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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take the full time nursery places?

229 replies

CoffeeDog · 27/01/2012 10:37

Just had a letter that have said the twins have been offered full time nursery placements in September (they were 3 in dec and currentley go p/t 15hr a week) The Nursery id fab and is massivley over subscribed the DT only just got in despite being december babies.

A little smug mummy-ish but they are bright little lads they know number shapes colours animals and love learning new things - they dont care if its great grandpa telling them about steam engines or their big sister teaching them the names/attacks of pokemon. They are hard work as Everything is why mummy what is /what if... I dont get any family help with childcare.

My friends little girl also goes to nursey with the DT but is a little older and started back in september - she has not been offered a full time place. My friend has said she will be 'having a word' with the office as its not fair as she works and could do with her DD being at nursery 9-2 m-f (free as gov funded) and i should think about leaving the twins pt to make room for those who have to work.

When we go there today there will be at least 30 kids that didnt get the coverted ft placements and will remain pt- Some of the parents work - I don't (DH does) there will be a big hooha about what selection process etc were used and i expect more than 1 mum/dad to suguest i dont take the 2 ft places for the twins as i am 'at home all day'

AIBU to take the places

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 28/01/2012 14:19

Sorry hocus but I disagree. The Nursery Education Grant is designed to facilitate nursery education not childcare. The hours are term time and spread over several days - this is not conducive to covering working hours. Universal nursery education is designed to benefit children, not working parents.

RitaMorgan · 28/01/2012 14:21

And where I live, additional funded hours (here it is either 6 or 12 hours) are based on need - having a working parent isn't a need.

Tanith · 28/01/2012 15:27

RitaMorgan is right. The free entitlement was never intended to benefit working parents. That's the purpose of Working Family Tax Credits.

The free entitlement is for education and benefits the child. It is not, and has never been, free childcare.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 28/01/2012 15:29

As a parent who was working when dd1 started at pre school I can tell you that preschool was a pain in the arse, logistics wise. It was far easier when she went to grandmothers and daycare. Having to drop her off and organise for her to be collected gave me a shed load of headaches. But i did it because she adores preschool, it certainly wasn't any childcare benefit to me.

mumnotmachine · 28/01/2012 15:41

I would take the places. Absolutely.

Although, at 3, where I live, they would be full time school now anyway!!

ZenNudist · 28/01/2012 16:00

I think you should take the places. Your DT will benefit from nursery provision. Why should only working mums get the benefit of enhanced pre-school education. I don't think the tax you do or don't pay comes into it. I don't know anything about your "friend's" situation, she could be job working to make ends meet, she could be keeping up her career for a better pay and pension than you will ever see. It's not relevant. The nursery has decided. Take it, in the future you may not be so lucky.

I say this as a working mum who wouldn't want to be home all day with dc but who also wouldnt see the point of not working whilst my dc are in school/ nursery. Perhaps you can use your five hours a day to do something more useful than domestic. Volunteer or retrain, it will help you improve your chances of getting a job in the future.

NorthernWreck · 28/01/2012 16:55

Wow. A lot of judging going on here about " why oh why would OP want to have her twins in full time nursery when she doesn't work?"

Well, isn't childcare work?

If you don't have twins I think you would be silly to judge this actually. Twins are a different kettle of fish altogether (my sister has them so I know a little bit.)
If I was looking after two 3 year olds 7 days a week, I would jump at the chance for a nursery place 9-2 (which is not really full time, so not taking a place from a working parent anyway.)

So what if she does put her feet up during the time her twins are having a vlast at nursery. I certainly would.
Motherhood isn't a competition about who can wear themselves out the most, and martyr themselves to the cause.

Take the places and don't think twice OP.

NorthernWreck · 28/01/2012 16:56

vlast-blast!

GirlWithPointyShoes · 28/01/2012 17:17

Well said Northern.

Justabouthadenough · 28/01/2012 17:49

Coffeedog - I'd say take the places, and feel thoroughly chuffed that both your boys got a place. Grin imagine how you'd feel if only one got a place, or neither?

EauDeLaPoisson · 28/01/2012 17:49

RitaMorgan Sat 28-Jan-12 12:08:05

Maybe these twins do need the places more than the children of working parents who can pay for a place anywhere they want (and get tax credits towards it if they are struggling to pay).

