to think by and large girls are now the preferred gender?

[Bethshine82]

I have noticed a lot since having my son that girls seem to be the gender of choice. We seem to have gone from girls being discriminated against, to them being equal and now we seem to have gone past that to a point where they are now seen as better than boys.

When I had my son several people immediately said I'd have to try again for a daughter and that every woman needs a daughter. When I was pregnant and very sick people said (including midwife) 'typical male causing trouble already.' And on numerous occasions people (friends and strangers) have suggested any undesirable behaviour is due to his gender rather than him being a toddler. Won't sleep? It's because he's a boy. Won't sit still for long? It's because he's a boy. Loves tv and would watch all day if allowed? Typical man.
Even once in a shop when DS was trying to carry milk and bread for me but struggling the shop lady said 'men! Can't do two things at once.'

It really annoys me. How cone girls get to be 'princess' while boys have to be 'noisy' and 'monster' on all the clothes. Actually why is there hardly any choice in boys' clothes come to think of it.

Boys seem to be pushed down right from when they are born and the education system largely favours girls too, especially primary education.

AIBU to let this get to me? Possibly I am over sensitive but it does seem to be that girls are now predominantly favoured over boys.

pinkglow I know exactly what you mean!
When DS was about three months a woman commented how alert he was and then clarified this with 'for a boy. I mean you expected little girls to be alert and bright but not little boys.'
Why are people so rude? When I opened DS's bank account Halifax woman (who did appear to be insane) said 'I've got two boys and then I had a girl. I took a risk and tried a third time for a girl. If it had been another boy I'd have killed myself.' Thanks for that Halifax lady! Another friend with no children commented that even boys' nappies smell worse than girls'! I must be getting over sensitive as even this annoyed me!

Boys do need to let off more steam than girls, they just do.
wibbly ever heard the story of Rapunzel? Have you got a tall tower handy and a few hair extensions? Lock away your DD's, quick.

I think you are right to an extent OP - hence the rhyme - 'sugar and spice and all things nice vs slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails'

I have 3 girls so I don't know what it's like to have a son (would like to know but you can't choose)

Women definitely don't get an easy ride in society though do they? Far more is expected of us than of men imo and misogyny is rife, sadly - as much as we hope things have changed.

I'll never forget when I had my twin scan.I burst into tears when they told me I was having twin boys.After 7 years trying I couldn't have cared if I had 2 chimpanzees in there.The immediate assumption was that I wanted girls.The nurse patted my hand and said never mind better luck next time..I actually wanted boys as I personally find them easier and was overjoyed.I was equally overjoyed when I found out I was having a girl 6 months later.As I suspected boys for me are slightly easier but both sexes have amazing qualities and I know I'm very lucky to have both.

Sorry girls and boys are different.I have a tomboy girl,it is different than having boys.All 3 play together 90% of the time.They are so very different though and it's not just personality it is gender.Sorry.It may not be pc but it's a fact.

A friend of mine with twin girls said she'd have killed herself if they'd been boys-hey thanks for that.

I still don't get this whole "boys need to run around shouting to let off steam" thing.I thought all children needed to let off steam..!?

Definitely! :o

I am really shocked at some reactions people have talked about on this thread even before you analyse the damaging stereotypes, how can these people be so bloody rude?

Sorry, still don't buy it!
I think we put a lot of differences down to gender, when they might not be.
Children are different from each other, as are adults.
Of course there are differences, but I think they are fairly minor, subtle, and far less numerous than the similarities.

Expectations of how the sexes will behave have an enourmous effect on behaviour.
Kids are different with different friends, different with different grandparents, different with different teachers, depending on the expectation of behaviour.

I say this with two sister and three brothers too, so I do have some notion of how boys versus girls behave, but as I say, that was before the great marketing scam that began in the 90's to genderize every bloody thing.

It's from birth FGS, and almost impossible to avoid, so it's pretty hard to tell what is nature and what is the influence of the marketeers.

I think that teen girls are more of a worry in case they get pregnant. Lets face it if a girl gets up the duff it's her that bears the brunt of it; not the man.

So girls don't mature quicker than boys and their brains don't work differently?Girls and boys are exactly the same in every way.

Last time I looked my boys and girl look slightly different down below for a start.

What's with all the SMOG crap?

What's the equivalent for someone with boys then? Perhaps someone who says that women who don't have girls are missing out on something extra special.

Yep, I think that'd be it.

sorry, women who don't have boys!

There is that issue that as soon as boys grow up, they won't bother with their parents anymore and that mum (or by then granny) will almost never see their grandchildren.

Well, I have to say - if this is true - it's home made. Both my brother and I have a close, but different, relation ship with our parents, we're always there for Christmas, she did her share of babysitting of his children, just as my MIL will do her bit.

