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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to envy/hate people on benefits to be as well off if not better than us

999 replies

chocaddict · 08/01/2012 16:08

I know that this post may have some mixed reviews and may even get me slated but I can,t help it.
Someone I know although she is a genuine case her and her husband have as much as me and dh coming in and with a brand new car thrown in for good measure.
I can only dream of a new car and I work my tripe off 5 days a week as well as dh whilst some people can sit at home and get the same income coming in it seems really unfair.

OP posts:
Jux · 08/01/2012 20:53

How neglectful of my parents not to realize I had ms when I was young enough to be starved to death by thentime I was 19!! Actually, I wasn't dx until I was in my 40s, despite a couple of bad attacks which made me leave whatever job I had at the time because I was no longer capable of doing it.

Despite finally retraining, getting a degree, I now sit on my arse all day positively coining it. What's more, I look perfectly OK so can clearly 'do a task or two'. Of course, I can. I can do a task or two at home, like just about getting around the shops and home again. Then I have to rest until it's time to cook supper - that is, I can feed my family. Whoopdidoo!

I would have to arrange to arrive at work about two hours early in order to recover from the journey sufficiently to do whatever (easy) tasks I was contracted to do starting at my contracted time. Then I would need to rest probably every hour for a minimum of 15 minutes in order to do another hour. Then after returning home from work, I would need another couple of hours to rest before I could do anything else.

Meanwhile, (you may have heard this), ms more often than not affects your bladder, so I would be running off to the loo every 20-30 minutes.

Now, I realize that I am an ideal employee, and just to compound that, a week of such frenetic activity would trap me in bed for at least 5 days. So, one week on, one week off. It's no wonder every organisation within a 50 mile radius is begging to employ me.

And at home my dd would only ever see me in bed.

Some people are just so ignorant Grin you can only laugh at them. It's the sort of twaddle you get from 12 year olds, isn't it?

Please do feel free to swap with me, you silly person.Wink

KateSpade · 08/01/2012 20:54

Why, why, why would anyone start this thread intentionally slagging off disabled people?
The op must be really annoyed with her own life or jealous of someone else's?

Slag off benefit cheats all you want, but DLA claimants?

below the belt this is!

BeerTricksP0tter · 08/01/2012 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fallenpetal · 08/01/2012 21:02

Whinging Ninja - Thank you xx I have become accustom to defending myself, if anyone walked in my shoes and saw how often I have to rest even just washing up they would gladly take the shoes back off again!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 08/01/2012 21:04

nothingold
DLA cars are not leased cheaply. They are expensive. Around 80 a week.

Kayano · 08/01/2012 21:06

This whole thread is Shock

madmouse · 08/01/2012 21:09

Motability is a self funding and well run commercial lease scheme. It is decent value for money as it benefits from economy of scale being the largest in Europe and low bad debt as the money is paid straight in by DWP.

Motability does not cost the tax payer a penny!!

nothingoldcanstay · 08/01/2012 21:10

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVerve -
Ok but don't that change anything. Lone parents who don't work can afford them.
Why can't they be affordable to a lone parent who does work then?

WhingingNinja · 08/01/2012 21:14

They aren't available to "lone parents who dont work" unless that lone parent is caring for a child deemed unable to walk a very short distance because it is dangerous.

If you wish to adopt a child that cannot walk, or indeed become immobile yourself in order to get a car that you pay for out of money you would otherwise receive, then don't let any of us stand in your way

RichTeaAreCrap · 08/01/2012 21:14

FFS not another benefits bashing thread which has also turned into bashing people for being disabled and daring to want to have some money for food/basics. I mean, what a liberty wanting to be able to afford such luxuries Hmm

People on benefits are not well off. Fact. It is a miserable life constantly worrying about how they will pay the next bill that is thrown at them. I am out of work at the moment (until tomorrow hopefully) due to being ill. Luckily I have an income from DP and also had some savings, but without these I would be entitled to and expected to live on £67.50 a week. Really, you think this is a nice way to live?

And so fucking what if they have a car? If they need a car to get around why shouldn't they have one? They pay for it.

If you don't believe its shit living on benefits then try it - you are welcome to give up your job, go to the jobcentre, get your benefits and then see how well off you are.

