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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

The OFFICIAL AIBU buddy bench/naughty bench thread NO 7

995 replies

ElmoFan · 08/01/2012 16:44

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tiredmum, teaandcake, valiumredhead and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

OP posts:
Original poster
ElmoFan · 07/02/2012 15:03

E is now bullying another boy in ds's class :( this boy has Dyslexia And epilepsy
and E keeps calling him "a retard" right in front of the teachers and gets away scot free with it , so some kid decided to tell the year head on E for a change and the year head threatened this boy with a 40 minute detention for "telling tales" . The mind boggles .

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 07/02/2012 15:09

The longer ds is in school and the more contact I have with teachers, the more I think that SOME teachers have no clue whatsoever and I do wonder if they have ever had any contact with small children at all!!!

CheerfulYank · 07/02/2012 15:12

She sounds nuts and I'd have some choice words for her! Angry She seems like she really likes E for some reason, does she know his parents?

Original poster
ElmoFan · 07/02/2012 15:13

I know , scary isn't it .... The year head told the principal that my ds is lying about her screaming & pointing her finger in his face & calling him a liar . Ds is threatening to put his mobile onto voice record the next time he gets called into the year heads office to prove what she is saying to him that has to be illegal though ????

OP posts:
Original poster
ElmoFan · 07/02/2012 15:17

Hiya cheerful :)

yes she mentions E's parents by their first names yet insists on calling dh & I Mr & mrs **

We had ds's teacher /parents evening last night . All 11 of his teachers said " he's a great kid" :) :) (proud mum emoticon) so really can't understand why the year head seems to dislike him so much :(

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 07/02/2012 15:28

Why would it be illegal? He could say he left it on by accident. I actually think that's a good idea...

valiumredhead · 07/02/2012 15:30

I second the phone idea!!!!!

Original poster
ElmoFan · 07/02/2012 15:34

Really !!! Do you think he could get away with it ? He is not allowed to have his phone with him in school , but i could say that i insist on him having his phone with him at all times seeing as we live 7.5 miles distance from this school with no bus route and he often gets let out early due to having a free class and needs to be able to contact me to let me know .

Would that excuse be good enough do you think :) ?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 07/02/2012 15:59

Ds isn't allowed to have his phone in school either BUT if he hands it into the office he is 10 - 15 mins late sometimes as the queue to pick them up is so long. I let him have it in his bag but it must be turned off.

Original poster
ElmoFan · 07/02/2012 16:15

Think we will let ds go ahead then and just keep our fingers crossed that he doesn't get caught out . It looks like the only way we will be able to catch this year head out .

Thanks xxxx

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 07/02/2012 16:29

Shock Elmo that is terrible, I agree with Valium about the school governors, or your local education authority, I would be putting in one huge complaint, I hope you have kept the phone records, just in case. Things like this need to be sorted, and yup she sounds deemented.

No doubt the mother thinks the sun shines outta her sons backside, she has a lot to answer to, he won't get very far in this world behaving like that, remember what goes around comes around, one day he will regret doing it.

But that horrid teacher does need to be complained about IMO.

Make sure you keep us updated, I know it's a horrid feeling, my ds has been back in a similar situation which I will be back to explain in a little while, I am seething with this school now, it just never stops.

Tiredmumno1 · 07/02/2012 16:31

And another vote here for the phone idea

Busyoldfool · 07/02/2012 16:55

Hi Elmo - so sorry to hear this. Your poor DS. I wd also agree to the phone idea and keep the phone records too. Carefully assemble the evidence and then take it to the principal with a clear idea of what you want. It sounds as if there are two problems; E and the HoYr. My instinct is that if E were out of the way maybe your DS wouldn't have to have too much contact with the HoYr. Is E the only reason DS gets hauled in front of her? I wd certainly re-think the project as it gives E a chance to make more trouble - but I don't know the circumstances - you'll know best. Cd E move classes perhaps?

I too suspect that there is some sort of relationship between E's parents and the head of year.

I really feel for you though - but your DS seems to be handling things brilliantly.

