People who are late for school every day or almost every day.

[MrsJAlfredPrufrock]

Why don't you just get up 15 mins earlier?

That would really annoy me DaisySteiner. What a selfish family!

Reminds me of when people are late to get on a plane and the plane is delayed whilst they are called and then the late family will just saunter on, chatting and laughing, as if there has been no inconvenience for anyone else!

I used to be late about 50% of the time. We moved a long way from the school (but kept him in the school for various reasons) the journey could take twenty minutes on a good day or over an hour on a bad day. It was from one end of our Town to the other, which would vary on the traffic and timings were almost irrelevant. I used to think I was rubbish, until DS moved to a closer school and we can now walk. We are on time every day and I feel so much better about it.

Still rush like crazy in the mornings though. So I think that the solution for the majority of parents who are late is just get up earlier, there are some exceptions to the rule.

bubby64 that's a lovely thing you did for that mum.

Have a bunch of

I think many parents don't think about how distruptive it is both for the child and for the teacher and other children.

eg Parent brings in two children late maybe a reception child and a yr2. Children get signed in - receptionist desptaches older child off to class and takes younger one to reception.

Older child's class have gone to assembly, he has to sort out his coat and bag, probably by himself and then take himself off to assembly and be mortified because he has to go in when everyone is quiet and all eyes are on him. Otherwise he might hide in the loo until they come out. Teacher then has to fill him in on anything he's missed and also make the kitchen aware that he's on school dinners and they need an extra meal.

Reception class child is accompanied to class - receptionist helps him off with his coat (maybe that's why there's no-one manning the desk and the phone is ringing off the hook) Deposits child in class. Class have already started group work and child has to catch up/teacher has to go over things again. Or activities have been given out and he has to go do one that isn't of his choosing. And he can't be with his friend and his friend decides that because he's always late he'd prefer to be friends with another boy anyway. And the teacher has to call cook who needs to add another meal.

And both children have to answer the inevitable why are you late, again questions.

The receptionist arrives back at the office and oh look here's another couple of latecomers......

DaisySteiner - I would raise that with the school - because the school buses around here certainly don't wait. If they can see child running up in the mirror, then they might wait 30 secs - but certainly not 5 minutes - I mean where does it end - they could be sat there all day waiting for a child who is not coming because they were ill, surely?

Actually Saggar, I did approach the school as I knew it was a problem. There were several other issues around schooling too, and the school really went out of their way to help DS and myself, the even offered to have a teacher collect him, but none of the teachers lived that far away from the school. They couldn't have been nicer about it.

I always felt terrible on the staff though, which is why I raised it, as I knew it would be disruptive to lessons/assemblies etc

I don't suppose school know that this family is continually late! A few years ago there were problems with the school bus turning up to the bus stop 5-10 minutes late every day, which has now improved, but I expect school think it's the bus's fault.

Mine and my friend's theory is that she just got used to the bus being 5-10 minutes late every day and has decided that was the time she will get there for! I probably will say something to school, I just need to pick my moment because if she got wind of it things could be quite unpleasant for me in the village I think.

I'm a bit like LeQ. I physically can't sit down for the evening unless the school clothes are ready, bags packed and lunches / breakfasts half-done with just extras from the fridge to pop in.

I think it stems from being a former lone parent and teacher. I had to get DD aged 2 months ready with nappies, wipes, sacks, bottles, changes of clothes, pushchair, sodding baby-walker and car-seat down four flights of stairs and into a taxi by half past seven. Along with all my work stuff. That was a logistical challenge.

Things are much better now. My autistic DS is NEVER late for his school bus. Not ever. But then that is because he hasn't ever once slept through in 4.5 years and is very fond of getting up at three or four in the morning for the day, so I have loads of time

Swings and Roundabouts...

I do think the only person who can teach you to be punctual is your mother, or another similarly close family member. Because all of those things - people looking at you in assembly, the receptionist coming and helping you hang your coat up, children not wanting to be your friend - you can get used to all of that. The not having friends thing, it's easy to not understand, to think that if they liked you they wouldn't mind you being late. As a habitually late person, I never mind if other people are late, it would be hypocritical. I think too, of course, you end up surrounded by other people who place less importance on punctuality so you create a community for yourself that supports you in your tardy habits.

daisy, the trick is to tell her you're going to complain first and if she hasn't improved after a week, follow through.

