to be wary of joining the PTA?

[WannabeNigella]

I would really love to help and support the PTA at DS's Primary School but keep hearing horror stories of bossy committee members, once you're in you'll never get out and basically of it being pretty hellish. (Not at his school but of PTA Committee's in general).

Should I steer well clear or AIBU and should I get stuck in and support?

I think that the best thing would be for all PTAs to stop work immediately and I can guarantee that parents wouldn't like it!!

When they started, years ago, they produced the 'extras' but now they provide essentials. Sadly a lot isn't apparent and would only be glaring obvious if they stopped.

I'd follow the advice to look at the people on the PTA and see if you could work with them ok - I've had both, a country school PTA which was run by a bunch of cliquey mafia mums who I avoided like the plague and my current one which is fine if mildly irritating occasionally.

As a halfway house could you volunteer to help just in one area and see how it goes? It is worthwhile if it goes well.

They serve a great function in that they give parents something to moan and whine about which in itself serves as a good bonding mechanism .

Depends who is on it ours is great very inclusive run by a professional who happens not to work for personal health reasons who manages it all beautifully and bends over backwards to make it not cliquey/exclusive. And not a fleece in sight. Don't see any of the parents complaining about their happy children playing on the fantastic state of the art play equipment that the PTA paid for...

I am on the PTA and find that communicating with other parents is difficult. We send out paper newsletters but I am sure that most of these go into the bin. Does anyone have experience of using the school website to communicate with other parents? We were wondering about having our own part of the school website that would operate on mobile phones. Has anyone done that? We were thinking that most parents have mobile phones and this would be a good way of keeping them up to speed. We were looking at something like this www.mobileschoolwebsites.com/news.html which seems to allow the PTA to post messages directly. Has anyone done this? Any other ways which PTAs keep other parents in the loop without using paper?

It sounds like PTA committees are mostly women.

I was looking forward to meeting loads of sexy hands-on (!) dads....

sorry haven't read abosolutly all the thread , but remember it's about giving something back and being part of the school community.

My DS year 5 is quite sad now, " mum you don't do the Friends anymore, why ? " children seems to like to see their parents involved in their school .

I've done my bit over the last 5 years so although I'll always help like manning/ baking for the cake stall at the May fair - eg 2hours on a Saturday - i don't want any more responsibilty as I'm returning to work shortly .

Being any ex committe member - treasurer - because no one else would do it and they were desperate !

However we did get disheartened when parents couldn't even bring themselves to volunteeer to be on a stall for half an hour ....or help clear up for half an hour after the summer family BBQ!

I find it sad that people are always looking at the negative and the worst case scenario ...

Maybe the best idea is attract some men and get away from the image given on here. When I was on the PTA the chair was a man and we had 2 other men-it doesn't have to be women.

Well said

I don't volunteer on the PTA as I don't have time but I am friendly with one of the mum's who is one of the "Queen Bee's". She is very nice though. In the last couple of years I have helped out at some of the fayres which I know the PTA are always grateful for. However, I would never officially volunteer, I prefer to give my time on an ad hod basis. Could be something to consider as you would still be supporting the school.

At least there are lots of other things you can do without joining the PTA. I've found helping in the classroom (not my DD's as they tend not to invite helpers for reception in her school) much more fun than my role in the PTA; as well as not needing me to socialise with other mums it means I get to see more of the workings of the school and get to know the teachers more.

It can be awful and it can be good. Sometimes within the same committee meetings. Really honestly, when we come down to it, there are usually four people who do most of the work and decision making and lots of people who are roped in (sometimes literally) to help.

And everyone resents someone on the committee. Except the chair, who is utterly bonkers.

I agree with what most posters here have said: that you should give it a try and see what it's like. I'm on the PTA at my DD's school and as far as I know most committee members are actually working mums and they're a really nice bunch. When I went along first it was just as a member and not a committee member, so I didn't feel obliged to go to absolutely every meeting. It took me a while to get the hang of things but now I'm treasurer and I'm really happy to be doing something for the school.

We have a mailing list of people who don't want to come to meetings but are willing to offer their time to help at events occasionally - you could suggest something like that for your school (always good to go in with some fresh ideas).

How can One try it if it's only run during school time,to suit the housewives?
The PTA mammies need an attitudinal change.big time

If you don't get involved that's fine. No one should be coerced if they aren't interested.

But don't stand at the gate and moan when the add ons the PTA enable stop happening.

And can you see a theme from others here,PTA ran In school time.not accommodating to time constraints of working parents. It's recurrent theme, PTA rigid in times of meets exclude potential participants.

Why so bitchy about 'SAHM's seeking validation'? I don't care who they are they have raised literally thousands for our school for the things that the children simply wouldn't have had otherwise.

Ours certainly doesn't have daytime meetings - the school staff couldn't be involved in these (and they are).

I would like to get involved when my children are a bit older.

Go for it. Make a difference don't sit here complaining about the failings of the PTA as others have.

SM that is one of the things I love about out PTA.
meetings are at 7.30pm we have some stuff we do straight after school ie cake sale. But we also do alot of our fundraising things in the evenings and weekends.
A couple of the things that we do are run by working parents because there are no time constraints, ie bags to school and yellow moon and the giving machine.

What I woud love to know is how some PTA's raise £30,000 we thought we did well at £7-8,000

Scottismammy you could stand for Chair at the next AGM and reorganise the meetings as your first Agenda item.

You could always go to a meeting and see what you think. The people who are involved should all want to achieve the same thing - for their children and their children's school. All same agenda so why all the bitchiness?

No one is bitching emerald.clearly you're uncomfortable or it touches nerve hearing others PTA experience not so peachy

I've been secretary of the PTFA (we have grandparents actively involved in our school as well as parents) for the past couple of years & am co-chair this year, so we can split the work. I work & study, plus volunteer when I can fit it in. We meet once a term, hold 2 big fayres, a disco each term, plus other events. We have lots of willing volunteers for all our events & raise several thousand pound a year to benefit all the children. If it was me, I'd volunteer at an event to suss out how you feel, but do be aware that if it's a big event, the chair person may be stressed on the day.

Scottishmummy I meant why are PTA's bitchy? Tis a shame if they are, that's all

Apologies, I misread
You're right it's shame it's as cliquey and divisive as it is