People who are late for school every day or almost every day.

[MrsJAlfredPrufrock]

Why don't you just get up 15 mins earlier?

edam & stealth - hmm, maybe I've been shortchanged on the DH-being-a-Morning-Person thing: he's not chirpy in the mornings, veering more on the slightly grumpy side tbh. But he does bring a cup of coffee and some fruit first thing as he knows without that, I suffer from what he tactfully refers to as 'low blood sugar'.

My former flatmate from 18 years ago still talks about how I used to just grunt in the mornings

I used to be habitually late to work when I was younger and childless. Then I grew up. It's a very selfish and rather self-destructive habit to have, but I do constantly have to ride my own ass in order to make sure I'm on time. It doesn't come naturally.

What should you do when your toddler poos on the way out of the door? Stay and change him making you late for the school run or leave him in the pooey nappy, risking nappy rash.

I'm the most disorganised person going, honestly I'm crap. If I can manage to drag my sorry ass with two small school children out of the house at 8.20am in time to get to school though, anyone can.
Pees me right off when people who live literally 2 minutes walk from the school are late nearly EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Lazy feckers.

hazie what do you think? :)

obviously you change him.

Toddlers don't regularly do that, it would be a valid reason to be late.

pavlov you are able to pull it out of the bag when you want to though ...you make an effort with the H/work as that effects you

Your posts on this subject just seem selfish. :(

Currently right this second we are all ready for school, but dont have to leave for another 20 mins.

Constant lateness is just rude IMO and even ruder when no apology or explanation is given. We all get delayed from time to time, it happens, but when it does a simple sorry Im late but x, y or z happened. Fine fair enough, but when someone's late and its "meh" then that is just bad manners.

Feminine, my baby did go through a stage of doing that, even though I knew it was going to happen I couldn't really plan for it iyswim.

Thankfully he now poos at a more convenient time.

Pavlov - the thing about you having an issue with waiting. Can I assume it makes you a bit twitchy and you get to thinking that your time is precious and you shouldn't have to wait around for someone else?

Do you think that by being late you may be putting someone else in a similar position?

I know I've aimed this post at you and you're right it's not about you personally it's just a general question for latecomers. Someone mentioned bad manners before and I do think there is a degree of that because it's like saying 'my time is more important than yours'.

Though I hold my hand up to being anal about punctuality which I do get is probably just as annoying as constant tardiness!

I don't think it's helpful to be rude to people who are late, saying things like "how hard can it be?" and accusing them of thinking that their time is more important than others' time.

If you are habitually late, it's very extremely hard to change. You aren't just changing one habit, you have to reorganise your entire life. Making a packed lunch the night before, for instance, if you make a sandwich it will be grim 12 hours later. So you have to think what can you make that will still be palatable. That's just one thing, every little detail has things to think about.

As far as keeping people waiting goes, for myself I can often be thinking I absolutely have to be on time and just take far too long. Other times I can only understand very theoretically what the problem is.

For instance, I arranged to go to a museum with a friend. I planned to be twenty minutes early but as usual got there 40 minutes late. She was cross, but why? It's a lovely museum and there was loads to see, we had planned to stay all day.

Similarly with work, I used to work at a place with a rigid 0830 start. I was in at 0835 every day. It drove me and my boss and my coworkers nuts. Except the days I had a month end or a special when I was in at 0700 until 2200.

If someone can explain, politely, what it is about being late in these last two cases that is a problem, that would really help me to be on time.

Seriously Strongest Mummy, you kept a friend waiting for 40 minutes and can't understand why she was cross? I would be cross! She made the effort to be there on time and had to hang around with no idea for how long.

And people being late for work is just annoying. It just is.

Seriously Strongest Mummy, you kept a friend waiting for 40 minutes and can't understand why she was cross? I would be cross! She made the effort to be there on time and had to hang around with no idea for how long.

And people being late for work is just annoying. It just is.

If you wanted someone to help you explain politely, perahps you could have asked politely - by using the traditional term 'please'?

I'm a bit shocked that you can't see what the problem is with being late in those two instances, but I will explain.

Museum -

I spend a lot of time on my own. I could go and walk around a museum by myself if that's what I wanted, but if I choose to meet up with a friend, then I'm doing so for both the company and the activity. I'd want the companionship of chatting with someone as we went around together - you don't get this by yourself, even if there is a lot to see. I wouldn't mind if it was a rare occurrance, but if you were continually late for me then I'd be cross. Sometimes, I'd much rather make the meeting time 40 mins later than be on my own for that time. I'd rather use that 40 mins doing something of MY choosing - not agreeing to do one thing then finding that someone else is effectively unilateraly, and without prior notice, changing the plan to suit them.

It would also leave me in a predicament - I wander round for 40 mins, you turn up and later want to look at the parts I'd already seen. Do I do it a second time and be bored and resentful that I'd rather be spending the time doing something else, or do I tell you no, sorry, do that on your own after I've left - and risk looking petty.

Or I could go and have a coffee. But maybe I've budgeted for that day, and having a coffee on my own means I can't then have a coffee with you later.

Work -

You said it's a rigid start time. You signed a contract agreeing to the company hours. It is legally not your right to effectively change the terms and make your start time different. Doesn't matter whether it's 5 mins. A rigid time is often there for a reason - because the business needs to run to certain times. It pissed a lot of parents off at my DD's old nursery when some staff were consisently late, because some of us wanted to physically hand our babies over to someone, yet staff weren't there to do that to. Which also meant that staff:children ratios were not as they were supposed to be.

