The OFFICIAL AIBU buddy bench/naughty bench thread NO 7

[ElmoFan]

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tiredmum, teaandcake, valiumredhead and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

Is everything OK Elmo? We're here if you want to talk about it.

How are you feeling about it now, Tea?

All good advice for dealing with JW door knockers, thank you. It's getting to be a bit much, a bit too often. I'm such a strange person. I can be very blunt in some situations, but in others, I'm terribly afraid of being rude and causing offense.

Ahhh Cheerful, but was it a fake number, or someone else you knew?

Elmo I deal with telemarketers who phone at dinnertime the way your DH deals with JWs. Yet for some reason they never want to give me their home number to call them back at their dinnertime.

How was the first day Tiredmum?

I find 'No thank you I am Catholic' works a treat with the JW's we have round here. I find it EXTREMELY rude to come and knock on my door and interrupt my day......

Phwoar a pilot? Ding dong!

I have a front room full of boys again for a sleep over

tired that was VERY close to me when you were shopping in Morrisons

I was just making dinner (won't be dinner time for quite awhile, but I threw it together so DH and DS can heat 'n' eat while I'm at work). I ended up using a lot of our leftovers to make a pork\broccoli\cheddar casserole (luckily they're not picky! :o) and I had a thought: has the recession made our generation the new Depressioners?

I actually started a thread about this once, how I think everyone who has tried to raise a family during these tough times is permanently changed. I remember my Depression era relatives refusing to indulge in the slightest bit of waste, mending old clothes, etc. I always thought they were loony and now I wish I could learn from them! :)

When I think of all the brown bananas I used to throw away...now they go straight into pancakes or whatever. I feel sort of...uncomfortable, or greedy or something, with the idea of spending money on nonsense.

Anyway, just something I was thinking about and you were the only ones around to discuss it with. :) Excuse any typos, I'm posting from my phone!

Books from the depression era, especially cookbooks, are FAB! :) I am the same way about waste, but for a bit of a different reason...and it's hard to spell out. DH says that I have complete disdain for wastefulness. Sort of a disgust. I'm not sure why, really, but part of it probably stems from childhood trauma.

I developed a bit of a horrible attitude as a child about my (depression-era) GPs approach to saving/repairing/reusing everything, particularly because I knew that they were financially comfortable. I was WELL told off and made to feel utterly utterly utterly ashamed. They taught me a lot of useful things after that, but I still remember being SO humiliated and feeling like a terrible spoiled brat! Even typing that my face goes red remembering how quickly they ground that attitude out of me!

Anyway, I digress. Depression era strategies are wonderful. Especially the food creativity. Do you have a favourite tip?

I am so upset and frustrated and exhausted. DS has kept me up LITERALLY all night. Yesterday I was complaining of how tired I was and here I am now having had zero minutes of sleep. He yelled for something about every 30 minutes all night long. Ridiculous things, like one of his stuffed toys was tickling him or he thought the cat might be playing with another animal and wanted to see. Finally at 5:30 I was so frustrated that I didn't go in and answer him. He started wailing, like really crying hard that I didn't answer him, so now we're up for the day! Somehow he is up jumping around like an orangutang, but I am wiped and frustrated. This has been getting worse and worse but last night was by far the worst. Yet it doesn't seem to phase him and he is not tired or any different during the day. I don't know what to do. Any advice appreciated. All I want to do is cry, but I know that is just because I am so tired. :(

Hi all,

Gomummy the first day is tomorrow

Valium I shall wave to you when I am next at morrisons

Hope you are all good

:( Gomummy < HUGS> . It's horrible when you get little or no sleep .
Is there any chance of you going back to bed for a couple of hours and let dh look after ds ? You will need to catch up on some sleep in order to function properly xxx
My two dc's are sick . I had ds at the doctors on Friday and now i've had to make an appointment for OOH's doctor for today at 3pm . Her temp is just not coming down regardless of giving her Calpol & nurofen .

Tiredmum - Sending good luck wishes for your Dh & ds's for tomorrow xxx

Oh Elmo I'm so sorry to hear that they're both ill. :( Is it a flu type thing? With her temp not breaking from the meds, would she do a lukewarm bath or anything like that to try to cool her off? Poor wee thing. Is DS improved from Friday?

No possibility of sleep here unfortunately. I am just so frustrated with DS, this has been going on for a few months but started as just once or twice a night, now it is unmanagable and I really don't know what to do. He swears up and down before bed that he won't do it. I've taken his favourite toy away about a week ago and said he could earn him back if he didn't wake us up for no reason. He says he forgets. He thinks it's funny. I don't. :(

Sorry Tiredmum! Brain not engaged!

On our way to hospital with dd :-(

Marc Weissbluth's healthy sleep habits, happy child. Buy it.

