People who are late for school every day or almost every day.

[MrsJAlfredPrufrock]

Why don't you just get up 15 mins earlier?

I have been getting better with my lateness this week. My biggest problem is/was only estimating driving time and thinking the time you need to arrive is the same as the time you need to park. It actually had to be pointed out that that is not the case . I also arse about with stuff thinking I have all the time in the world because I don't think I'm late until the time I am supposed to be there. I was 'early' for an appointment today, its a 5 min drive so i left 15 mins before which allowed for ds to arse about getting in the car, a few minutes to circle the car park, a minute to drive out of the car park and parallel park on the road, then time to walk to the building and the 2 min walk inside the building up all the stairs and be about 2 minute early. It was lovely. I was about 3 min late last week which is the time it take to get from the car to where i need to be. I am rarely late late for school but probably 80% of the time the dcs are running onto the playground seconds before the whistle goes because I think if I am turning into the street 1 min before start time then I am 1 min early .

btw, upahill - it's strongestmummy not strangest mummy

I hope you're not suggesting that parents should have a hygiene certificate, when it comes to storing sandwiches. Really?

I don't give a stuff what 'rules' there are surrounding the viability of a sandwich there are, after 12 hours. I say again, children have eaten and survived on warm sandwiches for years and years and years!

DD2 ensures I'm not late in a morning. Sadly she can't do the same for school pick up.
The, generally, very precisely timed bus next year will make her

Making a packed lunch the night before, for instance, if you make a sandwich it will be grim 12 hours later

My dh has always made his lunch the night before. He keeps it in the fridge & it is never 'grim'. We also keep mini ice blocks in the lunches to keep them cool. If we can make lunches here (Australia) & keep it edible after a few hours, in 40 degree heat, I am sure people in the UK can!

but as usual got there 40 minutes late. She was cross, but why?

You sound like you just don't care! But I bet you are the type of person who moans like hell if a dentist or dr is running late! I would be immensely pissed off if you rocked up 40minutes late for an outing. Why shouldn't she be mad? Your time isn't more important than hers & by being so late, you are implying that it is.

Similarly with work, I used to work at a place with a rigid 0830 start. I was in at 0835 every day. It drove me and my boss and my coworkers nuts

You answered that already! Again, rude & disrespectful to be late, EVERYDAY & not really care. You must not have cared,. because if you did, you would have made efforts to change it.

StrongestMummyInTheWorld

I used to work with a dentist who was always late. Late even getting in in the morning. So this set the whole day late with little chance to catch up. We had patients who would have to reschedule after waiting for ages to see him. And we (the reception staff) would cop an earful, because he was in his room, with his patient, so we would have to listen to all the moaning etc. And believe me, there was A LOT! We were sworn at at times too, all because he couldn't that it took longer than 30minutes for him to get to work! Then, when they eventually saw him, they were sweetness & light with him!

We also had staff refusing to work with him, because they wouldn't get a lunch break & they would finish late at the end of the day too. Also a receptionist had to stay late, so he was making 2 people late to get home to their families etc. I was that person on many occasion. Not being a driver at the time, my dh would be waiting outside in the car to take me home. So now he was late too. So that's 3 people. Once my daughter was born, it was 4 people. (Although it happened less as I refused to have her waiting in the car & made it a term of my new contract that I wouldn't be staying late)

After a while a few patients took it upon themselves to start arriving late for their appointments. As you probably could imagine, he went mad! He wasn't happy about (on the very odd occasion) being kept waiting & truly didn't see how it was a problem that he kept them waiting, but was furious when it was the other way around.

Then there was the time that I was at work until 10pm (5pm finish) because (a different) dentist was also crap at time keeping. I couldn't leave because it was a female patient & part of my job was to be a chaperone. I also had to tidy & close down the practice.

It isn't just you it affects. And it is selfish to assume that it is.

This "my time is more important than yours" thing makes total sense.

I don't remember being late much as a child, but we were more a "skin of your teeth" type family. Lots of stress before holidays because my parents didn't pack until the night before, that kind of thing.

But now, my parents are still "SOYT" for most things... They manage to be on time for the theatre, for work etc.

But not for us. It takes 45mins max to get here and they visit maybe once a month. They are always late. Usually because they have had to stop halfway for a flipping coffee or breakfast - both of which we have here (the coffee is actually theirs, we keep it for them as we don't drink it ourselves!). DH always jokes about it: "what time are they getting here?" "they said 10ish" "ok, so 12 then." I used to be all defensive about it but he's right, they just don't care. They don't care what else we have planned for the day, or that it'll be pointless even taking the DCs out as they'd promised, or that we will spend an hour being told about whoever from wherever or being shown photos or something while the DCs try to get their attention, and THEN mum will complain about lack of tea/coffee/lunch.

It hurts that when they can be on time for other things, they can't be on time for me, or for their only GCs who are desperate to see them. What, they made me so they get to piss me about and I don't have the right to complain about it? Not fair. :(

That would do my head in fuzzy. If they said 10 and weren't there by 11 I'd probably just go out and when they moan say ' well you said 10, by 11 we thought you weren't bothering'.

It's bloody bad manners.

'Thinking about it, its not the actual lateness that bothers me, its the whole I-dont-care-if-Im-late attitude that some people seem to have. Also why do these people assume those of us who are usually on time think we are constantly clock watching and stressing about the time. I hate to be late and will always have a reason and an apology if I am late, but I dont get all uppity about the time, I just know how long it takes me to do something and get it done in that time. This morning I got up at 7 because I knew what needed doing and knew that gave me enough (more than enough as it turns out) time to do everything and get DS to school for 8:50. There was no right we need to have breakfast by this time, get dressed by that time etc.'

