Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

to be wary of joining the PTA?

139 replies

WannabeNigella · 23/01/2012 13:16

I would really love to help and support the PTA at DS's Primary School but keep hearing horror stories of bossy committee members, once you're in you'll never get out and basically of it being pretty hellish. (Not at his school but of PTA Committee's in general).

Should I steer well clear or AIBU and should I get stuck in and support?

OP posts:

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 24/01/2012 16:25

OP - I think you know if you're a joiner or not. If you're a joiner go for it. If you're not give it a wide berth.

exoticfruits · 24/01/2012 16:47

I come across people, elderly men in particular, who say 'I'm not a joiner' as if it is a superior badge of office! I think to myself 'well if you were you would have a much nicer time!'

Ragwort · 24/01/2012 16:53

Greenshadow - no, I agree with you that I don't particularly like meeting in pubs but that is what our PTA does, personally I would prefer to meet in the school - and agree that times should be alternated.

I've also heard the expression 'I'm not a joiner' exoticfruits - most often from people who don't seem to have any friends .

If people really don't want to join a committee but are happy to help out at events most PTAs would be delighted to have a list of people that they can call on to help with specific things.

Greenshadow · 24/01/2012 16:59

Agree Ragwort. PTAs couldn't function without occasional helpers who don't attend meetings, but are available for fetes/to serve teas etc.

Northernlurker · 24/01/2012 17:01

I wouldn't go anywhere near it. But I'm grumpy and busy and grumpy

SecondhandRose · 24/01/2012 17:06

Go for it, some of my best friends come from my committee days either NCT or PTA.

ArseWormsWithoutSatNav · 24/01/2012 17:30

I find it quite hard being on the PTA, mainly because it is quite small and most of the other members have been there a long time. I do feel a bit like I'm not listened to. Some are leaving this year though so then I will be one of the veterans.

I help in class too, I volunteered to do numeracy specifically so I was snapped up, and I love it. I prefer it to the PTA stuff by far.

PopcornBiscuit · 24/01/2012 17:35

I don't like all the generalisations that come up on committee threads. (Funny how people usually assign themselves a label that they think is positive!)

Of course "doers" are needed but I think we do also need people who think, have ideas, consider things wisely. Yes there are people who may seem to be moaning but actually it can be useful to point out shortcomings if it leads to fresher, new, better ideas.

Not everyone is the same and that is where the strength of a committee lies.

There's no point having thinkers without doers, but "doing" without thinking/assessing/researching isn't much use either.

scottishmummy · 24/01/2012 19:05

There are so many shared generalisms because we've all enountered the icy pta who only meet in school hours and have a certain,ahem,manner about them

BettyBedlam · 24/01/2012 19:17

Ooh, issues, AlphFemale? You sound bitter - or maybe being a working mother is proving too much for you?

scottishmummy · 24/01/2012 19:22

Whom are you addressing?peruse any PTA thread same anecdotes pop up,same generalisms.because its a shared experience of many.as demonstrated on this thread

If PTA wasnt so stereotypical therewouldnt be a dearth of threads about PTA types

Alphafemale · 24/01/2012 19:36

Oh no, no issues! I've just encountered some real PITAs on PTAs.

smilesy · 24/01/2012 20:02

I joined the PA of my DS' primary school when I split up from exH and moved 100 miles away. It was a good way to get to know other mums and what was going on behind the scenes at school! I agree that there must be bitchiness on some committees but you won't know unless you try it and you can walk away...

mewkins · 24/01/2012 20:12

My mum has been on a PTA of a school for the last 25 years or so and is still involved in raising money for my old senior school...I am now 33!!! She has really enjoyed it as it's a chance to organise fun activities and provide equipment and new facilities in an inner city school. Dd is only a toddler but I hope to get involved once she is at school... and I'm not a control freak or someone with too much time on their hands- honest!

herhonesty · 24/01/2012 21:28

why dont you become a school governor instead, most governing bodies have vancancies, and its a very, very rewarding role.

btw beddybedlam that was quite a bitchy remark in itself.

meredeux · 24/01/2012 21:34

To all those who say you can walk away... in my case that was easier said than done!

The chair and deputy chair were bitchy bullies and they clearly disliked me but when i tried to resign, they treated me like I'd betrayed them

LadyWord · 24/01/2012 22:07

exoticfruits... "I come across people, elderly men in particular, who say 'I'm not a joiner' as if it is a superior badge of office! I think to myself 'well if you were you would have a much nicer time!'"

