AIBU to hope to use dd's blue badge without getting snidey remarks?

[cupofteaplease]

Dd3 has a blue badge because she is on continuous oxygen which is quite bulky and cumbersome to manoeuvre in and out of the caring tight parking spaces.

I have only used a disabled space on a few occasions (we have only had the badge for a week) but on a couple of occasions I've had people tutting and eye rolling at me.

One lady even called out from her car, 'You don't look very disabled to me!'

I wasn't expecting this- was I naive or AIBU to hope to use dd's blue badge in peace?

YABU for not expecting it. The verbal abuse can be horrific. I've been on the receiving end. I've also be shoved, spat on, hit and had my car beaten with a brolly.

Oh dear Cup of Tea, you have so much to cope with without ignorant people making such unpleasant comments. Try to ignore and carry on being such an amazing mum to Bea.

Oh dear Cup of Tea, you have so much to cope with without ignorant people making such unpleasant comments. Try to ignore and carry on being such an amazing mum to Bea.

LOTF - but, who died and made those who "challenge" it King Of The Car Parks?

cupoftea in our nearly 5 years of having a BB for DD2 we've had very few comments - which disappoints me really as I've got a stash of sarky comments just ready and waiting!

I think when you (generic you) first get your badge you are really selfconscious about using it and probably look a bit shifty - looking guilty when you pull into a disabled space as you feel you shouldn't really be there.

After a while you get used to having it and using it as you KNOW you are entitled to it and need it. So you sweep into the space and fling your badge on the dashboard, heave your child and the 27 tons of equipment out of the car and stride off pushing your child without a backward glance.

Bitchy comments from elderly men and women who assume that one must be old and/or wheelchair dependent to have a BB just deflect off your newly-thickened skin and you perfect a withering look as you pass them.

DS2 has a blue badge and we've had the looks but no comments so far. One of these might help, not that you should have to, people should keep their opinions to themselves.

WOrmy

Yes, it made me cry too. Often.

The first time he used it was in a Thorntons cafe. He climbed down off the stool and went over and handed it to tutting, eye rolling, staring woman. She read it all confused then left the shop, leaving her coffee.
I nearly felt bad (but not quite)

Unfortunately, because some people do misuse blue badges, the professionally-offended feel they have a right/duty to challenge anyone using one, and to feel good about how they are "helping" to stamp that sort of thing out. But when they do it by shouting at you from a moving car, they never actually get to understand the subtleties of the situation.

She's probably driven off in a smug fog of how wonderful she is for helping genuinely disabled people by challenging fakers, and has no idea that she's making a mum of a child with a disability feel like shit.

If you can face it, shouting back "No but my daughter is!" might be quick enough to actually sink through to people like that. You're not likely to have any chance of a proper conversation, as they never stick around to find out the details or apologise.

I must look scary because I have never had anything more than a stare, and DD can run too (in front of cars, hence the blue badge)

I would probably have shouted "and you don't look like a judgy bitch but clearly you ARE" at her

The worst I have had was a glare of absolute DEATH from a woman pushing a wheelchair, when we took the one disabled space left. This was at a play centre place which my DD loves so much she just sprints at high speed across the car park taking no notice of cars so we really do need to park beside the door, and she was having to push the wheelchair an extra few metres from the row behind. I think she thought we had no blue badge, sadly I did not see her face when she went past and saw that we did. It's a minefield.

I do have to recommend you move to Edinburgh though, people here, I have found, just tend to tut and glare but would never actually say anything to you about anything they are being judgy about, which is handy.

Pag the story about your DS and what he wrote on the cards actually made me tear up.
I never normally get all emotional about such things.

Shirley I don't challenge.
It's none of my business (unless I was at work and someone hogged the BB space who shouldn't do.Then I'd report them NHS clinic so BB spaces very scarce and vital).

I don't challenge with Parent & Child spaces but I know alot of people do.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately alot of my patients think the Daily Mail is gospel.

Pag. I've got tears in my eyes.

Blimey you lot...

Bouncy
Are you anticipating kits?

A friend of mine has a BB as he had a leg amputated (high up the thigh), he wears a prosthetic limb but walks with difficulty. Parked in a disabled space displayed blue badge, cue challenges from a passing older couple. Friend drops his trousers, asks "is this disabled enough for you" older couple disappear with very red faces!

No LOTF - I didn't say you did! I was pondering the unbelievable arrogance of someone to not only think "Hmm, they don't look disabled" but to then actually SAY it.

I find the argument that "a lot of BB abuse goes on" to be a load of BS TBH - Even if I saw someone park in a space and sprint from the car I still wouldn't bllody shout anything out. Because I'm not a) in receipt of every fact and b) a nasty twat.

Oh and YANBU, there are a lot of very pass-remarkable people out there who think they have the right to harass even though they have zero knowledge of that persons circumstances.

I watched 2 young men park in Disabled Bay at our shopping centre and sprint into the Sainsbo. I thought, Oh maybe they've gone to pick up their Grandad from the shop. But no, two minutes later they sprinted back and drove off.

I saw the same this week AND it was two RAF men in uniform... and yes they also so sprinted

I think there is abuse of Bb badges - not talking about being wrongly given out, just used when person it was given for was not in the car. My own family, to my shame and in spite of my challenging, routinely do this.

I had a BB for DS for the same reason until he kicked the oxygen habit. Noone ever said a thing. I must have perfected my 'don't fuck with me' London stare.

Ignore them. They are ignorant twats.

and? I'm sorry, I totally do not get this argument. There is abuse of the BB and therefore that makes it OK to shout out something nasty?

Even if you don't know whether abuse is actually occuring?

I don't get this self-appointed Blue Badge Police thing at all. Spaces that have disabled signs painted in them are not for me. I neither know nor care what other people do with them. You are justly entitled to complain if it's your space they've just snaffled, but as I am not a badge holder myself it is not and could not be my space, unless and until I ever qualify for one. Therefore I don't even look at who's getting out of a vehicle that's just parked in a place I wouldn't be parking in anyway. Isn't that, er, a quite healthy attitude, I hope?

shirley - I was not saying that! Another poster said they don't think there is abuse of BB's anyway. I said I know there is. But of course it is almost impossible to judge as a stranger if this is happening. So no this behavour is not ok.