to think by and large girls are now the preferred gender?

[Bethshine82]

I have noticed a lot since having my son that girls seem to be the gender of choice. We seem to have gone from girls being discriminated against, to them being equal and now we seem to have gone past that to a point where they are now seen as better than boys.

When I had my son several people immediately said I'd have to try again for a daughter and that every woman needs a daughter. When I was pregnant and very sick people said (including midwife) 'typical male causing trouble already.' And on numerous occasions people (friends and strangers) have suggested any undesirable behaviour is due to his gender rather than him being a toddler. Won't sleep? It's because he's a boy. Won't sit still for long? It's because he's a boy. Loves tv and would watch all day if allowed? Typical man.
Even once in a shop when DS was trying to carry milk and bread for me but struggling the shop lady said 'men! Can't do two things at once.'

It really annoys me. How cone girls get to be 'princess' while boys have to be 'noisy' and 'monster' on all the clothes. Actually why is there hardly any choice in boys' clothes come to think of it.

Boys seem to be pushed down right from when they are born and the education system largely favours girls too, especially primary education.

AIBU to let this get to me? Possibly I am over sensitive but it does seem to be that girls are now predominantly favoured over boys.

I know you have a daughter, you've said that quite a few times

I don't think you've understood my comments on this thread. I was responding SPECIFICALLY to the repeated references to SMOGs on this thread.

You then responded to those comments as if I was claiming that no mother of boys ever gets any negative comments from anyone.

Which I wasn't. I was discussing the whole SMOG thing (whatever the fuck that is, because I have never seen this whole thing that is apparently so prevalent in action).

I'm glad I had a DS and not a DD, because I had a hard time with my appearance growing up and I wouldn't want to have a daughter with the same issues.

I think there is a lot of difference between boys and girls and they are born with it. No one has answered my question from much earlier-if they don't see a difference why does it matter what sex they have?

and my comments arent about smogs either, whatever the fuck they may be, just about negativity towards boys in general which i have experienced. its not clear in all your comments that you are speaking just about smogs, as there is negativity towards boys from people in general whether they are smog? i do not know! some may be mothers of girls whether the fact that they only have girls has any relevance to why they may be negative to boys i have no idea.

i have both so i assume i am not a smog or a smob just a mum who doesnt like negativity towards any of her children.

exotic i havent seen a difference yet as dd is too young but a lot of what i know about the education system etc and my reading on boys is that they are different, i mean hormonally they are different and hormones ahve a huge impact on mood etc so it stands to reason there will be some differences.

whether or not that matters i dont know? it doesnt matter to me as i treat all my children as individuals regardless of gender!

and actually i would say that dd has focused her attention on and learnt fine motor skill ie the pincer grip etc earlier than the boys who were more interested in crawling and walking, wheras dd was slightly later crawling and is not walking yet (3 of my boys were walking by her age) but her fine motor skill are better than the boys were, i have no idea why that would be but they say/there is evidence that girls develop fine motor skills at an earlier age, no idea why tho?

I think it's faily clear if you read the thread back that I was having a specific conversation with mrsheffley about SMOGs at the point you joined in actually, 4madboys.

I'm sorry if that wasn't clear to you, I will try and address the poster I'm talking to at the beginning of every post.

i joined the thread quite near the start actually but with 5 kids at home i dip in and out and skim read, like many posters i think and i wasnt aware that we had to address specific posters or answer specific questions i just picked out yours as you seemed to so vehemently deny that there was negativity towards boys, now you are just denying smogs? whatever the fuck they are! the mums i know with girls are nice and i havent noticed a difference between parents of boys/girls tbh, now those with pfb are a whole different species

and if you want a specific conversation with a specific poster you could always pm them, this is a talk board where people will dip in and out and often comment on the most recent comments as well as the op, i thought that was the way it worked, apologies

"i just picked out yours as you seemed to so vehemently deny that there was negativity towards boys"

Well you were wrong there. Plain wrong. It was a conversation about smogs, I was in no way claiming that no one ever says anything negative about boys.

And if you don't have time to follow the thread perhaps you shouldn't pick people's comments out out of context and start directing comments at them?

Apologies but I'm not going to respond to your comments again 4madyboys.

This is utterly tiresome.