A child of parents who don't work might actually need the free place more than the child of a parent who can pick and choose a paid-for place.

I dont agree with this- many working parents (like the doctor on another thread) pay ridiculous costs for childcare and many like myself struggle to find suitable child care due to shifts etc. So it does stick in the throat a little that non working people can be offered such a cushy number on a plate.

RitaMorgan · 28/01/2012 17:57

A 9-2 nursery place isn't going to be much help for a shift worker.

And the Dr had £400 spending money after childcare - in what world is that struggling?

EauDeLaPoisson · 28/01/2012 18:00

£400 disposable income? Wow- thats immense Hmm. Can you not grasp how that means one person pays an arm and leg for childcare yet another is very fortunate to have it provided for free?
There needs to be some sort of level playing field but I realise this is not the OP's fault

RitaMorgan · 28/01/2012 18:29

If £400 is peanuts to you, then you aren't really in need of a free nursery place.

cocoachannel · 28/01/2012 18:37

A long way back now but I don't understand why you highlight 'the civil partnership' couple alongside LPs etc.? Odd. I'm fairly sure that's not a criteria for extra benefits...?

grobagsforever · 28/01/2012 18:42

Of course a free nine to two place could benefit a working parent. They could get a childminder or nanny to cover the afternoons. Or compress their hours. It is simply not fair that someone who doesn't need the places to put food on the table should have them when thousands of families are on the breadline. So yes, I too am thinking of the children, the ones who don't have sufficient clothes or books!! Our taxes should be helping these families. Early years education is not a necessity a parent is perfectly capable of providing that level of education at home. Besides the ratio of adults to children in early years settings at three is one to eight. So clearly they would get more one to one education at home. If OP is exhausted and needs a break then of course she should use the fifteen hours then everyone gets , but it's not fair that she should get an extra ten.

RitaMorgan · 28/01/2012 18:56

Our taxes do help those families - Child Tax Credit and WTC with a Childcare element.

15 hours of nursery education is universal. Extra funded hours (where I work at least) is allocated due to the child's need. Having a working parent is not a need, and funded places are not money off childcare.

My place is LA funded, but if the extra hours at the OP's nursery are funded by fundraising then it is up to the nursery's management committee to set criteria. If their criteria is down to need, then the OP turning down a place doesn't mean it will go to a working parent.

grobagsforever · 28/01/2012 19:04

And on what basis do OPs bright twins NEED these places? They would get just ad much benefit reading books and painting at home. It IS a childcare issue whether by design or not.

otchayaniye · 28/01/2012 19:16

my average three year old can read.

but that's because we kept her at home and read to her instead of leaving her at nursery....

RitaMorgan · 28/01/2012 19:20

I don't know grobags, seeing as I don't work at this nursery. We have plenty of bright children with stay at home parents on funded places at my work though.

Kladdkaka · 28/01/2012 19:24

OP it's simple really. Taking into account all of your families circumstances which we don't have a clue about, do you think your children will benefit more from increasing their nursery hours or more from spending that time at home? Base your decision on that.

TheBigJessie · 28/01/2012 19:32

otchayaniye

Congratulations. Is that just the one three year old there? Have you been able to replicate this achievement with previous/subsequent children, when each was three?

Glittertwins · 28/01/2012 19:35

yANBU. It's hard work entertains twins at that age. I go to work for respite! You didn't make the allocations rules, if you want them to go and they want to then that is your decision.

cocoachannel · 28/01/2012 19:40

Yes, congratulations oychayaniye. I am very envious. What with DD having started nursery at nine months I doubt she'll ever learn to read despite the fact she has at least a couple of stories before bed, several at weekends, and unless they're fabricating the reports and photos the nursery read books with each child one to one and in groups several times a day, despite DD not yet being a year old.

What a bloody stupid comment.

Jacaqueen · 28/01/2012 20:22

I wouldn't take the full time places but I would ask for the morning sessions. 3 hours would give me plenty of time to get chores done and have some time to myself.

I'd then pick them up and give them some time with me without their older sibling being there. Maybe go for lunch once a week or take a picnic to the park.

It won't be that long until they are at school 9-3 and you never get these early years back.