The OFFICIAL AIBU buddy bench/naughty bench thread NO 7

[ElmoFan]

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tiredmum, teaandcake, valiumredhead and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

And what do you do when he gets terribly upset go my love? I am guessing you back down and interact. You HAVE to be consistent WITHOUT FAIL (unless he is ill!) xxx

OK, this is what I did - ds was nearly 3 and I had not had ONE unbroken night EVER!!!!

Tell him that mummy loves him very much but being disturbed in the night is making you cranky and you can't be a nice patient mum if you are cranky and he can't manage on not enough sleep either. Tell him tonight you will say your good night and have stories but after that you won't be getting up and won't be talking until morning time when the alarm goes off (you could let him have an alarm clock) and IF he gets up you will take him back to bed.

The first 2 or 3 nights will be the hardest but it will get better xxx

Truthfully...I fold like a deck of cards. I go in and cuddle with him in the big chair until he is calm again. He is then pleased and goes to bed for a while until the next round.

In my defense, we've always been so routine driven, never had this problem until now, the only time he'd call out in the night was if he was ill so I always went and comforted him withotu fail. This doing it for no reason thing is new to me. But I see how I am screwing up enormously.

Oh he has a clock and can tell time...if DH speaks in the hallway he will tell him "There is no talking until seven o'clock, Daddy! You must wait for the short hand to be on the seven and the long hand to be on the twelve!" And then proceed to sing the Thomas song because "it's singing, not talking." Argh.

Had a big talk with him last night and hoping that's what helped, but not sure. I'm feeling much more determined now though. Hope it continues later!

If he sings, let him - just don't respond!

Some things I have found helpful were to make sure DS got outside for a good long romp every day...no matter what the weather. Today it is sleeting and snowing but he is all bundled up on top of his pjs because I am a lazy mare and running around outside. I also force have him walk the dog with me every day for a good long walk. The more fresh air he has, the less he wakes, it seems.

Other things that have helped are white noise (just a fan usually), and putting a little bit of water in a bottle beside his bed with the stern admonition that he is not to wake me for a drink as he as one beside him. :) Also keeping the house cool at night...our upstairs gets so stuffy at night if we don't, and we all have trouble sleeping.

It is so hard to ignore them, but I just keep repeating to myself "he's not a baby anymore....he's not a baby anymore...." I think that is the hardest part when they're onlies like ours are! :) Best of luck!

for GoMummy when she appears. Be strong love x

Hope your night went ok go xx

YY to outside for a romp as yanky says!

How's everyone else this morning? The weather is meant to get up to 15 degrees on Weds - it was 2 on Sunday!

Ooo lovely I can wash and hang out all my towels and bedding.

Clean clean clean scrub scrub scrub

Blooming housework, I can't be bothered, but it won't do it itself I suppose.

Hope everything is ok Gomummy

Urghhhhh I have just cleared the pile of washing - it took AGES!!

I have stuff out on the line as it's so sunny

I know I know I hung out a full load at 8am this morning and have just taken them in now DRY looks like it's going to rain now though .
lol

Hello lovely benchers! :) Tiredmum if I was closer I'd come help you clean!

@ + 15 weather coming to you!!! I can't WAIT until I can get the laundry back on the line again!

I think you might be onto something with that Cheerful & Valium. It was Family Day here yesterday and we were out and about a lot and DS slept well last night. The weather's been a bit miserable lately and DS hasn't been wanting to go outside, it does coincide with the demise of our good sleeping habits. Will have to make more of an effort to force us to get out.

I am SO looking forward to spring. DH says March is going to be full of brutal snowstorms as winter has been gentle to us so far this year. Miserable thing to say!

Hope the DCs are continuing to feel better on your end Elmo.

I've noticed that with my DS as well GoMummy. He has been a bit of a bear to get outside, and I just made a hard and fast rule that he cannot have any DVD time until he goes out. I hold that TV over his head for everything...

