The OFFICIAL AIBU buddy bench/naughty bench thread NO 7

[ElmoFan]

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tiredmum, teaandcake, valiumredhead and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

Nice and mild here too . It's kind of creepy like the calm before the storm

Exactly, Elmo!

We have lots of snow now, but the temperature has been quite kind to us so far. It is close to -30 in a good chunk of the country this week, and is fifteen degrees colder than that with the windchill. We are just waiting for it to hammer us!

Strange. But we'll take the moderation while we can get it! :)

hello ladies its blooming cold here but reading your comments i think we get it easy although i bet you deal with it better, one but of snow or ice and the whole of west yorkshire stops!!! well day from hell, failed audit massively, not all my fault but all got my name on it (i tried damage limitations) (i look after three branches and one of the other branches having audit next tuesday) the angelic dd1 has come home with detention for forgetting homework and i have just spend the last hour being an "elephant" with 22 Rainbows and theres no wine in the fridge and why cant anyone drive like normal people on motorway and drive through avaerage speed cameras at the correct speed instead of speeding up slowing down like idiots!!!

thanks feel better now, rant over

Can I just have a minor grumble? Feel free to ignore me.

Fecking period pains, fecking playstations, fecking work, fecking lack of M and M's in the house. GRRRRRRRRRR!

[bringing M and M's to bench] for you lady, sounds like your day pants as well?

Rants are good. Sorry you're having bad days Jammy and Flump.

I am too. :( DS is being terrible and I'm afraid I screamed at him. And slammed my door so hard I hurt my wrist. Just who exactly is the adult here?

He's just been so awful and defiant lately, really not like himself, and I can't stand it. And my parents were screamers and smackers and I was terrified of them and really don't want to be like that. It was awful.

So I have taken a somewhat drastic step. I made three tickets and put them on the fridge. I told him when Daddy or I ask him to do something he needs to do it or we will count to three and then remove a ticket. When all the tickets are gone, he is going to his room. Until bedtime. He will be able to come out to eat of course but that's it.

I feel awful even typing that out, but sometimes when he is being naughty I feel like if I do not have the time away from him I will scream or smack him. And his room is comfortable and full of toys and books, it's hardly a pit in Siberia.

I just feel the need to do something, between work and his behavior and trying to sort out my house I am slowly going mad. :(

its does not sound like you are slowly going mad at all, it sounds like you have taken stock of the situation, found a solution and put that into practice, well done you

Ugh, that's not good Jammy, what happens now? :(

Rant away, Lady, period pains are wretched.

Don't feel awful Cheerful. I fear we are going through this stage together. Last week I had to take DS' favourite toy away and he was devastated. I felt like the very worst, most cruel mummy on earth. I had warned him before that I would, but he did not think I would do it, then I was forced to follow through. :( He did spend a week earning it back, with only one real slip, and it did actually make a big difference, but UGH it feels so bad. :(

The tickets sound like a creative solution. Probably wouldn't work for us as DS' favourite place is his room though. My parents were like yours and I am determined not to be similar but he is at a stage now where we need to do something. Hiding in the bathroom for a minute or two whilst I calm down sounds a bit pathetic, but fwiw, it stops me getting too upset.

He has actually lost all his tickets and is in his room now. :( He doesn't seem to mind, but it's a long time til bedtime so we'll see how he feels in a few hours!

At first I thought, I want it to really bother him so he goes out of his way not to do it again, but then I figured, well, whatever. I just want to kind of want him to realize that he should appreciate being with the rest of the family enough to be nice. Or something.

He is also very visual and I know that all the stuff everywhere (I'm organizing my entire house, for the newbies who don't know :)) is making him act out more than he usually would. But I can't do anything about it if he's having a tantrum every three seconds, so...but of a vicious cycle!

I am also going to print out a visual schedule of his night and morning tasks because I think he will love that. And I'm not above bribery by doling out a quarter for every day he gets them done without complaint! :o (He loves to use his quarters to buy plastic tat from the gumball machines at our local video store)

It just makes me feel better to have a plan, I guess.

I feel for you Flump. :( I hate period pains soooo much, mine are sickening for a day or so every month. I'm luck it's not longer, but oh that day is so awful! Hope you feel better soon!

