to think this mum is a bit bonkers!!

[Dartfordmummy]

Don't know if there is already a thread on this but am a bit about this story!!

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2089474/Its-boy-Couple-brought-child-gender-neutral-reveal-sex-The-Infant--keeping-secret-FIVE-YEARS.html

Poor Sasha

No thebest, it makes no sense, not literally as in the way it is typed, but because you are saying Well, what if in the future...

One can say that about any child brought up in any circs.

Whatevs?

Is she for real?

They could've just done all this without making a big hooha out of it though. Plenty of people bring up their DCs with a well balanced lifestyle, let boys play with pink stuff, limit/ban tv, and so on. Big. Fucking. Deal.

Telegraph link for the DM haters link

This couple are bizzare and warped if they think that bringing a child( in this case male) as gender neutral yet dressing him as a girl is right.

The family, from in Sawston, Cambs., were so desperate not to prejudice Sasha's life with gender they didn't ask midwives his sex until 30 minutes after he was born.

Now that's just weird denying it even from themselves.

I can imagine the scene...

Congratulations it's a ...

Shut up we don't want to know.

I give up.

Enjoy your prejudices.

'one can say that about any child brought up in any circumstances.'

Yes but don't we all try our best to lessen the risk of harm? Or at least I do.

Typing the word 'one' actually made me shudder. We don't start our sentences like that round here!

crabby They didnt let him be "different". They made him "different"

This wasnt his idea / choice.

Why shouldn't a person dress how they want?

Forget the DM spin.

So they encouraged him to play with dolls and wear dresses... To NOT gender stereotype. Errrr, why not got for neutral clothes and toys? Stil not sure why it was a secret though. I have met lots of parents who doesn't want to overly stereotype toys that their kids play with (so, I have seen lots of little boys with toy buggies) But it generally becomes a losing battle when they get older.

Not sure how I'd feel if I went back to DHs parents house when we first met and was presented with his first Barbie and photos of him in his Princess Dress.

Waiting for the book and film deals perhaps?

What pisses me off about things like this is that they are never "gender neutral" she basically dressed her boy up as a girl! I watched a tv programme about a couple with a girl and a boy and all they did was push pink dolls and fairy dresses onto the boy, no boys stuff onto the girl - what they're doing is trying to feminise they're sons!

That is not something you can influence IMHO, my son has some tendencies that would be classified as girls, but that is 100% natural as it is exactly how he feels like behaving, he has his fair share of boys toys and he also has a doll and a (neutral) dolls buggy, he loves to mix and match between the two "stereotypes" which is what little kids should be doing. I hate this culture of pushing girls stuff onto boys when sometimes it is clearly inappropriate, give them a well rounded base of options and let them pick and chose, don't say "your gender neutral, oh but you can only dress as a fairy and play with dolls, don't touch that action man that's so sexist" bullshit

I don't think it will have done him any harm. DM have chosen the most "shocking" pics - the ones of a boy in ACTUAL GIRL STUFF SHOCK HORROR HE MIGHT BE GAY!!!

Silly. Babies/ toddlers don't care what sex they are, pre-schoolers start coming under pressure to conform from adults as well as other children. Avoiding that pressure is a good thing IMO.

She wanted a girl and refused to believe she had a boy.

That's a whole lot of ishoos right there.

I could never persuade anyone to come round for coffee, they all thought I was mental. And she still thinks they're the weird ones? Fwiw, my four year old (boy) immediately identified him as a boy. And all the 'gender neutral' clothes in the pictures are pink

But none of our choices, expectations, etc etc are the child's choice, are they catgirl? We just don't think anything of it because they conform to our perception of the norm, and therefore we think that's the right thing to do.

I agree that if they just dressed him as a girl and gave him 'girlie' toys, then that would be skewed and pointless, but it doesn't sound as though that's what they did at all. Those are the pics the DM published because he's been revealed as a boy. If she'd been revealed as a girl, they'd have published all photos of her in boys clothes, playing with 'boy toys'.

Boys are fascinated with their winkies how did she get away with that one?

Perhaps i'm old fashioned and missing something?

I love how you all read one short article and presume to know this couples feelings and intent.

It couldn't possibly that the Daily Mail has its own slant and perhaps only showed a couple of pictures, when in fact there could be lots that don't have him dressed up as a fairy? Neither is it possible that y'all are biased by your own prejudices?

OK and DT spin for that matter. All papers are in trouble now because they make up crap. People want more than that, I think. People should feel able to dress how they like.

exactly Chunky. Let boys be boys and be glad whatever child you have.

I found James Dobson 'Bringing Up Boys' today. It was in my DS's room. Not sure why it was there. will ask him.

It was a very helpful book. I read it years ago.

YABU for only highlighting the mother.

They say the kid is happy, he's obviously dressed in a tutu for the picture to be as controversial as possible (and presumably wears "boys clothes" too), in general I don't really see the problem tbh.

But I do think he should wear boys' clothes at school, not because girls' clothes would intrinsically do any harm but because most people (including children) are fundamentally bigoted and narrow-minded, so there is potential for bullying.

Sam - yes they are, we all are, but isn't that all the more reason for us all to keep trying not to be, not just to give in to it? I understand not wanting to push some poor kid into the fray to be picked on, but even so.

I loathe the bullying excuse. Its trotted out by bigots for all kinds of things, like gay people shouldn't be parents because the kids will get bullied, and tosh like that. How about the crappy parents of the bullies are picked on instead, until we get rid of the culture of making everyone conform and not stand out, for fear of being bullied?

If your children, or you, can't accept a child who is different in some way, there is something wrong with you, not the different one.

Here here.

exotic - see? Your last post says it all. You want nice clear gender differentiation becausethat is what you are comfortable with.

Too right-I agree entirely. I have friends that I am comfortable with. DCs are the same they choose children they like-and they do have preferences at a very early age.

I don't believe that all these 'liberal' people on this thread would do it to their own DC and yet they don't mind Sasha having to cope with it.

I have DSs, they had a choice of toys, they dressed up in anything they wanted-I remember one liking clonking around in high heels. You can let them choose without denying them gender.

The social experiment that I would like to see would be a list of loony parents, and someone interviewing the poor DC who had to live with them in 20yrs time.

PearsBeaufort - I guess it depends how brave you are. I wouldn't mind for myself, but yes I would be hesitant about knowingly putting a 5 year old into a situation where I know s/he was more likely to be picked on

ParanoidAndroid - it's not an excuse. We don't live in an ideal world. I completely agree that we should aim to get rid of this culture and that it is the narrow-minded bigots that have something wrong with them, but how do we go about it? I'm not sure that putting a young child in a vulnerable position is the way to go