And tell him you're not coming in at all over night, put your ear plugs in and don't. If it was really bad, he'd come and find you. Don't feel guilty, you're a good mum. But doing this is part of being a good mum. His Cortisol levels will be through the roof. He needs the sleep to grow and his brain to develop. You need sleep to function. Lay the smack down. Time for big bad mom to come out. I know he is a much longed for and loved child, but this has to be done. Do not feel bad.

Gomummy you make me giggle

Oh Elmo, thinking of you, let us know how she is when you can, praying its not serious , thank you for the good luck wishes. Just take care of you and dd

Hope DD feels better soon Elmo.

Aw, Gomummy, it is so hard when your sleep is fractured! After DS did that recently I told him that he could not have TV the next day if he woke at night, and that did it. But he really likes his TV! :)

Another time he was up a lot of times, in the morning I gave him a granola bar and said he could not come out of his room because I needed my rest. I said "since you took all my rest away last night, I will have to rest in the morning."

What does your DH say?

Hope DD is ok, Elmo, please let us know. Sending you good thoughts and will say a prayer for her tonight.

Oh Tea I know you are right, but how do you actually do that? We've always been so routine oriented, especially re: sleep. This is a different problem though, might search the book on amazon in the morning. Need to do something, I am exhausted.

DH is of little help on this one, Cheerful. He travels for work so is often not here for it, and even when he is home, DS only wants me in the night.

Speaking of which, I should go try to sleep while I can. I imagine you'll all be getting up shortly!

You could go straight up Super Nanny and just not reply to him at all, just continue to put him back to bed with no interaction? If you go over it during the day and say, "Our bodies need sleep or we will get sick and Mummy will be very grumpy. When you call at night, if it is not important, I am not going to come in and talk to you. For you to grow and for me to be a happy mummy I need to rest," and then reiterate that you will not be going in to him, will that help?

How far away is his room from yours? Our room isn't that far away from DS' so I can just call out and say "No, you are okay, this is sleeping time and we are not getting out of bed." It is hard when they get so upset, DS does that in the middle of the night too. Good luck! Be firm! :)

How! Think you need to be cross enough

Get the book it's good x

That was meant to be a question mark, not an exclamation mark!

Sorry i didnt get back to update sooner. We are home
now. Dd's fever took over 7 hours to break:-( the hospital
gave her the maximum dosage of medicines & antibiotics but
her temp stayed between 38 -39.7. In the end at 11pm last night
a nurse told us to stand outside the hospital with dd only wearing
a t-shirt for 10 minutes:0. Cruel? but it worked enough to take her.
She has an ear infection. Been signed off school for a few days.
Ds is off school too as he a throat & chest infection.
Sorry if this sounds jumbled, so tired & on my phone.
Xx

Elmo that must have been awful for her and you, its scary when that happens, I am glad you managed to get the temp back down. I hope you all get some rest today and that dd and ds start to get on the mend quick

Glad she's home, poor thing! I hate ear infections, DS is always so sick when he gets them too.

go keep taking him back to bed with NO interaction or conversation at all - simply "back to bed, it's bed time" the first time then NOTHING afterwards. Seriously, it's a habit that needs to be broken, he's doing it because you are allowing him to do it iyswim? I have been in your position and it took exactly 2 nights before ds was the best sleeper in the whole world - we were about to be referred to a sleep clinic and I was on my knees with tiredness. We teach our kids to eat food, drink from beakers etc we also need to train them to sleep xxx

elmo Oh how worrying ear infections are hideously painful x

I remember ds HOWLING in the middles of the night "But MUMEEEEEEEEEEE I love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much" I just had to say 'back to bed' and that was the last time he tried it on

Oh Elmo, poor DD! :( And poor you. That actually sounds similar to advice we had from GP last year when DS had an ear infection and I thought it v. strange - when the temp wasn't coming down he said to keep him in a t-shirt and underwear, no pants, and take him to the basement (where it was quite chilly). Same thing for bed, no pj bottoms. Odd.

Glad she's home, hope things are looking up today.

Cheerful, DS' bedroom is across the hall from ours; our actual beds are only about 12 feet apart. I can hear him breathe, so could definitely try answering like that. Wonder what he'd think? Definitely worth a shot.

Last night was good for him staying quiet until 5am, (which he told me he was not happy about!) but for some reason I don't have a good feeling about tonight. If I don't go in he gets so upset and admittedly I then feel terrible. :( Same result when I try the Supernanny thing as all he wants is interaction and gets terribly upset if I don't give it to him.

Yes I just read that back to myself and I see it. I know you are right Tea.

I will likely be back here in bits around 2am . Since many of you will be having breakfast by then, perhaps you can share a virtual with me.

x-post Valium. Oh that one so gets me!! "But Muuuummmy! I loooove you!"

Rod. Back. I know. I see it now in my own typing.

I am wrapped around his little finger.