To love the lovely lovely c-section bliss

[mummyanonymous]

Natural labour: bad
Major abdominal surgery: good

Three natural births - first traumatic and horrifically painful, second much much better and only 2.5hrs, third - amazing, second stage recorded as two minutes, only in hosp 20minutes before actual birth and no pain relief whatsoever. Slight complication after, and very shocked mum and baby but nothing serious. Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of an epidural, cs or catheter but that's because I'm a big wimpy baby! :)

I checked back on this thread to see if it was any less weird.

Having read the OP's subsequent posts, I can see it isn't

hazeyjane like I said I have had nothing else to compare.

scotsgirl23 Your cs and recovery sounds a lot, , if not near indential like mine.

to mine (my keypad stalled for a minute there)

Fair enough, Ample, it just seems a bit daft to say it all depends on your pain threshold, when it clearly doesn't. It depends on a countless number of different factors, including the surgeon, the health of the baby, the way you body reacts to anaesthetic etc. The same woman can have 3 sections and react differently to each one. I'm afraid I just don't believe in a set pain threshold - it all depends on the circumstances on the day.

Yanbu OP

Had both at same hospital

VB hideous , thought baby & I would die , scar bigger than c sec , aftercare awful , 3 days I'm hospital then re admitted 5 days later, on a disguising ward. felt shit for months and needed ADs, couldn t have sex for about a year , thought I would poo myself constantly

C section , watched Jeremy Kyle in bed before ( ready for flaming) spoke to consultant before ( same who had done prior appointments , private room , superb care from all staff , home on 2nd day, felt great 7 days later ( actually like myself again) , no bleeding and sex within a fortnight. No hoovering for 3 months - bliss

The main difference is the NHS care was LOADS better for c section , and I needed that care with my VB.

After a pretty unpleasant natural birth the first time. All 9lb 5oz of him (ouch)! I was petrified the second time around and had an elective c section. In comparison the actually birth experience was blissful! Did it hurt like hell after? It certainly did but given the choice I'd take stitches across my abdomen anytime. At least I could sit down, go to the loo etc!

OP it's great news that your experience of an emergency cs has turned out to be such a good one, but apart from sharing that opinion and your experience ( which you haven't really done) what is your point?

You really seem to be here on the wind up, why?

I so agree, OP.

My section was a lovely, lovely experience. I would never in a million years consider a VBAC. I can't for the life of me see why I would!

The op did drop a pretty effective bomb!

A scar bigger than a c-section! Really?! Surely there wouldn't be enough room!

In all honesty my EMCS has put me off from having anymore children. I agree with the other poster who said it doesn't at all feel like 'somebody doing the washing up' inside you- I felt like I was being pulled apart and was in real pain during and after. Recovery was horrendous, which made looking after my baby twins rather difficult. But I may have had complications or as bad an experience with a vaginal delivery and the most important thing is that my twins were delivered safely and that I eventually recovered.

HJ - I should never have looked it was horrendous , not cut or stitched correctly ( requested notes afterwards) and got infected.
Trust me the c section scar is a doddle

it is impossible to say one is easier than the other, every birth is completely different. I've had a nice vaginal delivery, and bloody a painful one (9lb7). My caesarian did feel like washing up, but the pain after was a lot worse than with vaginal and I had back aches for a year or so after at the site of the epidural.

I personally think a lot of it is all down to how calm you can stay during labour, and nothing to do with pain thresholds. As soon as panic sets in, it bloody kills! I think if I ever had to give birth again I'd hire a doula to keep me calm.

I had nuffink for DS1, not even paracetamol...though they did give me the (unconnected)G&A mask to bite down on while they did an emergency episiotomy (v.fast precipitate labour ending in shoulder dystocia)

DD2 was an even faster delivery, 1.5 hours start-to-finish, with a few puffs of G&A to take the edge off crowning.

Oh no hazeyjane I don't think it's daft at all... being that it is my opinion and based on my own experience. Should I have another birth - vbac or cs, I know I shall get through the humps and bumps of it because I get through painful circumstances well.
I'm not saying any delivery is a doddle.

