We have some lovely neighbours. He works in the City - longish hours - high income. Three dc at private schools. The fourth dc has a rare congenital physical and mental (sorry don't mean to offend if it's wrong to use that word now) disability. Can't speak, can't feed, fits regularly, uses a wheelchair, incontinent, attends special school.
They are relatively wealthy people and I believe pay for respite care themselves for a week every month - they do get some funded I think but not all of it. I think my neighbour also gets a carers allowance (she was unable to even consider working after this child was born). They also have a large motability people carrier.
They do not need any help from the state because they could pay for it. They have, however, paid the same taxes as everyone else and are entitled to the same "help" where it is available. As she said to me once, not paying for a car means their other children are funded for every overseas school trip going and bearing in mind what they have gone through for ten years, they need the breaks she and her dh don't get.
As far as I am concerned, they don't get enough help. They appreciate they are very very lucky because they are not living on the breadline but her husband was brilliant and I mean truly brilliant and because he has refused overseas postings etc, because of his family circs he isn't the ceo of a mult-national now. Their child is incredibly lucky to have been born into such a privileged and loving family. Even with that I have had her in my arms sobbing with exhaustion and frustration and distress at what her other children have missed - probably just outed myself now.
OP - you aren't in that position, you have the power and the choice to move on if you need to. Others do not. To resent what little the state provides them which is far far short of what they want which good health for themselves or their loved ones is so very wrong.