This whole British politeness thing is great sometimes, but this is disrupting your child's education and teaching them that you can do what you like and there will be no consequences.

Be the bolshy one! Tell her you're sick of it, don't get into an argument and if she continues to be late, tell someone at school.

IME schools are pretty accommodating if it's obvious that parents are doing their best and acknowledge the issues it can cause in school. No-one can legislate for the odd alarm issue, car trouble, late bus or stroppy child.

That said we regularly have up to 10% of our children late (about 25 - 30 children). It ranges from a few minutes up to an hour and some parents don't even offer an excuse - or worse - they shove the child in the gate and drive off. Most of those are late more than twice a week.

Why don't schools have sanctions for lateness? After all, they are preparing their children for life. I think all you punctual people are so mortified by being late, you don't really take on board that for us slackers it really doesn't enter our heads how much trouble we are causing. But I do know of employers who dock ten minutes pay for every minute late, because it costs money.

Sanctions are quite difficult really. You are possibly punishing the child for something they have no control over and that's not really fair. The poor bugger may already struggle to hang on to his social group and then has 10 minutes docked off his break.

If parents say that it's the child that makes them late then we may agree to a sanction but again that has an effect. Who is going to supervise the child indoors when his class is on the playground?

Repeated lateness can become an issue for the EWO though because if you are late way past registration then school can mark the child absent without authorisation for the whole session.

everlong, that would only help for people who thought having a theoretical absence mattered. I can see that would also lead to problems with non-attendance rates appearing over-high. It might be effective if someone was to gently talk to the parents about why is their child late and it causes this much trouble. And for parents who say their child threw a tantrum at 0828, or lost their socks or whatever, give them advice on what other parents do.

I have literally carried my daughter to school screaming and kicking and with nothing on her feet and put her socks and shoes on in the cloakroom - she only did that once, since then she realises I mean business. Sigh, I guess I will get flamed for how horrid a mum I am but I know that being late is the bane of my life, and if I can teach her to be on time her whole life will be better.

Winter - DS2 used to wake up at 3-4am for ages, but just in this last year he has started sleeping in until 5 or 6am. Bliss!!! (although he still wakes up in the middle of the night repeatedly )

I am completely not a morning person

I know being sluggish and grumpy in the morning doesn't make me unique, but I am exceptionally a night owl. Even when pregnant I would have morning sickness all day then suddenly ping with energy after 9pm

However, being late for school is very bad, and IMO it's an important life lesson for my children to learn that sometimes we have to work to a timetable not of our choosing

So I make the effort. Last night I ironed DD's school uniform at 1am because if I knew if I left it to the morning, it probably wouldn't get done - and DH wouldn't be around to do it like he normally does

Which brings me to my big tip - marry a morning person

Matches - I did that. Downside is he's far too cheerful and merry for me to cope with first thing in the morning.

really? I always thought it is just as well that neither of us is morning people - I think I would have murdered DH by now if he was all chirpy in the mornings.

This morning I was late taking dd to school. And. I wore my pjs. Well the top and slouch pants. She was meant to be there at 8:50 and arrived at 8:55. All the parents were walking past me. I could not give a flying fuck what they think. I am usually this kind of late.

Her dad on the other hand, is never late as he dislikes being late. He does give a flying fuck. He gets there 10 mins early.

She will learn her timekeeping skills from him. She will learn other skills from me.

stealth - you are quite right, it is torment, sometimes, having to deal with morning people. Worst is my Dad - family holiday years ago, on a sodding narrowboat, he wakes us all up at hideous o'clock, bustling around the boat with a spring in his step, crying 'Good Morning! The more it rains, the more fun it gets!'.

He lied. It didn't.

peoplesprincess - i have one like that, we set it up so he got himself dressed before he came downstars. We talked about it for a few days before, how things would change and that before he could wake me up he would be dressed, but made it into a really big exciting thing because he was so grown up.

we used to be late everywhere but had to sort it for school. Now I get everything ready night beforeleave it out for him, tell him where it is and remind him really positively about it.

And when he does it make a really big deal about it, when he doesnt I dont get cross just whisper 'opps you've forgotten something. dont worry I'll pretend to be asleep' and let him go back and get dressed.

Honestly so much better, he used to scream and hit us and never get dressed.

we also start getting ready to leave 5 mins before we need to,

changed my life, now get all 4 of them off no worries.