Whatever works! :) He's not a fan of winter, that's for sure, might have to give bribery a shot. Think you're onto something about the needing to get out though, the more I think about it the more it makes sense with the timing of the start of the fractured nights and the unpleasant weather we've had.

Took him out sliding in the backyard earlier, however, when I think about it...here I am still trying to get my heartrate back to normal, and really, he just got to sit in the sleigh.

Note to self - next time I shall sit in the sleigh.

Oh yes fresh air is an absolute must ime. I dragged ds very morning come rain or shine - he would've climbed the walls otherwise, I realise it's easier here with our winters though.

Awwww would ya Gomummy you are so kind, someone send a plane for Gomummy aka Monica, well I won't turn down a bit of help

It was a bit chilly out there this morning with that cold wind, I am now having a relaxing cuppa

Outside is not an option every day obviously with the weather, but has to happen more often whether he wants to or not! I am also going to try to get back into our regular activities as the roads are better now (had to cancel a lot this year), knock on wood.

DS slept OK last night, woke up, told an entire story about how the dinosaurs became extinct then went back to sleep without yelling for me to go in. Then he was up at 5, which is normally too early but I wanted to praise him up for not calling me in all night, so early start was alright.

I shall begin packing Tiredmum, and won't forget my favourite rubber gloves and Flylady tools. Crack a bottle of white an we'll have the place and our eyes sparkling in no time, lol!

Off to bed for me shortly, v. busy exciting day today. Night all! :)

I wish you could stop by here too! I love having a nice tidy house but it's so hard for me to do sometimes.

Glad your DS did a bit better. Mine was a screaming nightmare this evening, just awful and defiant and hysterical about everything. :( DH went to church and I told DS it was time for bed as soon as he finished dinner, which was at 7:15 because of all his histronics beforehand. So I got him into his pj's, ignored his protests, brushed his teeth, tucked him in, and went downstairs to put in a load of laundry. When I peeked in on him at 7:30 he was sound asleep. so he must have been really exhausted!

Then I spent the evening lying in a bath (ahhhh... :)) and reading a new book I got from the library. It's this one, a memoir that begins with the author's son dying of muscular dystrophy. :( I was sobbing by page 20, and had to go upstairs and watch DS sleep for a little bit, and then I felt so awful for being so angry with him earlier. He is safe and healthy and I should be gasping with gratitude about that every second, but he doesn't half test me sometimes!

Oh well. Tomorrow is another chance to be more patient, eh?

Good news go, that sounds like an improvement although 5 is the middle of the night still in this house! Anything after 6 is fine

Oh God yanky I can't read books like that

tired got your washing on yet? Meant to be the warmest Thursday in Feb on record for years apparently!

Oh Cheerful, I so know what you are saying. We are so blessed to have them. But it can still be so trying! I spend far too much time watching DS sleep and feeling so badly for any frustration I've had that day.

Your evening lying in the bath reading does sound lovely though! :)

Well I think we may have cracked it. DS well exercised yesterday and though I heard him wake in the night, he didn't call out for me until shortly after 5. And yes, Valium, it is totally night time to me too but it's a step in the right direction right now. :)

I am SO of you all having your washing on the line!!! mmmm...lovely fresh laundry....

Can I ask what your warmest Feb Thursday on record is supposed to be?

So my friend...the tattooed punk whose daughter was being drugged is pregnant. And thrilled. The father of the baby is less so. He sent her $600 to have an abortion (she told me she cashed the check and paid bills and bought shoes :o) and is telling her that if she does not abort he will kill himself and she will be 90% responsible.

What is it with men? I know apparently women are the emotional ones but good God. And here she is, 23 years old with a five year old daughter already, and she's just getting on with it. Saved all her money to buy a house last year because she wanted that for her daughter, fully prepared to be a single mom to two...just getting on with it and being brave.

I could f%cking kill that man, I swear.

Oh dear. :( What a horrible man. I am at a loss for words. Your poor friend.