Feeling a little broody and that I haven't had more birth experiences tbh. Note to self: must get cracking on that

I think a planned section is pretty much always going to be less 'unpleasant' than a vaginal birth in the sense that it's more predictable and involves only a fraction of the amount of pain. Particularly when the v/b experience is of a difficult or poorly managed labour.

But I still think the experience of going through labour can be absolutely life changing in a good way - and not just because you get a baby at the end of it.

My knowledge of who I am and what I'm capable of changed forever after I gave birth. Labour showed me that I had very deep reserves of strength that I hadn't been aware of before. And in my adult life that's given me a lot of confidence.

It's great that you feel like that shagmund, it shows the whole variety of feelings people can have around childbirth and the positives that can come of it... apart from the one (or more!) big positives!

Personally I had two sections, one emergency and one elective and my only regret is that I didn't have an elective section on my first (which, as it turns out, would've been more beneficial for my child). That's me though. I have the following traits as a person:

• Hate and dread pain, go thru a lot of stress thinking about potential pain,

find anything invasive incredibly hard, e.g. smear tests

• Like to feel in control of my own surroundings, do not like unexpected and

chaotic situations forced on me that are not of my own making

• I am organised and like to have things planned

So basically, looking at it now though it didn't occur to me then, my personality type is actually much more suited to a managed birth. Both sections were v good experiences, and apart from some manageable pain in the few days after, I got over them quickly.

The last trimester of my first pregnancy was more or less ruined by my dread of labour.

I totally understand where op is coming from, but each to her own, nobody is obliged to agree!

Hmm, planned sections are probably more relaxed in that you're in somebody else's capable hands and not actually pushing the baby out yourself with all the risks and complications that entails but I have been lucky enough to have two v-bacs with absolutely no problems, no drugs, no scars or stitches and been up and about within hours, completely back to normal within days and know that wouldn't have been the case for me with a c-section. Whatever gets you through, I say. Glad your birth went well.

Hell - I'm a terrible pessimist and a worrier and was very preoccupied with the thought of labour too, especially with my second and my third.In some senses the birth was hugely positive inspite of myself. And it's good to know that you can take a chance, go out on a limb, and the universe can smile benignly on you.

I think in modern life we're encouraged to try to take control of everything and to fear pain beyond anything.

The experience of letting go of any hope of control can be a very humbling and humanising thing.

i do agree with shagmund that a lot of our self esteem can be catalysed by hard, life changing, stressful, painful events. if we come out of them feeling we discovered inner strength, then that's a powerful argument in favour of a natural birth

i think i'm pretty 'strong', for want of a better word, for bfeeding til three years, through pregnancy and tandeming, never using a pram with either child (just not fond of them really) and other aspects of parenting i get up to. i admit that both planned sections bypassed the pain of a natural birth (i have other, deeper reasons, part of which are rape related) and i will always wonder what i've missed out on. but that doesn't at all detract from the fact that i enjoyed both experiences, felt safe (again, rape issues) and in control and although the first section was for frank breech, i made the right decision i think not to vbac the second.

i can see that having come through something cataclysmic, feeling stronger than before, may make you proselytize for the cause.

butcan youimagine if i came on here saying "i think all mothers should try to breastfeed for x years -- i found pools of strength i never knew i had, it made me feel so capable", i'd be hounded out of town!

i can se both sides. but i don't think i've dodged a major part of motherhood. what's a few hours in the face of a lifetime's parenting. even if those few hours were amazing.

what is weird is that i don't mind pain that much. the decision wasn't really to do with pain. more to do with feelings of safety, which run deep with me for a varietyof reasons.

I suppose everyone has reasons for different things they do. I don't ever wonder what a natural birth would be like. I still clench my fanjo even thinking about it or seeing it on tv etc and feel I totally dodged a bullet.

There are definitely lots of things I've faced (not pain-related but things I dreaded or things that were just an awful experience) which have built my character but I also think there's no shame in saying 'xyz is just not for me and I'm happy never to do it'.

Sorry to hear about what you went through otch :(