But for those of us who AREN'T naturally punctual, we HAVE to do that in order to even TRY to be punctual. How hard would you find it to be on time if you had to run it like that? Where even one minute out on one task messes up your entire routine and has a knock-on effect for everything that comes after it?

Breakfast time is the killer in my house. They are meant to sit down with their breakfast in front of them at 7am, and put their empty bowls in the kitchen at 7.30am. Some days, DD and DS2 will still be eating at 7.45am. By which point, we are running 15 minutes late. I can't get DD to even tell me WHAT breakfast she wants before 6.50am. I get her up at 6.30am, but if I ask her a question before she has had 20 minutes to engage her brain, then we have a MASSIVE meltdown of epic proportions.

I have tried to be earlier etc - but when faced with getting up BEFORE 6.30am, I just can't do it! In fact, I have only grudgingly started getting up at 6.30am because I had DS3, and having another child means that I just need more TIME in the mornings (See, I GET that, have started getting up at what is the middle of the night, to me). 7am is far too early IMO - anything BEFORE 9am is NOT meant to be a time to get up at. Says the night owl who MUCH prefers working night shift than day shift.

Honestly, I can be early for work when I start at 9pm, but late when I start at 9am. Maybe those punctual-in-the-morning people should try to imagine how punctual they would be if they started work at 9pm...

I manage to be either early or on time EVERY day that the bus turns up on time. I'm only EVER late when the BUS is late. Doesn't mean that I find it easy, or that it comes naturally to me!

My child has short term memory problems and problems with concentration, I can wake him up at 4 am and someway or another we will manage to be late every day for a multitude of different,reasons even when the school is just across the street.

15 minutes earlier? you are most welcome to come to stay for a week and try the '15 minutes earlier technique'. With luck you will manage to get my child, his shoes, lunch and other kit in time to school by... lunchtime.

Saggar, it is rude, I think I wouldn't find it quite so bad (!) if they were late for everything. But it seems like I'm the only one who doesn't matter enough to be on time for.

Needless to say there are gazillions of other issues with them, not just the lateness!

Oh and I like your idea of going out - they are coming at 11 (so... 12? 1?) tomorrow and I'd promised DD a nature walk - so we will go as soon as we are ready in the morning. Mum phones when they leave so we could be back on time... They have keys so technically we could stay out later but I don't have the guts to make a point like that.

fuzzpig isn't it strange how you feel responsible for their lateness, that you can't do anything else for 2 hours because they could arrive anytime between 11 and 1? You really do not have to feel like that and if you are not home and make them wait what are they really going to say? That you weren't there when you said you would be? That it's rude to keep them waiting? I think if you don't say anything they will assume that it's not an inconvenience to you and carry on like this forever.

I went on holiday with my PILS last year. They always turn up just before gates close because they fly at lot but I like to be there the full 2 hours before just to make sure we are there. Last year because we went together, they came early with us. Then FIL realised he didn't have his passport and actually had time to go back home and get it.

I think they wouldn't actually be that bothered though, if we were still out on our walk. They would probably just use it as justification for them to continue being late!

Hunty I was more making a point to those people who said that they'd rather be late than constantly clock watching and being anal about time as it will just stress their children out. I seemed to get the impression by them was that lateness was fine as it was more relaxed and I was just saying not everyone who is on time is stressed out about it

DS1 (6) begs me on a daily basis to be late enough to have to go into school through the office, he likes the thought of making an entrance!! We are often there just as the doors open, much to his disgust...........maybe I should give myself a break and let him be late for once.

Matches and Upahill, thank you again for your replies. I have not looked at them till now because I had a great weekend, working really hard to stay on track and keep my daughter on time too. It was very funny for my husband because I was telling him "we have to go now" and usually that's his line. But it was great, and we were early into school today again too.

I probably have a quite severe short term memory impairment. In some ways I despaired of ever being on time and I got to thinking people can either take me or leave me. But what this thread has convinced me is that I do have to use all the crutches I can make to prop up my poor memory. And one of them is imagining what other people might feel differently to me, rather than trying to imagine how I would feel, because we don't actually all feel the same way about things.

Sorry I got your name wrong strongest!!!

Thanks for not getting upset about my post.

Sometimes, with some friend,s I can be quite fluid with time BUT as long as they know about it.
Say if I am meeting my friend who I go walking with and we don't have anythign to rush to afterwards we might say 'Ok, I'll see you at your house at 10ish' and then send a text when we are setting off.

I have never owned a watch but one thing I do is, say if I am happy MNing for a while (and we all know it is a time eater) and I have to leave the house in 50 mins time sometime I will set the alarm on my phone for 40 mins to give me a warning. That way I am not clock watching and I am able to relax without worrying I am going to be late.

What I do find strange is when people say that they are late for everything I just think how can you enjoy things. I mean if you are late for a film, show, theatre you are missing the beginning or disrupting people as you find your seats. Or all the stress of not leaving yourself enough time to get to the train station or airport and there is a hold up.
Same with meal invitations that say drinks at 7.30pm meal for 8.00pm and you turn up at 7.55pm, you have missed chatting to other people and are going straight into a meal.

Being punctual can make you more relaxed and less flustered.

Clearly I understand there are times when it can't be done and the different stresses some famlies are under, but I am talking in general terms.

Well done Strongest! :) apologies for the cliche but it really does show that with some determination and advice you can achieve something you never thought possible.

One thing I remember from a super nanny type show was a visual wall chart thing - pictures on a laminated poster of breakfast, teeth, shoes etc. each child had a little 'playing piece' which they stuck on with blutack and moved along each time they did the next bit of the list - like a race! Perhaps you could adapt this for you to use too, with pictures for getting bags/clothes ready the day before?