to love this put down.....

[boohoobabywho]

'there are sensors in my car that have more sense than you'

whats your favourite (none offensive) put down?

"You are a pus filled boiled on the anus of humanity"

which I think was a Blackadder one!

I don't argue with a stupid person. They drag you down to their level then beat you on experience.

Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence.

May your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders.

Jux I love that!!

Boo
Red Dwarf! Rimmer to Cat iirc :o

A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.

' so's your face'
there is no response, wins everytime!

May have been done before. Yes, I am fat but your'e ugly. At least I can diet.

To a flasher or drunken willy waver, try this: "My God, that looks just like a penis. But smaller."

I've already got one arsehole in my knickers thanks.

( used to work in a bar!)

Here's one from my old ma;

"Do you like my dress/ top/ coat? I just bought it."
"Why?"

This needs a bit of bg.

I am a Sec Sci teacher of 13 yrs exp. A colleague was discussing his teenage sons and their friends. He said that if he decided that he didn't like any of them (the friends) and they turned up to his house, he would just tell them to "piss off".

I commented that this may result in his sons (they were 13 & 15 at the time) wanting to spend time with their friends away from the house, and so my colleague would have less of an idea of what they were getting up to.

Apparently, this was too much of a reasonable suggestion, so he resorted to the old classic of "Well, you're not a parent so what would you know!!" Uh-huh, but I was a teenager once, so I abandoned my usual reserve and said

"No I'm not a parent, but I've never had genital herpes before, yet I can teach the causes and symptoms to my students" I turned on my heel (I stood up while I was speaking) and left the staffroom.

Apparently, the tumbleweed in there while this guy sat there blustering and being all affronted was ace. He's a very negative man, and not very well liked. Sure that has nothing to do with it.

Got these on a keyring

Cancel my subscription coz i dont need your issues..

And

When i woke up this morning i had one nerve left now your getting on it

I like Hermione Granger's "You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

I like "fit in or fuck off". Read it in janet street porters book "life's too fucking short".

Please bare in mind that I am normally a nice person,but I was having a bad day when these gems came out....

Said to a dizty but plays on it blonde dollybird "If you ask me for the answer one more time, I'll slap you so hard your hair turns back to its natural colour"

&

"I would give you a round of applause for your attempt at wit & putdowns, but then I'd have to show you the other shapes as well"

Any man that asks for a "loan".

Excuse me, do I look like your mother?!

I've made it my mantra

Found here on MN:
"I could agree with you but then we'd both be wrong"

"Do you know you're talking out loud?"

"If brains were chocolate, you couldn't fill a smartie!!"

Best come back i heard when dh said it about my ex.

'You should have being a splashmark on your mums duvet'

Love it

You aren't a cunt. You lack the warmth and depth.

OMG - back on here for an update and the new ones are brilliant, love them.

If you were twice the man you could be you'd still be half of what I need.

To my ex(es) - paraphrasing Trent Reznor. Always went down a storm (unlike them ).

preferrably shouted top volume...."help! help! someone's anus has broken loose"