The reason you think that is because you are a joiner! Honestly for some people doing things in a group is hard work - people are different. I hasten to add I don't go around declaring "I'm not a joiner!" - but it is not true that if everyone would just jolly along, join in and make an effort to be chummy it would all go swimmingly. I know I couldn't do it because I'm too opinionated and autocratic and I loathe meetings.

(Let me run the whole thing on my own though - that I might consider... :o)

WetAugust · 24/01/2012 22:11

Ghastly clique of SAHMs at Ds's school who actively shunned the working mothers and held Committee meetings during the school day. The sole SAHD was even worse!

When the working mothers wanted to start an after school club they did everything within their power to scupper it.

Wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Pinkflipflop · 24/01/2012 22:18

Can you move to my school please?!! I am the Chair of the PTA in our school and it consists of 5 (yes 5) people who run themselves ragged trying to do everything whilst still teaching/working full time.

A small school but the apathy towards PTA is widespread.

ArseWormsWithoutSatNav · 24/01/2012 22:43

At my school the PTA chair is also a governor. And she's the lunch lady.

exoticfruits · 24/01/2012 22:50

All very well LadyWord if you are happy not joining. I mentioned the elderly men (my uncle being one) and they are lonely and don't know what to do with themselves and then they chirp up 'well I'm not a joiner' as if this is superior and it is a weakness to join anything!
There are a lot of women on here who say they are lonely, have no friends and can't relate to women at school. I always advise joining the PTA!

Fair enough if you are not a joiner and don't want to get involved and are perfectly happy the way you are. I just wish such people wouldn't then moan about the PTA- as if they are power hungry, control freaks who wish to get their DC a main part in the school play-rather than people who can see a job needs doing and roll up their sleeves and get it done.-

Almostfifty · 24/01/2012 23:12

The reason we used to have PTA meetings in school was so that the Head and nominated teacher could come along without having to drag themselves back to the school in the evenings.

Or does no-one else actually have any of the teachers on their Parent Teacher Association?

AlfalfaMum · 24/01/2012 23:16

I've had experience of my kids going to a school with no PTA, and it was a bit shit because there no events organised, no after school activities for the kids, and no sense of community at the school.
My eldest's first primary school had a PTA, we organised amazing Summer and Christmas fairs, cake sales etc which made lots of badly needed money for the school, but which more importantly the kids loved.
The current school has a good PTA and I have got a bit involved and gone to meetings (which are pub-based thank fuck ) and it's okay. They organise stuf: comedy nights in a club for grown ups, school fairs, movie nights for kids, and really nice affordable after-school activities.

Bottom-line: I like that the school has a PTA and all the benefits that brings, so I'm happy to help out.

GettinTrimmer · 25/01/2012 07:52

I think our PTA may fold if new members don't come through I can understand how time is in short supply for working mums, my friends just say it's not their thing and don't want to get lumbered - but they are too happy to help me with stuffing envelopes or folding raffle tickets.

Does anyone have any ideas about how to attract new members? From some of the responses on here PTAs have a bad press.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 25/01/2012 08:27

I was walking home behind two PTA members at DD's school who spent 15 mins moaning about someone and a pint of milk. Swore then that PTA wasn't for me.

5 years later DS at school and I joined in a fit of pique at the school budget cuts and thought maybe instead of ranting maybe I should do something (a different school to the one DD was at). Approached the Head who had made the appeal for new members and was dispatched to speak to the Chair, didn't know who she was but found her eventually and joined.

What I hadn't realised was that most of the committee were leaving so this year we needed a new chair, vice chair and treasurer. There were 3 of us who were fairly new and had to agree to take on the roles or it would fold. Wasn't what any of us had intended but we're trying to make the best of it and take this as a fresh start and break down the barriers that existed. We've done things like a questionnaire to ask what people want, photos up so people actually know who we are, make sure that every person who sends a slip saying they can help at events are contacted (that never used to happen so people got fed up volunteering in the end).

I think it is slowly working . Last event we held we had more helpers than we needed, which is a first. Personally I'd say you'd like to come to a committee meeting to see what's involved and if it will fit round your existing commitments . Then if they seem OK, join. If not, run for the hills.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6