorts...
People just need some alone time sometimes.

Userguaranteed · 28/05/2021 09:21

Can't believe i almost posted here. Just looked at the date. Why do people do this - it's a thread from 2012!

MN should seriously consider closing old threads and only reopening if the OP requests it.

dun1urkin · 28/05/2021 09:24

Is there some sort of game where one reanimates a zombie thread to see how many people will comment without realising it’s a zombie thread? Y’know, for shits and giggles at their expense?? Does this game have a name? Grin

Cupcakeschocolate · 28/05/2021 09:24

Dh is self employed. Always has been. When I was working pre kids I would just take days off as and when if I knew we weren't planning a holiday. Never occurred to me to tell him. He wasn't bothered either way.

RedSquirrelsAreAwesome · 28/05/2021 09:27

Why?
Just why?

Zombie thread from 2012 🙈

looptheloopinahulahoop · 28/05/2021 09:30

@Userguaranteed

Can't believe i almost posted here. Just looked at the date. Why do people do this - it's a thread from 2012!

MN should seriously consider closing old threads and only reopening if the OP requests it.

Totally agree. The warning about the thread not having been posted on for a while doesn't work.
Aprilinspringtimeshower · 28/05/2021 09:34

@Sposh

I've done this Blush

If everyone knew I had a day off I would have been given tasks. Nothing major, just 'seeing as how you're going to be home all day could you...?'

Errr no, I couldn't. I'm going to sit on my arse and watch crap telly.

So instead of having the tiff about it I just didn't mention it.

Couldn't get away with it nowadays, more's the pity.

Yes, I was guilty of this too. It was to avoid the “can You just ...” or being made to feel a bit guilty that I wanted time on my own with just my own thoughts. I didn’t want to have to find reasons why I was taking a day off to justify it . I think lots of introverts probably do this 🤣🤣🤣
Blankspace101 · 28/05/2021 09:36

I don’t know what your problem with this is?

Grumpycatsmum · 28/05/2021 09:41

It wouldn't necessarily occur to me to tell DP I was booking a day off.

PlanetOfTheApesLives · 28/05/2021 09:43

@WirralOne

I know this thread is a little old. But I'm slightly flabbergasted that so many think this is lying and being deceitful?? I myself work long hours at times. Occasionally I will take a day off where I want to just spend time on my own whilst the kids are at school. I don't tell my partner until the day if at all sometimes. And it boils down to the fact he will make plans on my behalf.

Oh seeing as you're off I'm just going to take the car the shop for half the day (he's off all week to do this at his lesuire) SS is staying over so I'll take him such a place as you're off (without seeing if I have made my own plans first) it causes friction. So I don't tell him or leave it extremely last minite. I'm not disrespecting him, im not lying to him. I'm looking out for my own wellbeing with some r&r without having plans premade for me.

@WirralOne

The post before you revived the zombie was dated Wed 01-Feb-12 20:01:58

Wow now that is old

MrsIsobelCrawley · 28/05/2021 09:46

The OP is nine years old.

But that won't stop some posters proffering their opinion.

TeapotCollection · 28/05/2021 09:49

I’ve just had a packet of fruit gums and there were NO red or black ones in it 😡 had to moan somewhere

TopBlogger · 28/05/2021 09:50

@WirralOne

I know this thread is a little old. But I'm slightly flabbergasted that so many think this is lying and being deceitful?? I myself work long hours at times. Occasionally I will take a day off where I want to just spend time on my own whilst the kids are at school. I don't tell my partner until the day if at all sometimes. And it boils down to the fact he will make plans on my behalf.

Oh seeing as you're off I'm just going to take the car the shop for half the day (he's off all week to do this at his lesuire) SS is staying over so I'll take him such a place as you're off (without seeing if I have made my own plans first) it causes friction. So I don't tell him or leave it extremely last minite. I'm not disrespecting him, im not lying to him. I'm looking out for my own wellbeing with some r&r without having plans premade for me.

I wonder what you searched @WirralOne to find this thread? "Threads years old I can post my banal views on" would probably be it
timeisnotaline · 28/05/2021 09:51

@PigHog

Or maybe.....just maybe he didnt want to spend all his spare time with you?

Perhaps he just needs a break from everything and wants some me time?

What a crazy idea eh? No nagging, no kids, just a Playstation!

Yes but his wife is carrying him. She’s parenting cooking and cleaning in the evenings while he works, which he could obviously not do if he can just take a day off. It all sounds very one way, and the passport thing would drive me batshit. I’m so sick of having to read every form like that for dh so I don’t which means we had to go back to the witness twice for one child’s passport to fix the form. I think it’s perfectly reasonable saying we should be able to share out these jobs and it makes me fucking furious that not only do I feel like I have to check and shadow you because you fuck it up but then I also have to manage your temper because no matter what happens you don’t like how I do it. If you don’t want me to write instructions fucking well read the guidelines then, and don’t be surprised if I’m fucking furious at having to write instructions for a capable adult, the only reason you fuck these up is because it’s not important to you and you secretly think boring shit is my job, so don’t expect me to be happy with your attitude or you.
timeisnotaline · 28/05/2021 09:51

Haha wow it’s a total zombie.

Bluedeblue · 28/05/2021 09:52

Passports will be almost expired now and the babies about to leave primary school Smile

Sometimesfraught82 · 28/05/2021 09:54

How many children do you have OP?

JorisBonson · 28/05/2021 09:55

Op's husband is now 72 years old and retired.