Justified anger at the posters who were rude and hurtful on a past thread

[Roseability]

I haven't posted on Mumsnet for nearly a year and I am posting in this section, well because I suspect it is one of the most popular and I am hoping certain posters will read it

Just under a year ago, I posted about my ds (link provided below). An Early Years Educator had raised a concern that he was sometimes having problems following instructions.

She insinuated he had serious developmental problems and was quite negative about him. I posted for advice, because I genuinely felt she had got it wrong.

The response I got from some posters on that thread was quite frankly disgusting and had I not been too upset, I would have reported it at the time. I was called names, told I was a bad mother and told I was in denial about my ds.

I know that learning difficulties can be a sensitive area, but I stated time and time again that I was making no judgement about children with learning difficulties. I was following my instincts as a mother. Still I was insulted.

In the end my ds did have a speech & Lang assessment and he was discharged. He has settled into school really well. I still think about that thread now and then because at the time it put me in quite a bad place. I know it is strangers on the internet, but words hurt.

I suppose my point is, that I have read many a thread on here, of mothers who instinctively know their child is having developmental difficulties and are met with resistence by various authorities. It can work the other way. A mother who really believes her child is being misunderstood.

I would never neglect to support my children in the best way. Anyway, whilst there are many lovely posters on mumsnet, some are hurtful and agressive. No doubt this will be met with the usual nasty quips from some, but I don't care. One thing I have learnt is that everyone is entitled to stick up for themselves. I am not posting just because I was right. For indeed, had my ds been diagnosed with special needs, I still would have posted. That it was no way to be towards a mum in distress.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/preschool/1140182-Anyone-had-problems-with-pre-school-I-think-they-are-trying-to-label-my-son-as-autistic

Mary- come here if you are feeling cross

Bloody hell you are manipulative.

"Oikopolis - your post has upset me more than anyone's has on mumsnet"

OP I read oikopolis' post and was nodding vigorously all the way through - she was spot on with that, and she was equally spot on with her subsequent post.

If it really upset you, then it obviously touched a nerve. You honestly need to look at yourself and your reactions to people. Noone was trying to hurt you one the first thread, and noone is trying to hurt you here, but people are raising some very valid concerns about where you are at in your head. Please remember - noone thrust these opinions at you unsolicited; you started threads on these issues where posters have given you honest advice.

You say you've had therapy, but honestly, I (and a lot of other people), think that you need some more. I'm not trying to be mean, and nor is anyone else as far as I can see. I think that it would be very beneficial to you to print off both threads and go through them (and the issues they raised for you) with a decent therapist.

Last thread reached 14 pages, this one will go further I think....

Can you honestly still not see that you are being far more hurtful and bloodymindedly vicariously nasty to the very people you accuse of doing the same to you a year ago? People who, almost to a MNer were trying to help you?

You really do need help. And to leave the people alone that you are being so horrid to now. Is any of this making you feel any better? Because it's making me feel slightly sick.

OP, why did you start this thread? What are you trying to get out of this?

ignoring thread now as well
.i dont think anyone can say anything to help in your opinion.mn is a fantastically supportive but honest place but doesnt work for all.i think you may be best left to it.

best of luck op.

Really Rose what was the point of this thread. It is not doing you any good to be resurrecting the past, when you should be pleased your ds is doing well and be moving on from this, and putting your previous thread to bed where it truly belongs.

I agree with Kerry.

I'm glad your ds is doing well OP.

Ressurecting a thread that is a year old, suggests there are things you still need to work on and that you have not fully dealt with. If you were happy in yourself this would be in the past tbh.

What on earth was wrong with oikopolispost???

Honestly?

Op. This really is not the place for you...... 2 threads both going the same way, what does that tell you?You sound more than odd now..

So far i have been called manipulative, unhinged, a monumental twat.

yet where on this thread have i been so insulting?

Maryz - i have aplogised and thanked. but that seems to have been dismissed

You really are not cut out for MN, Roseability. This is a Nest of Vipers, and sometimes I quite enjoy that, but not for everyone.

I think maybe there are loads of American parenting sites where you'd find kindred minds. They are more earnest there, and not into honing BS detectors.

Rose Did you read Maryz post at 17:59?

Wow - your capacity to delude yourself is pretty impressive isn't it? Are you going to answer the many posters who've asked why you started this thread?

Rose I would step off from the thread, hide it or delete it and move on from this really.

Fuck me this has come on a pace since page 1. Why in gods name did you even start it?! Switch the Pc off, speak to your DH, play with your wonderfully normal DS and get on with life.

I asked hours ago what the Op hoped to achieve with this thread because I knew what would happen.

I don't really give a hoot either way about the topic, but surely it was obvious where it would end up.

Id get this thread removed by HQ if I were you, its a huge negative.

You posted to get peoples backs up, you have to remember there is always more than one perspective there are as many as there are posters.

WTAF that is all really .

FFs but really? really? It was a year ago.

Why did i start this thread?

because i think some posters are agressive in their manner. i think some are downright mean. i personally couldn't operate like that. i have my faults but i am no viper

i do have plenty of empathy and i will determine what is mentally healthy for me

i am actually gaining a lot from this thread

Rose mumsnett can be bitchy, nasty, hilarious, supportive, imformative,entertaining it either suits you or it doesn't. For your own sanity, let it go.

So you wanted to wind everyone up, get negative reations to reinforce to yourself we're all a bunch of bitches and you were right all along?

You are just plain weird.

Roseability, your 'apology' was buried in the middle of the thread, and delivered in a very offhand manner.

I am not sure it is somethign you could set great store by, since the overt reason for this thread was to 'prove' yourself right to a lot of posters who tried their hardest to help you last year. and suggested nothing more than what ended up happening - an assessment, to see what the professionals said.

utterly bizarre behaviour, tbh.

So i will repeat. i am truly sorry to anyone i offended, i was at worst misinformed about some aspects of asd. but never intentionally nasty about it. my ds friend has aspergers, a lovely wee chap. i have a nephew on the spectrum. my mother had severe mental health problems - would never try to stigmatise intentionally

so those of you who come on here to goad, bully, 'tell it straight' why do you?