AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

[Toomanycuppas]

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

Not being able to BF isn't always about perseverance, or about difficulties with latching on. DD was brilliant at latching on. Unfortunately, my body was so knocked about by a difficult delivery that there was no milk there, or at least not enough to make her thrive. I tried for weeks, eating healthily, drinking loads etc to up production but it didn't happen.

How nice to know that in the eyes of some of you I have let my daughter down by not trying hard enough. Thanks for that. Lucky I am secure in the knowledge I have always done my best for her.

Yep. I know that well, most likely better than you as I support women with bf and I see first hand the genuine issues which stop women from bf and the problems that can be overcome with the right information, perseverance and guidance so I am well clued up on these issues which you probably only speculate about

Not heavy handed, just honest. But many people can't handle the truth can they!

That last post was for spenit

Cardibach - as I have pointed out, of course there are cases where there are genuine problems to milk supply and in your case you did all you could and that is something to be admired but too many women trot out the 'no milk' line when this is not the case and it also takes away from genuine cases like yours when they do so as your battle was real. I am talking about problems that can be overcome not ones that can't

Well proudnscary that is your choice and you can shout about how healthy your kids are All you like but the fact remains that if they had had breastmilk it would have done them a lot of good. However much you want to ignore it.

So runningwilde what you are saying is that because you battled through breastfeeding problems, you think everyone else should as well. What if they dont want to 'battle' on? Being a new mother is bloody hard enough isnt it - if breastfeeding isnt going well and there is an alternative why make yourself miserable, as people say time and again by the time they are teenagers no one gives a shit how they were fed.

Am also quite that you support women who are trying to breastfeed. When they are in tears because it hurts or their baby is losing weight rapidly, do you say 'come on love, where is your sense of perseverance? You do realise you will be a crap mum if you give up now'. Quite frankly, unless your RL manner is very different to how you come across on here, I would not enjoy having you support me!

Yes, in a lot of cases battling through is important because it gives so many benefits to a baby and for me that is important

And guess what, the women I help greatly appreciate my support and they are so proud they persevered. This is how I feel on this and you think differently. It is bewildering to me that so many women dismiss the importance of breastmilk in the early months. If women don't want to battle on through problems that can be overcome that is their choice, but the women I admire are those who do battle on through problems that can be overcome. Of course I know many people who have given up and that is their choice but it is not something I admire about them no

And when they are in tears etc I offer guidance and support - I have been there where they are - the tears, the pain, the extreme mastitis, problems with latch etc so I know how to guide them. If they want to give up then I advise them how to - I may not always agree with their decision but I will help them if they still need the help

running-you might think you know a lot about Breastfeeding but you can't and don't know everything.

Why? because every mother and every baby and every birth is different. You are in no position to judge people who don't or can't breastfeed because you have not walked in their shoes.

You might have seen more boobs than Russell Brand but you don't know everything about every mother and the reasons behind her choices/inabilities to BF.

I hope your judgey pants give you a wedgie.

PS I am pro breastfeeding but I am also pro the poor tired sod who has just given birth.

I didn't say I did know everything actually. I do believe in women doing what they can to give their baby the benefit of breastmilk and I am super happy with the way I think.

And if women can't bf that is something different, I said most problems can be overcome with support and perseverance - of course not all can and in certain cases it is not going to be possible. We all know that the reason a lot of women give up on bf is because it is hard. This is what I am talking about, not the genuine problems which make it impossible.

You know, Runningwilde, this is exactly why I posted exactly what I posted (!) earlier.

I find it very patronising that you allow - or forgive? - women who can't breastfeed but continue to harangue and chastise those who simply didn't try.

I wanted to make the point that some women choose not to breastfeed - that is a legitimate choice and that there have been absolutely no negative repercussions.

There may be other women on here who, like me, chose not to bf but are actually too scared to admit that!

I will always remember a thread from a couple of years ago where a poster who hadn't bf had all sorts of nasty, thinly-veiled insults and insinuations thrown at her...she must be stupid, uneducated, lower class in some way.

Posters on here always feel they need to say there were medical/technical reasons why they couldn't bf - and I'm sure that is true in most cases. But I bet some of them are wary of the Tit Gestapo coming down on them like a ton of hot bosoms if they say otherwise.

I know you cannot possibly even entertain this thought - but my children have not missed out because I didn't breastfeed - I won't go on about this, I said it all in my earlier post.

