Is my husband being a tit?

[Greenshirt]

He's still sulking after my parents didn't buy him a present at Christmas.WTF?

Does he normally get on well with them?

Soz, but it IS odd that they missed him out...

A tin of biscuits is a mingey type of present...

My DH would be hurt if my parents didn't buy him something, so YABU.

Why do people insist that Christmas is for children?!?!

It's a time of year when we traditionally get together with ALL of the people that supposedly love us, and we buy gifts - supposedly - to show our love and appreciation for them. Admittedly, there are plenty of people who say they don't "need" a special time of year to show how much they love and appreciate their family members. Always makes me think they are a cheapskate, tbh.

I understand that people who DO have children tend to put most of their money towards those Christmas presents, but if that list of "gifts" was what he got from the people who are meant to love and cherish him, I should think he'll be annoyed till July at least!!!

There wasn't a single thing on that list that was particularly personal, as if the gift giver has actually put any thought into buying something that your husband might actually LIKE for Christmas. WHO, genuinely, wants a tin of chuffing body spray for Christmas?!?!?! As part of a gift basket maybe, but not on its own!

If this is a man that you still love and have respect for (in other words, that you don't feel that your relationship is in any trouble or whatever), I would also feel aggrieved on his behalf too. Everyone likes to feel appreciated and special times of year like Christmas, birthdays, and even the contrived stuff like Feb 14th, allow us to do this.

Just for curiosity sake, what did you get for Christmas?

Good grief.I am flabbergasted.We always buy each other small presents at xmas as we have always agreed that we would rather spend on the kids than ourselves.The kids chose the presents themselves,so many thanks to the people who didn't think they were up to much.Cheers for that.I think I'm getting a little worked up here by people saying that adults should always have a present unless it has been specifically agreed,no gifts for the adults.Every family is different though I suppose.Reality check completed.Thanks for taking an interest Hully.Good to see you back.

I haven't been anywhere...

No no, nothing wrong with the presents. We don't do ANY adult presents in my family, only kids.

Just is a bit odd they did you and not him.

Don't be upset.

I can't get past the fact that you gave him a teddy. He's a grown man.

Apart from that, though, it's fair enough to feel miffed that his in laws didn't buy him anything at all. Perhaps it is a little over the top to still be whinging about it now though.

Hey! Good idea alert!

They can buy him therapy for his fortieth!

Meow-being his wife for the past 13 yrs and making sure our kids are happy and healthy seems like quite a nice gift.Bit difficult to wrap though[mmm].
What did I get? A catering tin of coffee,box of toffee chocolates,lipstick and cuddly reindeer from littlest one.

Soupdragon-the teddy was chosen for him by our two yr old.Yes he is a grown man also a dad.

I think it sounds like a bit of a snub. I'd be mortified if my inlaws gave my partner a tin of biscuits and me nothing, I'd assume I'd done something terrible. And if they were for both of us, I'd assume we'd both done something terrible.

Seems a bit lacking in Christmas spirit tbh.

I don't have a problem with small gifts. I think they are very sensible. I have much more of a problem with people spending more than they can afford on one day. BUT - for your parents to get you, the other adult, something and not your DH is mean. Especially as box of biscuits is a gift which is very easy to share so could have been joint gift.

So OP, are you sulking coz you didnt get anything from his parents....no!!

Seriously, its pathetic sulking over a present. You know what I got for xmas this year??? A notepad DS made me...that is it!! Do I care, of course I dont, I am 40 years old and beyond sulking over presents!

I am amazed at the amount of people on this thread who think it is acceptable for a grown man to sulk about this to be honest

I think if it is agreed that adults don't do presents and your parents brought a token gift then it is fine.

Not everyone does big gift frenzies, it is not compulsory at Xmas.

OP
Is he just a bit narked, or is he giving you a hard time over it?

from how you've described the 'gift' to you, OP, they weren't a gift at all but a box to share - your parents didn't buy either of you a gift but you're claiming the biscuits?

YANBU. His parents didn't get you anything!

And, from what you've posted, it seems that the biscuits were more of a contribution, like bringing a bottle of wine over when invited for a meal, than an actual prezzie specifically with your name on it.

He's being a tit to string out the sulkiness this long. Does he normally get on with your parents or is this perceived slight on top of other things?

unless, of course, as JaneMare suggests, you grabbed them off your parents going "Mine! All mine!" and ran off to the shed to scoff them. Then he has a point...

Sorry, OP I don't think you are wrong if neither of your parents usually give you and DP anything and indeed his parents didn't bring you a present. I was imagining you all sat around after dinner handing out presents and he was the only one that didn't have one to open. In the light of what you have told us yes, he is being a bit strange about it. Does he generally think they don't like him?!

I suppose i can only imagine someone sulking about it for a long time if they generally felt overlooked or as if they were often treated poorly, not just for something like this. I agree that is odd!

Well the body spray was from his mum.

I don't think chocolates quite count as a gift.

So the sum total he got from his wife, three kids and in-laws was a gym bag and a teddy bear. Maybe in a normal year he would be fine with that, but if he's a bit down and feeling low and approaching 40, maybe it's kind of depressing.

DH and I definitely don't get each other a lot or spend too much, but we do get each other little things that are thoughtful and that we know the other will enjoy. It's just a nice thing to do!

I understand you don't feel the need for presents but maybe your DH feels differently right now.

The biscuits don't seem like a Christmas gift though, as Lovecat says, it's more like bringing a bottle of wine.

OP your husband is being a childish tit. I suggest throwing a hissy fit that his parents didn't buy you anything (despite buying him some body spray - a gift that is actually just for him, unlike the biscuits...). See if that'll learn him.

How hard would it have been to put his name as well as yours on a box of biscuits though?

The fact that it wasn't, is very telling I think...or maybe it's not But it would make me paranoid that it was a snub.

And I'm not even that keen on biscuits as a rule

Tbh both your presents sound a bit shit. If my dh bought me catering coffee for Christmas he would be my ex dh!!

But it's jan 25th he needs to get over it!

My parents buy me present at about £100 and dh a token at about £20 but it doesn't bother him. Mil just buys kids. Works for us.