AIBU to hope to use dd's blue badge without getting snidey remarks?

[cupofteaplease]

Dd3 has a blue badge because she is on continuous oxygen which is quite bulky and cumbersome to manoeuvre in and out of the caring tight parking spaces.

I have only used a disabled space on a few occasions (we have only had the badge for a week) but on a couple of occasions I've had people tutting and eye rolling at me.

One lady even called out from her car, 'You don't look very disabled to me!'

I wasn't expecting this- was I naive or AIBU to hope to use dd's blue badge in peace?

Cup Sorry that some silly idiot challenged you. Disability doesn't come with a neon sign. How is Bea doing? I can't find new thread for her. I tend to lurk but think of you all often. Bless her big sister as good on your dh help her with a good retort.

Pagwatch also welled up at your ds, kids word things so clearly and truthfully

Bathsheba
May I ask, do you have a child with disabilities or disabilities yourself

I ask because I think it is one of those things that you simply can not understand unless you have experienced it.

That is not to deny your right to an opinion of course but unless you can imagine the effort of dealing with that every day it is difficult to explain just how trite a 'why can't you just be nice' suggestion.

The people you are talking about may have already spent several hours of planning and effort to get to the parking space. They may well be tired and stressed and girding themselves for the staring and the comments in the shop. And everything they will do that day may well be 10 times as hard as others find it.

So no. The onus should not be on the person with the blue badge to remain calm and polite in the face of what is more likely to be pious bigotry than civic duty.

And when your child gets stared at, when people shout retard as you walk him down the high street , being shy becomes a ship that has long since sailed.

Pag - I'd have hoped most people could understand sufficiently to not judge a situation on partial knowledge and then be gratuitiously rude. Or even politely officious.

My comeback suggestion would be 'Oh dear, should you be driving if you can't see well enough to spot a large oxygen cylinder?'

my late stepdad was in a wheelchair and therefore had a blue badge.
His best ever comment was "How does a disabled person afford an expensive car like that?" They should have seen the next one he bought! Non functioning legs did not stop him being a PLC director!

Just ignore the stupid remarks and use the spaces. You're absolutely entitled.

I wish I had to courage to reply to 'you don't look disabled' with a big grin and 'I'm not, but shhhh, don't tell anyone'. Then skip off merrily as their tiny brains explode.

Glitter the police sure can act on criminal damage in a private area. Sorry they would not help you.

That is a good article from Polly Toynbee as usual. Good on you for speaking out and fighting. What a disgraceful lie from Francis Maude.

Sorry for mini hijack OP.

glitter

The police couldn't act as it was private property.
why not - if it was criminal damage why would it matter where it happened? Maybe they don't deal with traffic violation type issues if its private, but a crime is a crime.

Ignore any such comments. Idiots feel gratified by a response. Treat it with the contempt it deserves.

Every time I am at the supermarket there are cars parked in disabled bays with no blue badge. It's incredible that someone would have a go when you are displaying a valid badge!

sadly it wont be the last time it happens :(
people are rude and i find old people are more likely to comment than any other group.
You do grow a thick skin to it, but doesnt stop it being hurtful :(

Just a thought. Perhaps some of these civic duty challengers spent the previous evening listening to their sister on the phone complaining about not being able to use a disabled bay due to abusers. Perhaps they think they are being supportive of their disabled nephew? I'm always aware of people seeming to misuse spaces because I know the problems it causes my PIL. never challenged anyone, though, and it doesn't excuse bad manners.

Bathsheba - it is none of your business to ask a person with a blue badge why they have it.

My sister has cystic fibrosis - she doesn't look disabled, she's not in a wheelchair, she can walk, she doesn't have an oxygen tank. But there are times when getting around the shop is about as much as she can cope with so being able to park close means the difference between being able to shop or not. Using her car also means that she's not exposed to the hundreds of potentially life threatening (to her) viruses that she would be on public transport.

i always assume that if they have a blue badge then they need a blue badge.

when I have sore hips/back and am limping back to the car i also thank my lucky stars that I am not (yet) so bad as to need a badge.

My db is paralysed from the waist down and drives a top of the range 4WD - paid and converted for use by himself - before anyone starts having a hairy fit about DLA - people automatically think that anyone driving a 4WD is an able bodied tosser taking up a disabled spot. Anyhow he loves the comments they make him feel able bodied & normal - he has fun with it and enjoys taking the piss out of them...as they watch him swing his wheelchair from the back of the car and perform a minor miracle getting from the car to the chair - then they go kind of quiet and shuffle off.

I've confronted a couple of people misusing disabled parking spaces, but only when I'm sure they don't have a blue badge.

If they do, you just have to assume that they have one for a good reason!

My DM once confronted a man parking in a disabled space as DB is a wheelchair user as she thought he was parking there with no disability. When he opened the car door he had a wooden leg! DM nearly died of embarrassment and couldn't apologise enough. Luckily the man was very nice and just said he knew how annoying it was when healthy people nabbed the spaces

We had a BB when DS was on oxygen, and I was just so grateful for it so as I could get DS plus tank and my wide arse out of my two door car. Never had anyone challenge me luckily, probably cos I was either muttering and swearing under my breath whilst trying to extract child, carrier and oxygen bottle with one hand (whilst car door simultaneously tried to trap me and remove any limb it could slam shut on), or smelt of vomit after DS had had one of his reflux episodes.

I was so glad when we didn't need it any more, walking those extra few feet is NOTHING compared to those days!

cupofbrownjoy, disabled does not auomatically mean ill or unhealthy!

I have a blue badge, I have never had anyone say anything to me ever! Maybe I look disabled lol!

Obviously I am aware of that, Fiendishlie, it was simply shorthand...

YANBU. Some people are so narrow minded.

cupofbrownjoy - your mum confronted someone before they'd even got out of the car? How could she possibly know that they weren't disabled if they hadn't even opened the car door yet?

I am not having a go I am just curious.

Oh, I believe it : Merc S Class in disabled bay used to cause a bit of eyebrows

JustHecate, she didn't know if he had a badge, she'd had enough of cheeky buggers I think and overreacted!

My DM can be a handful....

gallifrey, you must, I obviously look very undeserving, because I get it all the fecking time. Drives me batty.
In all seriousness though, I believe it is because I am overweight. So I
a) can't be 'properly' disabled, (frail and vulnerable?)
b) must just be too lazy to walk