GoingForGoalWeight · 08/01/2012 21:16

I'd give up benefits TODAY if my DS could see his own reflection in the mirror, say his name, know what time of day it is. I gave up my career when DS was diagnosed. In a way I'm pleased you are envious as my DS is a lovely pleasent person, something you are not OP.

I haven't had a holiday for 14 years, i struggle to pay for my hair to be done every 12 weeks, I do not own my own home, I've felt guilty fir years about being on benefits - I've only just stopped feeling that guilt.

molepom · 08/01/2012 21:16

"Ok but don't that change anything. Lone parents who don't work can afford them. "

Lone parents can not afford this, DLA and ONLY DLA awared at the higher rate for the mobility part is paying for it. The Mobility part of the DLA does not even go into their bank accounts, it goes stright to the car dealers/leasers or whatever.

This is not cheap and is a bloody necessetity for those who do it.

For those who think that living on benefits is a cushty life compared to thise who struggle with a wage can not be handling their finances correctly.

To the poster who said everything at school is free - THIS IS WRONG, the only thing that can be subsitised now is school meals, extra music lessons are not free, trips are not free..please do a little research before you post.

nothingoldcanstay · 08/01/2012 21:17

I've just said that both lone parents have children with ASD and fully get why they need cars.
That doesn't change the fact that plenty of lone parents who can work need cars too.Why can they not get one?

RichTeaAreCrap · 08/01/2012 21:19

Reading this thread makes me so sad. Some of the posts on here about people on disability or carers allowance and what has happened to their families.

As if they haven't got enough to worry about than people judging them about money. Do you really think that they care about money OP? I can confidently say that I bet any of them would give up every single penny and more if it meant they did not have to live with a disability or a DC or DH with a disability.

Nilgiri · 08/01/2012 21:19

nothinggold you're confused about the purpose of the car.

You're essentially saying, I'd like a pet dog and can't afford one, but that blind person over there has one - why can't there be a scheme to give me a dog?

The dog is not a luxury to the blind person, nor is it a reward for being deserving. It's an essential adaptation without which the blind person cannot independently perform basic functions.

WhingingNinja · 08/01/2012 21:20

erm, because WANT and NEED are two very different things.

you claimed to have given up a job because your car broke down. WTAF?

unless you were a taxi driver or your car was an essential part of your actual job, and not used just for the commute then im sorry that is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard.

You seem a rather over entitled and very stupid person

GoingForGoalWeight · 08/01/2012 21:20

Possibly because their children are not disabled @ nothingoldcanstay

nothingoldcanstay · 08/01/2012 21:22

Lone parents can not afford this, DLA and ONLY DLA awared at the higher rate for the mobility part is paying for it. The Mobility part of the DLA does not even go into their bank accounts, it goes stright to the car dealers/leasers or whatever.

This is not cheap and is a bloody necessetity for those who do it.

Agreed. Now answer why those other lone parents for whom a car is a bloody necessity to get to work can't get one too. Surely it's a win win?

DanJARMouse · 08/01/2012 21:22

nothinggold - Motability is a CHARITY. It is not there for any Tom, Dick or Harry.

Our motability vehicle costs us £70+ a week. It is for DH who cannot walk very far, and uses crutches for the small distances he can manage.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 08/01/2012 21:23

Nothingoldcanstay..are you stupid? Lone parents who could afford to pay £80 a week could rent a caring a different lease scheme, just not the motability one.

FWIW we would be eligible for motability scheme, my DD is 5 and can't speak and is like a young toddler, if anyone thinks that's worth it to be able to join a car lease scheme you need your head read,

molepom · 08/01/2012 21:23

Because as stated before their children are not disabled. Read the posts or make yours clearer.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 08/01/2012 21:23

*rent a car using

nothingoldcanstay · 08/01/2012 21:24

WhingingNinja - how was I to get to work then? I couldn't.

Why is it stupid to give people that can't afford it some chance of getting to work?

molepom · 08/01/2012 21:25

do you not have public transport?

GoingForGoalWeight · 08/01/2012 21:25

Makes me laugh the jealousy over a motabilityMy neighbours were jealous too. It;s pathetic and ignorant, worse so considering she has severe bi-polar and has her own car. I've had the jealousy from people for years. It is no picnic being a carer, it's not a life i'd choose,