I just want him to and bit of a vicious cycle and lucky it's not longer.

CRIPES!

have given this some thought (sleepless night got up at 2am to write snotty letter to dd1 teacher after message she left on answer machine)
cheerful am I right in thinking ds is about 4? what age do they go to school there, i vividally remember dd2 pushing boundaries about that age and sort of figured she was "ready to go to school" its a pants time but we had two systems, the "naughty step" as she also liked going to her room but the step was no fun and a "star chart" where she was rewarded with stars for good behaviour and if she filled up a column, there was a treat at the end, she could choose an activity/family film or a friend round to play, it seemed to work for her
thanks gomummy, will have to face the music this morning with big boss, have been racking my brains out as to what to say as the truth lands my immediate boss in trouble and technically speaking the book stops with him but its not his fault either
did the snow come? have visions of you all digging your way out!!!

Hello! I AM here but just flying by to say hello, got family staying so have been busy. Back in a couple of days to catch up properly. yanky I am VERY excited about you ttc!!!!!

go it's -1 here today - I thought of you!

Hi Valium! :) It's -14 your temp today, and the wind is FREEZING so it feels much lower. Brrrr!

Jammy he is four. :) He goes to preschool every morning for a few hours, but they don't start full-time school til at least 5. Because DS has a late birthday (mid July) he probably won't go til he's 6. So he'll have another year of preschool next year (I send him to 2 different schools in our town so he can go every day) and then will start kindergarten in September '13.

Hi all another one just checking in, ds1 has been off sick again, so that was two days off last week and now another, I am not a happy bunny it's not fair on him, I have a sneaky suspicion that some parents are not keeping their kids off for the 48 hours grrrrrrr they know it's bad round here at the mo even the hospital has shut wards cos its doing the rounds in there.

Oh well I have my dettol on hand so have to keep blitzing the house praying the rest of us will be okay

Sorry that turned into a mini rant, I'll pop back later x

another 2 - is what I meant to put

Ooh Valium, your -1! Hope you have a lovely time with your guests!

Yep, still snowing actually Jammy! Wicked drive last night but I made it. I bet your sleepless night was rough. You have to tell the truth though, even if the buck does stop with your immediate boss and you probably hate how that feels. There is just nothing to be gained by going any other route... Good luck, tough position to be in.

Grr for you Tiredmum @ people sending their kids in too soon and making others ill, how frustrating for you. You're entitled to rant. How on earth you manage to keep DS2 from getting it from DS1 I don't know!

How did it go with DS Cheerful? Staying in his room I mean.

He got upset but I just would say "You made your choice" and then ignore him. And DH backed me up when he got home, so that was good.

He still has all his tickets today...I think the six hours in his room yesterday may have done him some good. :o

Wow Cheerful that must have been tough for you! Glad you are seeing results!

Have just found out that a friend of mine (well, an acquaintance, we talk now and then on facebook and see each other socially a few times a year) has discovered that the daycare lady has been giving her daughter Benadryl every day to make her nap. Don't know if you have Benadryl there; it's an allergy med that makes you drowsy. She was giving my friend's daughter, who is five and little for her age, almost the adult dose EVERY DAY. I am not violent but I would rip that woman's face off if that were DS! I am just fuming. I can't believe that she would do that; the doctors are saying that the little girl will be fine but they did have to check her for organ damage.

I am in shock, seriously!

Cheerful that is bloody disgusting, how could anyone be that stupid, please tell me she will get into a lot of trouble for it, she deserves everything that's thrown at her.

Also I am pleased the little girl is gonna be ok, it could have been so much worse

I guess she was giving it to a smaller girl too?! How could she be so stupid, what if one of them were deathly allergic?

It just happened so I don't know what's going to happen to her. I hope a lot.

When I taught preschool, we used to joke about how much better the kids napped during cold season, because of their cough medicine. It makes me sick that someone would actually stoop that low!

It's alright to joke about it but actually doing she obviously didn't give a toss about the child's health, she is a moron, her patents must be livid, i hope they sue her, stupid woman

Stupid autocorrect parents is what it should say

That's dreadful. Heck would she even sleep at night at age 5 after a huge nap in the day? How on Earth did she find out? I hope the cops throw the book at her quite frankly.