Original poster
ElmoFan · 07/02/2012 17:00

Tiredmum :( Hope your ds is ok ? xx

Oh yes i kept the phone records :)

OP posts:
Original poster
ElmoFan · 07/02/2012 17:13

Thanks Busy :)

I have to say we all think the year head must be related to E too . It's the only thing that would make sense to this situation . Spot on busy , if E was not in ds's class he would not have any dealings with the year head at all . I have asked for ds or E to be moved to another class but was told it can't happen this year but maybe next year it could be possible. Thing is I'm guessing it will be my ds taken away from his friends :(

Ds is home from school now and has told me his Tutor had a word with him this morning about the project with E . His tutor has told ds that he will not be forced to do this project and that if ds doesn't want to do it she will talk to the year head on ds's behalf , Ds told her that he is happy to give it a try and his tutor told him he was to go straight to her if E causes any more problems. :) looks like she knows what E is really like :)

OP posts:
Busyoldfool · 07/02/2012 19:10

That sounds positive Elmo. Keep us posted. I'd be really interested to see how things go. Your DS shouldn't be forced to move and you should hold out for E being moved of you can.

Tiredmum Hope that little DS gets better soon. Yours too Valium. My DS is also off school today but suspect that he is older and is actually ok with the computer, the tv and some peace. (Same sort of thing, cough, slight temp etc). I used to hate it when they were little but they can handle being unwell now so I can.

gomummygo · 07/02/2012 20:09

Hello all. :) Back up and running, I have missed the bench!!!

Poor DS, Elmo. :( Just when things were going well. Would be wondering the same as Cheerful - does this teacher have some kind of relationship with E's parents? Another vote for the phone idea.

Regarding the legality of audio recording (here anyway) - legally one person in a conversation must be aware that a recording is taking place, which in this case would be your DS. It is illegal to audio/video record a conversation, in a location where there is a "reasonable expectation of privacy," where no parties to the conversation are aware (ie. "bugging" a room). But if your laws are similar to ours, DS' awareness is enough in a private room.

Recently a similar situation has taken place in the US. The poor teenage boy was not believed until he recorded video of the teacher's behaviour on his phone.

Hope all of your DSs are feeling better soon, benchers! DS is also unwell but thankfully just a cold, so we are doing a lot of cuddled up reading today.

CheerfulYank · 07/02/2012 20:19

I think it would be hard to prove that he did not, in fact, just leave his mobile on. "Accidentally" like. Wink

Tiredmum can't believe I missed your heating thing, how terrible! I remember one October we had to wait for ours to be turned on; it was less than 10 degrees your temp and we were so cold! I had the same thing, no one could come on a weekend. Angry Glad you got it sorted out! Poor you, especially with our Jamie being so little!

Welcome back Gomummy! Missed you!

Tiredmumno1 · 07/02/2012 21:50

I know cheerful it was awful, I was trying so hard to keep him warm, believe me we were so Angry at the time, but we could not do anything about it, I kept ringing them in the hope they would get annoyed and just give up but no they made us suffer Sad, we have now got the normal meter back in so we have heat and I no longer have to worry Smile

Thanks Elmo and busy, he was a bit perkier today, he slept a lot yesterday.

Welcome back Gomummy, we missed you Smile

Tiredmumno1 · 07/02/2012 21:53

Gomummy give ds hugs from me Smile

Busy I hope your ds is ok quickly as well Smile

gomummygo · 07/02/2012 22:52

Thanks Cheerful & Tiredmum :)

I don't know anything at all about your heating system but your experience sounds dreadful, Tiredmum. Bad enough to be without heat but with a tiny one...

CheerfulYank · 07/02/2012 23:00

They can't turn ours off November-April, but it can get mighty cold around here in October!

Teaandcakeplease · 07/02/2012 23:28

Elmo I am sure if your son secretly records the head of year, and the head teacher hears for themselves just how inappropriate she is being, the last thing they will do is turn around and punish your son for having his phone. They will realise he was driven to this to prove his innocence surely? I think he does need to do this imo Sad

gomummygo · 07/02/2012 23:30

I can imagine, Cheerful!

They can't turn off the electricity here (though it still fails regularly Hmm) from November-April - is that what everyone means by heating? If so, I am hoping that electricity is WAY cheaper where all of you are than it is here!

I read on another thread about state-controlled heating, found that v. scary.

valiumredhead · 08/02/2012 08:33

Morning! :)

Ds is back to school hooray!

I finished The Woman in Black last night - oh my giddy aunt it was creepy!!!

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