To think that people who moan on facebook about being delayed after someone has committed suicide under a train are insensitive twats?

[samstown]

One of my facebook friends has today written a moany status 'thanking' the 'idiot' who jumped under a train (am assuming he was delayed getting home because of this).

Some poor bastard has got to the a point so low in their life that they feel that the best thing they can do is end it all, and all some people can do is moan that they have been mildly inconvenienced getting home.

This isnt the first status I have seen like this either. Now granted, I am not a commuter so have not been in the position where I have been delayed on a train due to a track suicide, although I do know of a girl who ended her life under a train.

AIBU?

Magneto...I am very sorry for the position you find yourself in. It is so very difficult. Best wishes x

Everlong...I still remember the horror and torment in my little mums face when me and my sister turned up on her doorstep to get her to take her to the hospital :(

Love, strength and peace to you too. You are not alone x

And poor you, everlong. It is an horrific experience and don't ever be beaten down by people who have no idea.

My little mum had moved into her new sheltered accommodation that day and thought that we were coming to have a nose round until she fully registered our faces and knew that something was dreadfully wrong :(

How's that for inconveniencing your exciting day, eh?

Thank you both and I really don't mean to cause any offense or upset to either of you.

And her boxes lay there untouched for three months because she came back to mine after that day and couldn't go back to being alone.

Unlike the moaners who were late for one day because their train was delayed.....Ffs!

Cross posted with both of you there....

Magneto....no offence taken. I know how difficult it is.

Everlong...I guess I've answered that with my previous post. Most definitely a close family and that hasn't changed. I'm sorry if you found some breaks. I did with certain friends but not family.

Everlong - your words speak volumes. xxxxx

rosehill, you've missed my point by a country mile. The man I described as not giving a toss because he was dead was already dead. And therefore beyond worrying about the impression he was making on anyone, let alone a complete stranger of whose existence he was completely unaware during his life, let alone after death.

You've misunderstood, and twisted it, wrongly, into a point about being unkind to suicidal people. Clearly that's different - people who have suicidal thoughts are alive when they have them, and can be hurt by unkindness. A suicidal person deserves compassion. A family devastated by a suicide deserve compassion. A train driver who is forced to witness a suicide and is forced to become a weapon against his or her will deserves compassion. Any other witnesses deserve compassion, as do the people who have to clear up the mess.

Everlong and I are cyber-friends. We have both lost children. When dd died, I wanted to die. I blamed myself for her death. I did think about suicide because I would get to see dd again. My other children? Well, seeing as how their sister had died in my care, I wasn't really much of a mother, was I, so would they actually be losing out?
I thought about drowning myself but am too afraid of water.
I thought about going to the GP for AD's and taking them all in one go, possibly with a pack of paracetemol. But was afraid that I might in fact end up being resucitated and left with a damaged liver and more useless than I had been before.

I don't live near a train station but I thought about driving my car out in front of a truck at the front of my estate. Bang! and it would all be over. I thought the truck driver would be shaken but would get over it.

After a while, I realised that even if I was a rubbish mother that my children and dh would be devastated. A bit longer and I realised that actually, my dd had been so premature that maybe it wasn't entirely my fault that she died. It was much longer again, weeks in fact before I was rational enough to realise that the truck driver would never, ever get over having killed someone. Earlier, the shock and grief of losing my dd had somehow altered me so that I really couldn't see that.

That is the worst that I have felt in my whole life. And Thank God it didn't last long enough for me to act on it. I have always considered myself to be mentally strong and didn't really understand how depression feels. I am still not sure that I would describe it as depression as there was an obvious cause for the way I felt but was I selfish? No. Irrational? Yes.

And pacifist for the record, everlong will never "come to terms" with her son's suicide. Those phrases that people trot out make my teeth fucking itch! My dd died through no action of her own and I know I will never, ever come to terms with it. When they die of suicide, there is the death itself and then the knowledge that they didn't want to live, so it must be ten times worse.When you lose a child you live with it but you do NOT get over it or come to terms with it. Just so you know.

That's a very moving post, chipmonk.

I think you may have been depressed - depression can be caused by a heart-breaking situation, it doesn't have to come from nowhere.

I do feel sad every time someone announces it edam. Do I feel sad for all the people who die every day? If I'm confronted directly with it, yes, I am.

But particularly when someone has killed themselves. Maybe because I can relate, I don't know, but it sends me home in tears whenever it happens.

I can see some people think that's stupid and over-sensitive. I'd rather be like that than a hard-hearted bastard though.

Chipmonkey sending you love and thoughts, moved by your post, although don't know any of the details

Edam in response to your post on Wed night, I agree that I wouldn't expect people to be moved by every death which may occur at any particular time to a total stranger.............but I am still moved by the deaths of people I have witnessed at a distance (eg friend of friend, or a road accident that you've witnessed) and I would put train suicides into that category. If I were on a train which was delayed due to a suicide, I'd like to think that compassion for that person, their family and people affected in the aftermath of the accident would be bigger concerns than me being late to cook dinner

First of all, Edam, no one is saying that you have to have a public mourning session every time someone does this, but a little bit of compassion in a social setting such as facebook wouldnt go amiss.

Secondly, someone does not commit suicide because they are 'selfish'. The act itself may be selfish because the illness makes people think about ending their own life and not about what may be left behind, but the person who does it is not 'selfish'. It has already been said a few times on this thread, but would you call an eldery person with dementia selfish because their family has to watch them deteriorate, or someone with a heart condition selfish if they have a heart attack in a public place, causing delays or traumatising those present?

Finally, am at somone quoting Stalin - he was a real beacon of compassion wansnt he?!

that was exactly my original point, samstown - that suicide is a selfish act. I didn't describe people who commit suicide as selfish. I do wish people would stop yelling at me for things I haven't said.

Maybe it's better just not to bandy the word "selfish" around in connection with suicide. It's a total cliche, offensive and hurtful.

I didn't bandy it around, I used it once back at the start of the thread where people were discussing selfishness and debating whether it applied to suicide or not.

Bandy about/use, it's all semantics. I hate that word being applied in any way to what is such a desperate act.

it's not semantics to be fair. the meaning is quite different and engineers a 'thoughlessness' which i am positive Edam doesn't employ in her posts.

Thank you, Custy. Nice to see you around, how are you?

p.s. re. facebook - I've never commented on any suicide on there and wouldn't dream of bitching about someone who had killed themselves. I know that's how the thread started but really do think it's horrible - I was merely posting about the being delayed stuff, as a regular commuter.

Dh's cousin jumped in front of a train.

I never felt sorry for those who were a bit late home from work, but I think it was a very selfish act due to the pain it caused his parents, his sister, his grandma and also no doubt the train driver who will probably have to live with it for the rest of his life.