Justified anger at the posters who were rude and hurtful on a past thread

[Roseability]

I haven't posted on Mumsnet for nearly a year and I am posting in this section, well because I suspect it is one of the most popular and I am hoping certain posters will read it

Just under a year ago, I posted about my ds (link provided below). An Early Years Educator had raised a concern that he was sometimes having problems following instructions.

She insinuated he had serious developmental problems and was quite negative about him. I posted for advice, because I genuinely felt she had got it wrong.

The response I got from some posters on that thread was quite frankly disgusting and had I not been too upset, I would have reported it at the time. I was called names, told I was a bad mother and told I was in denial about my ds.

I know that learning difficulties can be a sensitive area, but I stated time and time again that I was making no judgement about children with learning difficulties. I was following my instincts as a mother. Still I was insulted.

In the end my ds did have a speech & Lang assessment and he was discharged. He has settled into school really well. I still think about that thread now and then because at the time it put me in quite a bad place. I know it is strangers on the internet, but words hurt.

I suppose my point is, that I have read many a thread on here, of mothers who instinctively know their child is having developmental difficulties and are met with resistence by various authorities. It can work the other way. A mother who really believes her child is being misunderstood.

I would never neglect to support my children in the best way. Anyway, whilst there are many lovely posters on mumsnet, some are hurtful and agressive. No doubt this will be met with the usual nasty quips from some, but I don't care. One thing I have learnt is that everyone is entitled to stick up for themselves. I am not posting just because I was right. For indeed, had my ds been diagnosed with special needs, I still would have posted. That it was no way to be towards a mum in distress.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/preschool/1140182-Anyone-had-problems-with-pre-school-I-think-they-are-trying-to-label-my-son-as-autistic

OP, you come across as manic, unhinged, and completely irrational on that thread. The only justification I can see was the response you got from other posters.

But how
Can you comment on this thread properly and without bias when it directly relates to the original thread?!

I mean shout bully! Clique! All you like but just because a lot of people say the same thing to an OP it does NOT make them 'a gang'

Maybe it means that we just have a common view that OP was bU and you are
Talking out of
Your arse having not read the original thread?

Yes i have found huge support on the stately homes thread. it was mostly a lovely thread where people are supportive.

There are some lovely posters, some good banter etc

But their are some unbelievably cruel and agressive posters and i find that when someone rises to it they get accused of being a bully

Bloody hell fire you just got worse after p5!

Posters kept telling you that they empathised with you.
Posters kept saying that they were sorry you were so upset.
Posters kept agreeing that the nursery worker had handled it exceptionally badly.

And you just kept on being hostile, aggressive and self-pitying.

I am that you've chosen to bring it all up again so that everyone can see how unreasonable you were to people who were trying to help you. Frankly if that is how you always behave, then I'd feel a bit sorry for your family (DS included), as well.

That was for boomerwang

Maryz I tried to imply with ^^ around the word wrong , that I didn't exactly believe that IYSWIM?

I remember reading that thread, and thinking it was an impossible situation for anyone over the internet to help with...

I have plenty of things I'd like to ask, but end up not bothering because I don't think all things can be helped with on-line. :)

And I repeat - I get really pissed off on here when I see unnecessary nastiness and rudeness, or what could be construed as bullying or ganging up. That thread was none of those things!

I remember your thread, have read through because I was sure I had posted (different name) but didn't.

I remember thinking at the time that lots of posters were giving you good advice & was amazed at your responses

Yes, it was clearly a stressful time for you & its great that your DS is doing well but you have serious issues if you can't re-read & realise that most posters were trying to be helpful?

I really cannot work out why you were so pissed off with everyone by the end of the first page.

I just re-read it. I cant see it.

No one said you were wrong about your child, people agreed the nursery handled it badly, a few said it was worth not ruling things out totally at the age your son was at the time.

Stop picking at the scab.

Who did i call names maryz?

i think it was in response to being called eejit. and that poster kept on being agressive even when it was clear i was quite down

but thats right we don't have to feel sorry for strangers on a forum. because they are not seen they can be bullied

and i am very grateful for those offering advice and help. i took it, i got my ds assessed

I'm quite new so have no history with anyone. I'm in no clique or group or anything! Nobody knows me on this so I would be pretty unbiased.

I've read your original thread. I'm sorry but you were just awful! :( SO rude and hostile right from the get go. I think you've painted yourself as a victim and nothing anybody says or does is going to break that mindset. That's fair enough. But IMO you didn't come across well on the first thread, and even less so now starting another thread about it a year later.

If you feel bullied there's probably not going to be much reasoning with you. I don't think you were bullied. I think it got nasty but you were very instrumental in that. Can't you just let it go?

FFS
This is ridiculous.

Get over it. Stop making a fool of yourself.
Enjoy your 'normal' son
Well done. You win , you were right.

Hurrah

I'm really sorry this has been so upsetting for you, but you have to understand that tones, inferences, and meanings all get a bit lost sometimes on here.
That doesn't excuse posters that get personal or are obviously rude, but the large majority on there were trying to help you.
I got told that i sounded like a nightmare on a thread yesterday, I just ignored it, because if you start arguing, you will soon sound like a nightmare.

I do think rose has obviously had a tough time around this issue, and whilt she was a bit irate on the original thread, there is no point raking it all over as it will just reopen the hurt for her - and she seems to be in a bit of a vulnerable position in that it has upset her for so long. When it comes to issues around disability etc mumsnet is usually such a wise, supportive place, and it seems silly to let one upset poster make everyone tetchy?

Rose, what would you like to achieve through this thread?

Rose everyone who has looked at that thread sees you as the aggressive one, up to age 7 at least everyone was very supportive and you were rather rude and manic.

Yet you still insist on going on about aggressive posters on MN. That is how others see YOU.

You appear to ignore all comments, dismiss the evidence and conclude your a victim and need to defend yourself aggressively. I would guess this is a learnt defensive response and you just view yourself as assertive.

But your not assertive, what you actually do is exhibit inappropriate exaggerated aggressive responses to perceived slights where ther are none.
Again seriously, consider this.

I have read the first and last pages of the original thread. (And not a lot of this one, to be fair but I get the gist.)

Every time I saw the OP reply I wondered why she was so snippy and if I'd missed a post or two. I hadn't though.

Why would you choose to bring this up a year later? Bag it, bin it and put it to bed!

I was on that htread too.

I will join pagwatch in the 'we are all cows' corner.

OP - I am glad your ds is doing ok.

I find your need ot gloat about it distasteful though. Everyone on that thread was trying to help. We were all beyond patient.

maryz is right - there was no appreciation of that form you at all, neither then nor now.

I note that your ds did have an assessment in the end - exactly what so many of us were saying would be the best course of action - and your response? not just relief that he was discharged, and settled in ok, no "thanks for the advice, I got him checked out and all is ok", just "yah boo sucks! you were all wrong"

lovely.

I sincerely hope I don't inadvertently give you any advice under your new name - I don't think it would be welcome.

I've just read through the first bits of your original thread and to be honest it seems like you are the one to begin getting funny...can't understand why you have now brought it up a YEAR later?

From what I've read, you asked for opinions then shot yourself in the foot when you realized that people would try to help you. You got arsey, people responded to your arseyness and you're now back a whole year later to tell us about what arses we are.

...Right.

Look. Just get over it. Seriously. Does it even really matter?! You have a healthy DS! Be happy FGS!