Justified anger at the posters who were rude and hurtful on a past thread

[Roseability]

I haven't posted on Mumsnet for nearly a year and I am posting in this section, well because I suspect it is one of the most popular and I am hoping certain posters will read it

Just under a year ago, I posted about my ds (link provided below). An Early Years Educator had raised a concern that he was sometimes having problems following instructions.

She insinuated he had serious developmental problems and was quite negative about him. I posted for advice, because I genuinely felt she had got it wrong.

The response I got from some posters on that thread was quite frankly disgusting and had I not been too upset, I would have reported it at the time. I was called names, told I was a bad mother and told I was in denial about my ds.

I know that learning difficulties can be a sensitive area, but I stated time and time again that I was making no judgement about children with learning difficulties. I was following my instincts as a mother. Still I was insulted.

In the end my ds did have a speech & Lang assessment and he was discharged. He has settled into school really well. I still think about that thread now and then because at the time it put me in quite a bad place. I know it is strangers on the internet, but words hurt.

I suppose my point is, that I have read many a thread on here, of mothers who instinctively know their child is having developmental difficulties and are met with resistence by various authorities. It can work the other way. A mother who really believes her child is being misunderstood.

I would never neglect to support my children in the best way. Anyway, whilst there are many lovely posters on mumsnet, some are hurtful and agressive. No doubt this will be met with the usual nasty quips from some, but I don't care. One thing I have learnt is that everyone is entitled to stick up for themselves. I am not posting just because I was right. For indeed, had my ds been diagnosed with special needs, I still would have posted. That it was no way to be towards a mum in distress.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/preschool/1140182-Anyone-had-problems-with-pre-school-I-think-they-are-trying-to-label-my-son-as-autistic

I have just read your original thread, and then this one (that's a couple of hours of my life I won't get back) and I really really can't understand your attitude OP. MN can be a nest of Vipers, but you received some extremely kind responses. People spent some time writing out their own personal experiences and gave good advice, and you picked up on a couple of perceived insults and made a mountain out of a molehill.

I'm pleased your son is fine. My son is having trouble speaking, and I burst into tears when the nursery worker suggested he needed some intervention or assessment. Had posted about it on here and received all the time and care people took on your original thread I'd feel bloody lucky to have such an amazing source of advice and support.

I've just remembered something and I think you're telling fibs when you say you haven't posted in a year.

Time to leave really, when you despise a place as much as you hate MN - why hang around?

Vicar doesn't sound bitter at all

I keep telling myself to hide this thread, but it's like watching a slow motion car crash. I don't want to watch open-mouthed and stare at the tragic spectacle, but I can't stop myself. Now I feel dirty, as if I've been watching eastenders.

So i am not allowed to say i have happy children maryz, and i have been through hell and high water to get the life i have, without being accused of gloating?

i am adopted. i know the pain that can cause. i am not a nasty person

maryz may I give you a hug

I leave for
A few hours and return to MORE bullying/ victim accusations and still going around in annoying as hell circles

Probably not what you need to hear but some things need to be said, you are behaving really irrationally and seem to be a professional victim/ and or narc.

roseability, who are the 'nasty fuckers'?

the ones who told you that maybe an assessment was the way to go?

the ones who pointed out that your perception of what the criteria for an ASD dx were wrong?

the ones who have been hurt by your blatant gloating that your ds is not like theirs?

just who are these nasty fuckers?

I am adopted too....
I'm confused re reads

Rose There are plenty of posters on here with more humanity and humility than you will ever have. Your projection, aggression and spitefulness towards posters, who have given up their time both now and year ago to try and help you and show you support, is awful, truly awful.

Rose what he buggery are you trying to achieve ?

I have also read the first thread and you were a bit odd and mos people were perfectly helpful to you .

Have you really been saving all his angst up for a whole year ?

Roseability - DO you react like this to real life stressful discussions?

Rose I don't think you can say anything now to make this end well, that ship has sailed. I think you have come across poorly and probably not how you intended.

I certainly don't want you to say you are a monumental twat, deluded, paranoid or aggressive. I just think that you aren't getting anything positive out of this so you are better to maybe leave the thread and think about how you post and whether you want to continue. Maybe look at the way you structure your replies, think about how they will read to other posters and how the tone of your replies comes across and what type of reaction they solicit from others. I think then you will understand why you are getting the type of responses that you are.

I have just read the original thread and really and truly OP you are the very first to get nasty and sweary.

Distressed, upset mum = deserving of sympathy;
Touchy, prickly, snarky mum = gets what she deserves.

You are mad to have started this one.

By the way Maryz you have the patience of a saint to be STILL trying to engage with her.

I've seen and been flamed on here, it's often taken too far. So I read your original thread with interest and expected to be on your side, however, I'm not. I think you are and were very quick to get touchy and take offence where none was meant. You were unnecessarily rude Not sure what you think you'll achieve this time round, it looks like you're spoiling for a fight tbh.

I agree Dublin.
Maryz the patience you and others have shown is above and beyond.

Im starting to feel sorry for her ds too....

That snipe about adoption was utterly spiteful actually.

Please remember OP, that often posters are recognisable in namechanges, and although innocent outrage can be feigned it doesn't always work when others are cogent of past history.

There are plenty of nasty fuckers on MN, but I can't see any of them here.

What I can see are plenty of people who have been trying to help you and who have been very hurt by your posts, as well as your complete and utter lack of empathy for the situations that they may be in with their own children.

Perhaps MN is just not for you? After all, this is generally a supportive forum.