To have still not come up with a suitable name for ladybits after 8 years???

[staylucky]

I am totally U. Not only unreasonable but indesicive and repressed as hell.

Since DD came along 8 years ago have never called bits anything at all, just struggled to find a moniker that doesn't make me cringe or blush. DD isn't too scarred but DS 2.5 has recently become quite aware of his 'waddi' ( he named it so ) and obv the boys have this girls have that convo has come up.

What on earth do I call it?????

noonie?????

I give up and despair. Why can you not use the proper names, vulva and vagina?

What do you call her knee?? Her wobbly bone????

Her foot, her flappy bit with wiggly bits on the end???

What about "down there"?

Obviously open is correct with her Front Bottom contribution. Non confrontational and anatomaly accurate.

But raffle. It's not a bottom. Bottoms are for shitting and bumsex

Look. I am one of four girls and I have four girls. So I am the authority on this subject.

I was brought up to call this part of the anatomy 'front bum'.

But as I now like to now use polite language (innit) we shall refer to female parts henceforth as 'front bottom'.

Thank you.

The thing is, 'vagina' refers to the birth canal, not the external genitals. I didn't think there was a term for the whole external genital area, which is surely what we're mostly referring to with our daughters?

We say Lulu.

Mmm, just a tad Mardy

Laughing at "washing my nuts"

By staylucky

Maybe I am deuce DD came home from a learning about bodies class year 2 and pronouced that girls have vaginas and boys penis's. In a searching discussion type context fine but honestly I just can't see myself cheerfully using the word vagina in the middle of the Market or crossing the road. It's nasty

Oh good Lord. When can you see yourself having to use it in the market or crossing the road??

'LOOK OUT DD THERE IS A HUGE VAGINA BEING CHASED BY A SPEEDING PENIS'

Fanjo
Bits
Minnie
Vagina
Vulva
Front bottom/bum
Fannie
Pussy
Cunt
Twinkle
Fairy
Foo
Falloola
Tiddle
Penny
Foofoo
Peach
Noonie
Moomoo
Lulu

We started off with 'fairy'. But now I'm telling my DD's all the names I know, and havind right giggle about it.

Thank you raffle.

Just say vulva. All this "foofie" "minnie" "twinkle" bollocks is ridiculous. As a teacher, if a girl came up to me and said her twinkle was sore, or someone touched her twinkle, I'd only need to get her to explain further anyway, so it's better to just get her to use the proper name. Yes, it's a pain in the arse that there's not a universally popular name for it like willy, but fgs, call a spade a spade. It's a vulva.

Also, front bottom. Grim, just grim.

Fanjo
Bits
Minnie
Vagina
Vulva
Front bottom/bum
Fannie
Pussy
Cunt
Twinkle
Fairy
Foo
Falloola
Tiddle
Penny
Foofoo/Foofie
Peach
Noonie
Moomoo
Lulu

Call it a vagina and if she chooses to call it something else then thats up to her , same as your son choosing a name for his.

his penis , not his vagina , obviously

Oh I am SO disappointed!

Front Bottom Mardy, FRONT...back bottom for bumsex, must I haul you up to the front of the class and make you point out the difference on the blackboard...tut. It's Friday night and everything and you are pretending not to know where to do your bumsex and stuff.

Erm because toddlers are random as hell and often start talking about things you really wish they wouldn't??

I like the list! Thankyou for all the suggestions :)

Having been totally non pink and fluffy about all of this, our DCs have always been advised that the term is vulva.

It worked perfectly until we bought ourselves a Volvo. My DCs now ask why my DDs bits are named after our car. My DD now calls her bits Volvo

DS has yet to appreciate the jokes he will be able to make around this mix-up. I cringe at the thought of what the future holds.

Dd4 thinks a penis is a peanut. I suppose I should correct her since she is almost 11.

Happy to be corrected.... yes its a vulva

Seriously, a bum is for pooping from. The thought of poop coming out of my VULVA, that's right, my VULVA, that's what we call it in my house, makes me feel sick.

obviously I don't call it a vulva, I call it a fanny or a cunt or a minge, but that's because I don't have any small girls around

The problem is that most things either fall into the:

Anatomical: Vagina/Vulva etc. Possibly too clinical for some

Twee: Fairy/Foofoo etc.

Direct or sweary: Cunt/pussy etc.

There are few neutral words.

Apart from maybe Fanjo.

My brother works for volvo. I always snigger immaturely when he mentions it.