I am literally sitting on my hands so that I don't type 'of course I am pro breastfeeding and accept it's a wonderful and valuable thing to do' (damn typed it!) - not because that isn't my view/position but because I don't feel I should have to say that to be forgiven or condoned!

running what proudnscary was saying is that not all ff children will be thick and sick. Feeding is only a part of being a parent and does not totally influence how a child will be at the end, there are many other psychosocial and biological factors involved

Well proudnscary that is your choice and you can shout about how healthy your kids are All you like but the fact remains that if they had had breastmilk it would have done them a lot of good. However much you want to ignore it.

What I have been trying to show, in a fact based way, is that this assertion is less true in the first world, and the actual differences in outcome are quite small in reality.

And that unless you believe breatmilk operates in a homeopathic medicine way, by about 2 yo it's nearly impossible for these putative benefits to apply, for the child at any rate.

to think that only bf babies/toddlers will be healthy adults is very narrow indeed

I didn't say anything about 'thick' or 'sick' or that ff babies are unhealthy and I couldn't care less if people like proudnscary didn't bf. I did say that breastfeeding/breastmilk is beneficial, especially for babies and whilst people like proudnscary think their kids didn't miss out, well I think they did as breastmilk has nutritional benefits that formula doesn't have. That is not a put down that is a fact and to try and dispute that is silly. But it really doesnt matter to me id you want to ignore this. I breastfed to give my children the benefits of breastmilk and also the comforting benefit of breastfeeding has been amazing to see. I have also helped women overcome the difficult first few weeks/months to get to the point where it is a joy to breastfeed. That makes me feel brilliant and that is what matters to me. I personally think a year of bf is brilliant for a baby, two years is even better and after that, for me it is a weaning process but still has benefits.
If you are happy with your choices, good for you. I believe in a baby's right to breastmilk and a mother breastfeeding if she can. I do not like seeing tiny babies with a bottle full of formula in their mouth and I'll
Admit that. I find it horrible. And i have heard many people whisper the same thing. It's just my personal thoughts on this and you dot have to like it or agree with it.

If you are happy with the way you think then it dowat really matter what I think does it.

And how do you know there are no negative repercussions? Have you never read about the fact that breastfeeding lowers the risk of certain childhood cancers, lowers the risk of cot death, of diabetes, etc etc etcccccc

All the antibodies too

Although I am sure whatmeworry will try to find a way to dimiss these too..

But in the grand scheme of things proudnscarey children did not miss out, as they are healthy and intelligent adults. Yes of course running you are entitled to your views just as much as the next person, I find this comment a bit without knowing the mother or the circumstances. How do you know its formula in there! The mum could be expressing or mix feeding.

I do not like seeing tiny babies with a bottle full of formula in their mouth and I'll
Admit that. I find it horrible

Just because you bf does not prevent you getting such diseases and illness running it can help by reducing the risk but bm is not a cure all. Lifestyle choices can also play a big part, no good if you were breastfed than started to smoke all your life or eat a poor diet, you will still be more likely to get cancer and obesity.

Although I am sure whatmeworry will try to find a way to dimiss these too.

I don't have to - the mere fact that very large numbers of non or partially breastfed children survive and thrive without any problems shows the breastapo claims up as the belief based bullshit they are.

In outcome terms there is no discernible difference by school going age - that is the ultimate inconvenient truth.

Yes running its good that you provide such a valuable service to mothers, and great that you got them bf again but can do this without all the negativity about formula. In fact there is a certain NCT bf counsellor on the Breast/bottle section who helps women without the negativity and making them feel bad.

proud not all breastfeeding counsellors think like running in fact her views do not do much to promote bf but put it in a bad light so much so that people use negative terms to describe people who bf or who try their best to promote it. I wish to bf and really hope I do (i am overdue now with dc 2), I tried to bf dd 5 years ago when she was born but encountered many problems and did not last very long. Comments from running can make new mothers feel so bad, and I hope that nobody in that position who is struggling to bf or as a new mother reads them.

I did my best for dd, it later transpires that she has SN now that could have affected her being able to bf and have got past the guilt stage. I believe in the promotion that every little helps (meaning breastfeeding). One poster a couple of years ago posted a very good timeline on the benefits of breast feeding from the first. colostrum, 1 week, 2 week 3 week 4 week etc.

thats ok proud

too many women trot out the 'no milk' line when this is not the case

I do not like seeing tiny babies with a bottle full of formula in their mouth and I'll Admit that. I find it horrible.

I have also helped women overcome the difficult first few weeks/months to get to the point where it is a joy to breastfeed. That makes me feel brilliant and that is what matters to me.

I hear a touch of narcissism in these words. Interesting also that every poster that disagrees with you gets their individual post picked apart, rather than discussed.