To have sobbed about this?

[muffinino82]

Long so as not to drip feed.

I fell off my horse at around 12:45 after he bucked and then bolted, landed very heavily on my side, fracturing my ribs, hurting my knee and back, banging my head (although I had a hat on). I was up in the top field, approx. 60 acres up a steep hill away from the farm. My horse galloped all the way down the hill to the bottom gate and the farmer came up to get me in his Land Rover. I was initially going to be air-lifted to hospital but went in an ambulance and got back to my house at around 8pm.

Stupidly, I borrowed a friend's bridle because I forgot my own after cleaning it. I tried to ring her around 6pm to tell her what happened. I eventually got her at 9.30 (and joked that I was annoyed about her inturrupting Sherlock), told her I had a confession about the bridle. I then went on to tell her somewthing else and she cut me of. I tried to ring her again but no luck.

She rang me back at 10.30 and launched in to a rant about the bridle, saying she was very, very angry that I'd used it, that she will have to take her tack home now because she can' trust me, that it's just an awful thing to do, how it cost £80 and if it was damaged it she can't afford another. I told her I was really sorry and I had never done it before but that I genuinely couldn't remember why I'd done it at that point. She kept repeating how angry she was and I kept apologising and I said that if it was damaged I would replace it. I felt awful about it but I said I couldn't tell her the condition of the bridle because I didn't see it. She said I have to go up the yard first thing tomorrow and check it and if it's damaged, replace it by 4pm as she wants to ride (which I was a little at as she hasn't ridden him in weeks but whatever). I said that's fine, I'm really very sorry, I completely understand her anger etc. She didn't ask how either I or my horse are. She said that she accepted my apology but in an arsey tone and still kept on about how angry she is. She couldn't remember the make of her bridle so i don't actually know what to get.

In the end I told her I'd have to end the call because I was crying and really upset and in pain.

AIBU to think that she could have accepted my apology and been a little more caring, despite my enormous fuck up? I feel really shit, in so much pain and am very worried about my horse. I'm also panicking that I will lose my nerve and can't sleep. I have helped her with her horse a lot, have given her my first aid suff and given her ideas for her new farm. I just felt that she coulld have been a little more understanding when I was clearly very upset, although I get that she's annoyed. The girl who was with me when I fell off took the bridle off my horse and said it's ok, so I'm going to go up and clean her bridle then send her a picure to see if it's ok.

Listen to me

dump

your

'friend'

Hope you get better soon x

Well I think she was really fucking rude. If someone is clearly very sorry about something, you HAVE to be gracious about it, anything else is just rude. Not to mention the fact that you have fractured ribs (ouch) and hurt yourself. OK, you shouldn't have borrowed it without asking. But it wasn't even broken, was it? You just told her you had borrowed it?

She sounds like a twat.

What's a bridle?

Oh fgs don't pander to her! If the bridle is not damaged give it a really good clean in the morning then send her a.text saying "the bridle is fine, have Hung it back in its place" then leave it at that. I know people are funny about thier tack and at £80 it is probably a half way decent one but she has behaved like a spoilt brat.

Stop worrying about her and concentrate on you and your horse. Sounds like a frightening experience, any idea why he decided to have a do?

She sounds like such a lovely caring person What a nice friend you have there....

If I were you, I wouldn't bother with any picture taking or going to check anything for her. So you borrowed without asking. Ok you were wrong but to demand you go there and check first thing is just cold hearted and nasty on her behalf. You're in pain and you need to rest. You've said your sorrys leave it at that. She is coming across as a nasty bitch and clearly isn't a friend. GET RID OP.

But presumably it isn't even damaged, is it?

She sounds awful, and not my idea of a friend.

Yeah, definitely don't bother going up there tomorrow. She can go fuck herself.

The leather straps that go around the horses head queens

A bridle goes on the horse's head and, in theory , controls the front end (basic terms).

Thanks, I was quite shocked as she's normally very sweet. It's a bit awkward as we're on the same yard but she's supposed to be moving to said new farm at the end of the month.

I did say that she could have one of mine if it was wrecked until I could get her a new one, which I think is fair. But I will clean it for her as I think it's only right. The throatlash was snapped anyway and there was only one hole left on it. I was very shocked at her reaction; as peeved as I would be, I would be more worried about her and her horse. I've know her for 4 years, too, so not a brand new person.

LowRegNumber - we met the beaglers out on the common a couple of weeks ago and he had a proper to do! We hunt regularly and he's brilliant but I think not being with them blew his tiny little mind. He's always had a propensity to starting off when a little spooked. After we'd got back on to the farm property that day, he did 2 buck/leaps, which he has never done before, but I think it was just being wound up. Saturday we were warming up for the dressage when I heard a horn and so did he - I've never known him trot so fast! He did the leaping thing in he ring but not huge (enough to make go ooooooooooh' in front of everyone ). He was quite tense in the first test but ok in the second. I was ok both times before as I was expecting it but today we'd had a canter up to the top of the field and, if anything, he was very lazy, so we were sauntering across the top when he leapt in the air, unseated me, then buggered off. No idea what started it but I hope it's not going to be habit. I'd loose-schooled him before riding and he had a buck and a canter around but maybe he was just still wound up from the dressage.

How awful for you. You must be exhausted and still in shock after what happened.

Don't worry about her bridle. Text her tomorrow and say you are not in a fit state to sort it out. You could offer to pay if you want to.

Its not clear from what you wrote whether she realised exactly what had happened to you. Maybe when she finds out she will calm down and get her bridle into perspective.

I hope your horse is fine and that you are too.

Thanks all, I felt like a complete bitch earlier!