We have adopted. All along the process we were leaning towards a girl (only because neither of us were able to imagine parenting a boy) but at the last minute we decided to go for either gender. We ended up with a DS who came to us in March this year at 18 months. We couldn't be happier and we adore every little bit of him and are so proud that he's ours. He is bloody lively and pretty hard work but when we get together with other kids, he's always so lovely with them all and it's the girls who are trying to rip everyones faces off!
Boys clothes for age 2 up are pretty dire though which cheeses me off. Racks and racks of cute girls clothes and a few racks of horrible sports gear/Thomas the tank/Bob the Builder for boys.

the thread in general is about negativity TOWARDS boys i was commenting on my experiences of that simple.

and i suspect that if everyone read a thread fully and didnt skim read then no one would post most of us are fairly busy and have other things to be getting on with.

this thread was relevant to me and interesting so i posted.

congrats on your adoption flossy h&m and gap and POP are good for brightly coloured boys clothes, you can get lots of stuff without character stuff on it if you look, also m&s, i feel your pain! :)

flossy I also get lots of DS's clothes online, more choice I find. It is pretty depressing though and as my DS is so tall and at 2 already in age 4-5 clothes I did not get to shop for long in the cute baby boy section.

exoticfruits I think there are big differences in gender but both genders can exhibit 'typical' qualities of the other. Boys and girls are different in the way men and women are different. Generalising here but boys and men tend to be much less language focused than girls and women etc.

I think education favours girls for a range of reasons. Firstly at four years old on average girls are six months ahead of boys. So put a September born girl in with an august born boy and there is a maturity difference of up to 18 months. That's huge. Many boys at four are not ready for formal education, then by the time they are ready they have already been put off. Most primary teachers are female. Boys actually learn better in less bright, cooler conditions than girls.
Competition is now discouraged (I'm thinking of sports carousels at sports day where no one wins or loses) but boys enjoy completion. They are motivated by it.
Boys need more time to run about. This is a fact. Having taught key stage one I can confidently say boys struggled with days when there was wet play. They were literally bouncing around by hometime. In general girls coped much better.
In year two when they are aged six and seven and sats become a priority physical education is one of the first things to be cut back on. This means more time sitting at desks and less chance to expend energy.
I think in general girls are more mature and ready for school at four, the boys catch up but for some boys the damage has already been done. They think they are stupid and have lost interest. We must be doing something wrong because girls out perform boys across the board. Unless we are suggesting boys are just not as clever as girls then it must be that our education system fits girls better than boys.

I am generalising here and I know there will be exceptions.

A colleague of mine lost two baby boys soon after birth. It's bloody humbling talking to her about any issues with the kids (she decided not to have any more after losing her sons as she couldn't face it happening again). I love my DS's and although we kind of hoped for a girl with DS2 I love him just as he is and wouldn't swap him now he's here, he's a gorgeous boy. And DS1 is growing up to be a lovely lad (who still loves his mum!) Agree that boys clothing is harder to find nice things than girls. I don't like Little monster or military references on children's clothes.

flossy - I think I have got away so far with not a single character on clothes (pyjamas excepted) and with quite few bright colours and on a budget - but you do have to persist.

Everyone's a philosopher these days aren't they?
Sex/gender?
Pink/blue toys?
Who really gives a toss about what gap sells and doesn't sell? Vote with your feet and just don't buy their
What's wrong with a girl liking pink and a boy feeling he is more comfortable in blue?
I'm not looking for some deep seated meaning in everything I see because life is there to be lived and over thinking each and every problem you see as invasive wastes your life.
Smile and wear what you want.

Wear what you want if you can find it. Or make it.

Gap sells clothes sans 'little monster' graphics, I have found.

I didn't say live your life without thinking about it.
I said that this isn't important because you can make choices for your child...you don't have to shop at Gap like a Sheep?
Little girls will still like pink in 100 years time with or without amateur activists trying to change the way they think.

Thread is not really about pink/blue/shopping at Gap...

I see lots of posts about clothes.
Maybe you could look again?
There are other posts granted.
But one can't talk about everything can one?

The key is to read the OP.

The key is to drop it when you know you're just treading water.
Telling me what to post :)

So drop it therefore?