To think that people who moan on facebook about being delayed after someone has committed suicide under a train are insensitive twats?

[samstown]

One of my facebook friends has today written a moany status 'thanking' the 'idiot' who jumped under a train (am assuming he was delayed getting home because of this).

Some poor bastard has got to the a point so low in their life that they feel that the best thing they can do is end it all, and all some people can do is moan that they have been mildly inconvenienced getting home.

This isnt the first status I have seen like this either. Now granted, I am not a commuter so have not been in the position where I have been delayed on a train due to a track suicide, although I do know of a girl who ended her life under a train.

AIBU?

It must be an absolutely horrible way to die. I can't see how the person who would choose to end their life like this be in any way rational.

I've lived and commuted in London for years. If I ever become that cold hearted then I'm leaving.

everlong - if that's to me, I haven't said anything horrible about people who jump, as far as I'm aware. Nor do I spend my time hating someone who jumps when I'm on a train that's delayed - apart from anything else I'm too busy trying to get hold of ds's school/ my childminder/dh to let them know I have no ruddy idea when I might see them again. I just can't do a big public show of (false) grief for someone I've never met. It's very sad they died but very sad in the same way that every other death that happens in the world every day is sad - you can't get worked up about it unless you have some personal connection to that person.

I do wish they wouldn't do it but the person who killed themselves has ended their pain and is free of suffering, while driver may be haunted for the rest of his or her life, and unable to do the job ever again, everyone else involved in witnessing the act or clearing up must be traumatised and the victim's poor family must be in hell.

I can't think of a method of suicide that doesn't hurt the poor person who finds the body, bar Dignitas, but jumping on train tracks has to be one of the worst.

I am so shocked by a few people on this thread. I do think that if you are hard hearted about this, I am glad not to know you. Such attitudes do not make the world a better place. Basic compassion is always a good starting point.
If I went on fb and moaned about somebody having a heart attack preventing me being seen in A and E, or if I said some one with lung cancer inconvenienced me because my colleague took the day off to look after them, I would quite rightly be utterly slated. Very little difference imo. Just different illnesses. point.
If I went onfb

edam is absolutely right as usual. I am not callous, I feel terribly sorry for the person that has been driven to this but, as I said earlier, I feel sorrier for the driver.

Thanks, Patti. As it happens, among close family, friends, neighbours and acquaintances, it's been a really shitty six months for serious, life-threatening illness and death, including several heart attacks and cancers. But I don't expect complete strangers to be emotional about it - they don't know my lovely neighbour who had a heart attack at Mass, or my friend who has secondaries (but thankfully latest results are good, fluid seems to be off her lungs), or that my dh was being investigated for heart disease (thankfully angiogram was fine).

I did feel extremely sorry for my father's ex's new partner who found his father's body when his father had hung himself, but not particularly for his father, who was beyond giving a toss about what random strangers thought of him, being dead and all. Never met either of them or even known of their existence until my father told me about his ex and what an awful thing had happened to her new partner - it would have been mad to somehow imagine I had some connection to them.

everlong, what you say about people who commit suicide is exactly why they are so selfish. youve described it in a nutshell.

fbnomore's comment does make sense. You said "People who take their life feel like it's the only way out. They will not be thinking about the consequence of their actions."

That is selfish behaviour i.e they are lacking in consideration for others.

i cant do cut and pastes right now. you say they are thinking of only one thing, and that is their own pain and how they can end their own pain and nothing else
exactly what i said. they are selfish.

being ill doesnt mean you are not selfish. mental illness is a difficult thing. it doesnt mean that all people who are mentally ill are so selfish they cant see beyond themselves.

May I just suggest that everyone takes a moment to think. Think how you would feel to be told that your son/daughter/mother/father etc had died. That they had stood in front of a train. Think how utterly desolate you would feel.

Now think about how you would feel if, having just found that out, you saw a random facebook message denouncing your loved one as selfish, just because some pig-ignorant, self-obsessed twat had to wait for their dinner.

everlong I am very sorry about your son, I truly am.

However I do have my own experience with suicide and it leaves me thinking the victim is nothing but selfish.

Edam...have a heart fgs! You may not expect strangers to feel emotional about your loved ones but there are people out there who would feel emotional even at the most tenuous link. A neighbour who had fallen poorly, a relative of a friend who I didn't really know, a stranger in the street who had suffered a heart attack. Personally I actually would give them probably more than a few minutes of my time thinking of them. And, hell yes, even the inconsiderate bastard who had jumped in front of the train ( can't be arsed learning the emotions but put the sarcastic one in here).

So you think that people who commit suicide don't give a toss about what others think of them being dead and all? Have you even considered the fact that they actually give a huge fucking toss and absolutely and resolutely believe that their loved ones would be better off without them? And in their poor, ill minds they believe that they are taking the absolute correct and only option left to them?

Everlong...my condolences to you fwiw. Which probably isn't a huge worth because recovering from losing a loved one to suicide is a very long, dark and bumpy road. I don't think that my mum will ever recover regardless of how many well wishes she receives. Ignore the fools on here who are so quick to offer their views on the "selfish" act of suicide. My sister contemplated it long and hard and this whole conversation was raised to which her response was, "you are the selfish ones for wanting me to stay here". Such was her torment :(

We cannot imagine being in their shoes and believing that this was their only option left. We wouldn't be here now merrily posting on the Internet if we had ever gotten to that point. The ignorance and lack of compassion shown on this thread is why there is still such a stigma surrounding mental illness and contributes to the shoddy care that the mentally ill receive in this country.

i don't actually think its pig ignorant or self obsessed.

~I was actually at a station when a woman threw herself of the bridge and onto the tracks.

at that moment a few things can be described - and they don't necessarily cancel each other out

1. you feel devestated for the person and their family
2. you feel shock and numbness at what you yourself have just witnessed
3. you have to consider getting to work/childcare/ parking - it doesn't stop becuae a tradgedy happened. and i certainly felt anger and frustration at having to witness that.

Whilst feeling the above things, i don't think it is unreasonable to also think that it is an utterly selfish act. Yes i recognise that the person is very likley to have a mental illness, yet i am still angry at their selfishness.

I experienced the same anger at my own mothers death (non suicide related but complicated)

now to be angry at the dead is indeed futile and rubbish, yet a valid emotion non the less.

so i think that one has to seperate out this from the insensitivity of the way these things are relayed online.

yes it is insensitive.

However i can't comdemn it necessarily, becuase if you're a regular commuter, this is something you will experience fairly regularly. Can you imagine experiencing or being caught up in those circumstances fairly regularly? If you didn't treat it with black humour or mild annoyance, it could become quite traumatic to think about actually.

Rosehill - you said everything that I wanted to say but more eloquently.

off topic i once saw a man chuck him self of a block of flats i was preg with dd1 shes now 20 still think to this day very sad ,:(

I am far from ignorant of the realities of living with and being dependant on a person who is determined to attempt to commit suicide. I do not want my mum to die, I want her to get better but at the same time if she succeeds it will be a relief because I won't have to worry about her anymore.

Ditto everlong. It's not just my mum who will never recover. It's all of us. My sisters especially the one who found her and tried to revive her, her two young children, all of her nieces and nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles, friends....the list goes on.

And yes, probably the random neighbour who tried to help revive her too...thank god for people who actually care, eh? Instead of huffing and puffing about an inconvenience to their day?

The trauma that all of the above have experienced, the endless counselling for all of the children involved, the tears shed, the two year long inquest that we fought with the nhs for failing in her care, i cant deny the huge stress that all of this brought....but not one moment of anger x