I don't think she'll be up there first thing but I want to go up and see my horse(s) as I want to check him over myself. I know I should rest but I'll feel better knowing he's ok. I don't think there's any damage to the bridle, I did see him at the gate when we got down there in the Landy and it looked ok. I'm just over-emotional today which didn't help. Plus, I saw War Horse Friday and Sherlock tonight, both of which made me cry

agnesf - Thank you. She said she'd spoken to the yard manager for an hour and a half after it happened and she told her what happened. I did tell her I'd fractured my ribs. I was a bit confused as she'd said she was going to ride, then decided to loose school her horse as she'd spent so long talking to the manager. I do wonder if she'd seen her tack at this point, as she was going to ride.

I did get a bit annoyed when she asked why I hadn't told her earlier that I'd used the bridle and, when I said because I was in hospital, her reply was 'yes, but you should have told me'!

She is no friend. If a friend of mine had borrowed my bridle I wouldn't have given it a second thought. If she had an accident I certainly wouldn't give it a second thought being more concerned about my friend.

I hope you feel better soon..

She totally over reacted and should be ashamed of herself.
However, she may well have been in the hellish situation, at some time in the past, of sharing a yard, with someone light fingered, or inclined to borrow stuff. It happens a lot, you lose stuff, it gets broken, no one owns up.... It's very frustrating.
I'm not in any way advocating or condoning her behaviour, just trying to see both sides.
I hope you feel better soon, just take it easy. I've been in your situation, fell off, had a really nasty broken arm, and I did lose my nerve. Saying that, I never did have much in the first place, I've been back on a horse since, and it's ok. The anticipation is far worse than the actuality, so stop worrying, I'm sure you will be just fine. Xx

It's astonishing how people behave, going by some of the people's threads on here :(

I hope you feel better this morning, and your horse too! You really don't need people like that in your life. She sounds dreadful. This isn't to say, my friends are the best EVAH, but just to give some perspective - no way would my friends have reacted like that to me borrowing their stuff, no way on EARTH would they have reacted like that if I'd been involved in something like you have.

They'd have laughed in my face (in a nice way) if I'd asked a few times to borrow their things, and they'd have chastised me (nicely) if I was concerned about their property being damaged in an accident in which I was injured. I think this is pretty normal behaviour in this situation.

Not giving a fig about the state you're in, and repeating over and over how angry they are is NOT acceptable reactions from "friends". I mean honestly - how many times can you repeat how angry you are? Maybe the first...two times....you feel better for getting it off your chest but after that, you're just a knob!

I hope that you are feeling OK this morning. She has proved that she isn't really a friend so I would stop worrying about her and cut the contact. Real friends put people before equipment.

what a cow your selfish "friend" is . give her the old heave ho

Soo, she was more concerned about her bridle, than your ribs/back.
Plus she didnt even ask how your horse was!

Some friend, clean her bridle up and return it, then avoid her like the plauge (sp)

I hope you are better this morning, your horse sounds a bit frisky, mind you I only ride the old ones that plod along. Sadly I am no horsewoman

Thanks everyone, I feel a lot better about the situation this morning if a lot sorer! Your replies have helped a lot, I really do appreciate them.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss - yes, I completely get what you're saying and I wanted someone to play devil's advocate tbh. We've been on the same yards for the past 4 years and she's not had a problem like that before afaik. If anything, I know she borrowed someone's saddle (with their permission, to begin with) for months and would not return it at first when asked, because she didn't have one and wanted to ride.

My horse is a knobber What breed is this crazy, frisky beast, I hear you ask? Thoroughbred? Warmblood? Arab? Oh no, he's a gypsy cob, gypsy bred, cobxtrotterxWelsh. For some reason, he's getting worse in his old age and thinking back, he's done the leaping thing a couple of times now and buggered off 3 times in the last few months, although in fairness one was when we met the beagles and one was when he got stuck in some mud so I can't really blame him for them. He's been doing a lot of dressage and hunting in between so he's very fit and strong, but I wonder if he's suddenly realised how strong he is? I may, just for peace of mind, hack out in his double + grackle when I get back on, just for my own confidence. I'm definately putting his breastplate on (will always ride in it from now on) and will attach the martingale straps. he lady I got him from said to give him a really goods schooling session and recommended doing the above, jut for my own confidence. She's an old school BHSI so I wouldn't dare not listen to her! Ridiculous, really, for something bred for good temperament but these incidents seem to have changed him. I did fall of another gypsy type cob 15 years ago and hurt my pelvis (another possible fracture) and completely lost confidence, which is what I'm most worried about. That was all I was concerned for in the ambulance, such a horsey person

Another devil's advocate here - I would get his back checked if he's suddenly started bucking you off.

And I agree with everyone else. Your 'friend' is no friend, particularly after what you've just said about the saddle. What a bitch to be more worried about a bridle than a friend who is injured.

I know zip about horses but order of priority if friend is chucked from one...

Is friend ok?
Is horse ok?
A Hundred Other Things
Is borrowed equipment ok?

Your friend is a fuckwit, sorry. Hope you and horsey are ok :)

Thanks Sarah, I'll ring the back lady today. It started the day we met the beagles so I assumed he was just very over-excited that time, which he was, and has now figured out he can do it with his clever cob brain. But I'm not so sure really. Having said that where he took off with me was he same place that said friend's horse did a huge sideways leap when we were up there before, so I do wonder if there's something about the spot that makes them spook.

Well after that reaction from her I wouldn't give a flying fuck about her bridle! Let her sort it out herself then get rid of this so called "friend".

My cob was a complete plank. The thought of all that muscle power combined with a brain is, frankly, quite terrifying.