Sure, you make up the time by staying late. But it's selfish to unilaterally decide to think that because you do overtime, that makes up for your consistent lateness. It doesn't - they are two separate issues.
Working overtime does not (necessarily) mean that you are at work at 8:30am as is expected of you, so it does not compensate. If everyone decided to come in late, it might have a really negative impact on the smooth running of your workplace. If you really can't make it in on time, why at least not try and negotiate an 8:35pm start with your employer?

Well in your first case it was unfair to leave your friend hanging about waiting for you for 40 minutes, I would have been a bit cross too. She may well have been able to use those 40 minutes to do something else but instead she had to stand about doing nothing apart from wait for you.. I would say that was rather unkind to your friend.

With work if you have an 8.30 start you should be there ready to start work at that time so I can understand why your boss and co-workers were mad. I have to admit though that before I was married and had children I would normally turn up 5 minutes late for work but that was because I was a lazy cow who hated getting out of bed in the morning! I am always on time for work now though as I go straight from dropping the children at school (on time)

We have a friend who is always late. Always. So we have just developed the strategy of arranging to meet an hour earlier than we need to so they might just about turn up at the right time. Strange thing is that she has run a series of successful businesses and is extremely wealthy. I am guessing that she didn't acheive that by being regularly late so we just have to assume it's just 'friends' that she doesn't care about being late for. There's a lot of shared history and we love her dearly and wouldn't be without her in our lives. So I resist the temptation to tell her how irritating and selfish it seems that she cannot value our time as highly as she values her own.

I used to be at DS1 best friend always being late for school.
They live four houses away from the schoolwhich is in a quiet cul de sac. School started at 8.55a, and everyday when we walked past at 8.45am the curtains would be closed. Once the bell had gone and we would be walking back the mother, and in later years just the son would be running past us to get to school.

However when we went out for a drink or a meal with the parents we could guantee we would get a text saying 'sorry, running late, will be with you in 15 (20, whatever minutes!)' Always every single time.
We missed the start of films, trains taking us to the next town, late for reservations.

In the end we gave up which was a shame because they were good company (when they got to us!!)

(No SN, no MH issues or anything like that just disorganised)

We had an arrangement at one point where they were supposed to pick up to take to cubs and we would bring home (or vice versa) but DS at the age of 8 begged me to drop the arrangement because he was embarrassed at always going in late or being the last two to go home keeping the leader waiting to lock up.

If someone can explain, politely, what it is about being late in these last two cases that is a problem, that would really help me to be on time.

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Honestly?????!!!

StrongestMummy: "You aren't just changing one habit, you have to reorganise your entire life. Making a packed lunch the night before, for instance" well yes - like everyone else has had to do in order to fit in a working life plus children.

If I was meeting someone who just casually left me waiting for 40 mins with no good reason, explanation or texts to explain, I wouldn't bother to meet them again. Basically behavipur like that says 'I am in charge of our time together, you are dancing to my timetable'. And the work thing - unless there is a reason why 8.35 is achievable and 8.30 is not, (like the journey time from school drop off) then that 5 mins just says 'I can't be arsed to fulfill my contract / start work ready to go alongside the rest of my colleagues'. I think it's fine for you to make assumptions if you solely work and socialise with other people who operate as you do.

Two families are late every single day in DS's class: one a mother who has multiple issues and problems and barely fiunctions - SS are involved, and one who is a CM. She is delayed day after day by parents being late for the drop off at her house, and there is a knock on effect.

I don't usually mind if a friend is 10 minutes late, but if you kept your friend waiting 40 minutes without an explanation, of course she will be pissed off with you, SeriouslyStrongestMummy. That is rude. Would you really not mind if she did it to you? Chabces are she will as that is how some people cope with people who are always late.

I hate being late for school. I just feel that it is my responsibility to get them there on time. My secondary age kids get themselves up and ready on their own. I am very disorganised in general, hate getting up early and often get very little sleep but have managed it on the whole over the last 12+ years with 5DC even when I had newborn twins in tow and had to walk over a mile 6 times a day. But I still wouldn't judge those who struggle. I have several friends who are late EVERY single day. Usually they are late for things like cubs, swimming lessons etc too. I actually sympathise with them as know how hard it is getting kids out in the am. What helps me is doing everything at night-lunches, clothes, letters signed etc. I also often wash my hair at nights too so I don't have to wash it in the morning.

Thinking about it, its not the actual lateness that bothers me, its the whole I-dont-care-if-Im-late attitude that some people seem to have. Also why do these people assume those of us who are usually on time think we are constantly clock watching and stressing about the time. I hate to be late and will always have a reason and an apology if I am late, but I dont get all uppity about the time, I just know how long it takes me to do something and get it done in that time. This morning I got up at 7 because I knew what needed doing and knew that gave me enough (more than enough as it turns out) time to do everything and get DS to school for 8:50. There was no right we need to have breakfast by this time, get dressed by that time etc.

Strongestmummy I am horrifed that you would keep your friend waiting for 40 minutes int he first place but also that you don't understand why she would be annoyed you. Are you serious? You are saying to her that her time is not important to you and effectively that she is not important to you. Bet she never arranges anything like that with you again. You said "as usual, I was 40 minutes late" so obviously this sort of thing happens all the time. I am speechless!

feminine re homework - i have 5 days to help dd with it though...that is quite a long time. it is never ever done on monday mornings

pavlov you do make me though.

What a poor excuse about not making lunches the night before!

There are hundreds of thousands of parents (and non parents for that matter) who make sandwiches the night before and have done for years! How can you possibly say that making them the night before makes them taste naff 12 hours later?