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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have just sent my 5yr old to bed without dinner ?

120 replies

CoffeeDog · 09/01/2012 17:21

just walked up to local shops (5min walk) whilst we were in there she kicked/punched/pushed me repeatedley because i wouldn't buy x y z ? Got Really stroppy when i told her there would be NO moshi monsters today/tomorrow and increased the kicking my leg hurts like a bitch now

If i didnt despratley need milk/bread for breakfast i would have marched them all straight home... but no i had to stand i a long queue with her screaming and attacking me... thankfull very nice man behind me reminded me that this was him yesterday and will be somone else in a hour ;)

So we marched home and i have thrown her in her room (removed cd player) put her pj on her bed and told her i will not see her untill morning.

AIBU not to let her out for tea later / see daddy - he gets in at 630-645?

OP posts:

thepeoplesprincess · 09/01/2012 17:23

YABU to starve her. Sorry. We're not in the 1600s any more.

StrandedBear · 09/01/2012 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kayano · 09/01/2012 17:23

The kicking/ attacking sounds really bad! I don't know what I would do having never dealt with a 5 yo but that is bad behaviour

threeprinces · 09/01/2012 17:24

I agree YABU, food is a right not a privilege.

AFuckingKnackeredWoman · 09/01/2012 17:25

Send her to her room by all means but don't stop food as a punishment.

margoandjerry · 09/01/2012 17:25

Not unreasonable at all. She's not going to starve, she's just going to be miserable for an evening.

DontCryWithYourMouthFull · 09/01/2012 17:25

Oh that is mean, really mean and completely ott. She is only for fuck'sack !

youngwomanwholivesinashoe · 09/01/2012 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChunkyMonkeyMother · 09/01/2012 17:26

I am not going to say you're being unreasonable but I will say you will regret removing food as she probably won't settle with an empty tummy - maybe dinner, no pudd and no Dad? Otherwise it'll only backfire and you'll get the brunt of a hungry child which is never fun

KwaziiHunt · 09/01/2012 17:26

You do need to feed her.
Is she exhausted? Give her dinner, then straight to bed.

She won't sleep if hungry anyway and tomorrow will be worse.

carrotsandcelery · 09/01/2012 17:26

Can you give her the opportunity to apologise and come down for tea, then go back to her room?

Her behaviour was poor but not feeding her will only make her more grumpy.

If she won't apologise then I would put a sandwich and drink on a tray in her room at least.

hellhasnofury · 09/01/2012 17:27

If you are serious about this it is wrong to use food as a punishment. Heck even prisoners get fed.

Callisto · 09/01/2012 17:27

She sounds a nightmare and obviously needs to realise that this behaviour isn't acceptable. But she is 5 fgs, you can't just not feed her. Perhaps you should look at how you dealt with her kicking you (not something I would put up with beyond once - repeated kicking just wouldn't happen) and next time send your husband to the shop when he gets home.

usualsuspect · 09/01/2012 17:27

YABU ,give her some dinner

LaurieFairyCake · 09/01/2012 17:27

It's probably a bit of an over reaction for her age - when's her bedtime?

If you feel like retracting you could still leave her in her room and not 'see' her by popping a sandwich round the door.

Bloodymary · 09/01/2012 17:28

Well I am pretty sure that I would have done the same as yourself OP.

However, I would put my head around the door some time later and offer a sandwich and a glass of milk.

Good luck.

bananafrosting · 09/01/2012 17:28

I would only ever withhold food for a food-related offence (throwing dinner on floor e.g.). Agree with youngwoman - the punishment is the being removed from the family for the evening - take her a cheese sandwich and apple or whatever and a glass of water.

MrsTwinks · 09/01/2012 17:28

YABU to not give her food. Sorry my mum did this to me and, yeah so not right.

That said, I wouldnt back down now you did it, not without an apology or so forth. If thats not forthcoming something to eat alone in her room but not witholding her dinner entirely iykwim.

Original poster

CoffeeDog · 09/01/2012 17:28

I WILL be feeding her shes 5! but i will see if she will appoligise first if not she can eat in her room - not at the table with the rest of us. - but she slamed door in my face when she got home.

i am honestley at a loss as to what to do with her at the minute she is like jekel and hyde. This Kick crap out of mummy is totally out of the blue for me and i am at a loss as to how to deal with her expect take away the things she loves cd player / soft toys / games etc?

OP posts:

KwaziiHunt · 09/01/2012 17:28

My 5 year old would be devastated at not seeing his family all evening.
I know she needs to be punished, but this seems draconian to me.

ladyWinterfell · 09/01/2012 17:29

If you had given them something to eat and drink before you got to the shop you wouldn't have had the bad behaviour in the first place. A 5 year old come out of school v.tired and hungry, feed them at the gate and see the wondrous transformation

Silverlace · 09/01/2012 17:29

YABU to deny her any food but not unreasonable to send her to her room. If daddy is home soon can he take her a light supper (sandwich, fruit) and explain that her behaviour is not acceptable?

Time apart will allow you both to calm down.

My 5yo does this sometimes and it really winds me up. He wants everything he sees and can do just the same as you have described.

SaraBellumHertz · 09/01/2012 17:29

Not feeding as punishment is wholly inappropriate IMO, although I can absolutely understand the wish to put her in her room after her behaviour.

ChocolateTeacup · 09/01/2012 17:29

Of Course YABU, you are angry and embarrassed and you both need space from each other, but you don't starve a child. Get an apology, have a talk, have dinner then bed

ShineYourButtonsWithBrasso · 09/01/2012 17:29

Agree with sending her to her room but you do need to give her the opportunity to say sorry and have some dinner.

Has she behaved like that before? Is there anything else going on to cause her to display this behaviour?

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