To be fair, MIL isn't the easiest but even that is up to you ... And if you're "normal" the DIL will bring the children to you anyway, even if you're not always on the same page. That's at least my point of view - but I'm old now, over 30 and might see things differently

Also I know lots of other examples where boys and men are in touch with their mums, either by phone or visiting.

Maybe you shouldn't assume that they'll just leave and abandon you - and than they won't!

"What's with all the SMOG crap?"

I think WibblyBibbly is a prime example of a SMOG.

Not all mothers of girls are SMOGs. Most are sensible.

But why isn't there an equivalent term for smug mothers of boys who claim to have something more special than mothers of only girls?

SMOBs probably.

OP you are just way oversensitive. I have 2 girls and get the 'will you try for a boy?' line all the time, or people asking whether DH was disappointed with a second girl. It doesn't make me automatically assume the whole world is anti-girl!

I like boys, I like girls. Would have been happy with either. I get equally as pissed off with the mountain of pink girly crap aimed at my daughters (free make-up with shoes for a 3yo ffs!) As it sounds like you do with tops that say 'little monster' etc.

And if you don't want to dress your DD in head to toe pale pink there isn't actually that much choice out there for little girls to be honest.

I think you need to remove that huge chip from your shoulder! I am sure your DS is lovely.

OP you are just way oversensitive. I have 2 girls and get the 'will you try for a boy?' line all the time, or people asking whether DH was disappointed with a second girl. It doesn't make me automatically assume the whole world is anti-girl!

I like boys, I like girls. Would have been happy with either. I get equally as pissed off with the mountain of pink girly crap aimed at my daughters (free make-up with shoes for a 3yo ffs!) As it sounds like you do with tops that say 'little monster' etc.

And if you don't want to dress your DD in head to toe pale pink there isn't actually that much choice out there for little girls to be honest.

I think you need to remove that huge chip from your shoulder! I am sure your DS is lovely.

op YANBU

its so true, mums of boys are looked at as less happy than mums of girls

my ds's sex education at school was all about a baby girl growing up

I ASKED why wasnt it about twins, eg a boy and a girl, why just a baby girl, boys grow up too!!

the teachers looked at me like I was daft

and it was all "oh teach your daughters boys only want one thing", I was aghast, I asked them not to steroetype all boys, again looked at me like I had 2 heads

I don't think many mums of boys sit in toddler groups or local parks with pursed lips and cats bum faces when watching girls play.

I know many mogs and also many smogs. Smogs are a special breed,best to be avoided but sadly all too common.

There are definitely differences. They aren't bad and don't make girls better then boys or vice versa but to deny there are any differences is wrong imo.
DS played with cars, trucks, trains basically anything that moved very early. With no encouragement. He pointed at cars when outside and in fact his first word was car. He now enjoys role play with his kitchen and dressing up as well as his little people house so his interests have changed to a degree but he will spend much much longer pushing his trains around his track.
He is also more high energy than most of my friend's girls. I found the book 'raising boys' very helpful.

Spotty I've never dressed my dd in pink let alone head to toe. There is plenty out there not pink.Pink is a tad passe imvho,retro colours are in.In fact I have more of a problem avoiding pink for my boys these days as it seems to be the new colour of choice for trendy boys.

Boden
M&S
Sainsburys
Boots
Mothercare
H&M all do masses of non pink for girls

As I speak dd is bouncing around in a maroon/yellow mini Boden apple top.

Toys I think have far too much pink aimed at girls but again if you look around there is plenty out there. You just have to avoid tat palaces like Toys R Us with it's putrid pink aisle..

Part of me was quite relieved when I found out I was expecting a boy. I would've been happy to have a girl of course but I would've been frightened for her in later life. I look back to my teen years and think about things like the low self-esteem, and the pressure to look good and to have boyfriends and have sex, and how emotionally involved I got with people, and how hurt I consequently got, and shudder - I wouldn't wish my teenage years on anybody. I dread the thought of trying to steer a girl through that stage of her life. Don't think it's half as bad for boys, DP certainly had an easier ride.

For the nth time I've just misread this as Bi and Large girls .

There are definitely differences. They aren't bad and don't make girls better then boys or vice versa but to deny there are any differences is wrong imo.

As a mother of 3 DSs I think there are definite differences. What I don't understand is why I get shouted down when I say so. If there are no differences why on earth does it matter which sex you have?

For all the equality it appears that women want girls to wear pretty dresses, style their hair, avoid mud and when they grow up have someone to go shopping with!!! Despite the fact that lots of women don't get on with their own mothers they appear to think that a girl will be their best friend!

If women don't want all the above, why is a girl important? Why won't a boy be just as good? (asked by someone who is quite happy with 3 boys)

MrsHeffley Tue 03-Jan-12 18:22:41
I don't think many mums of boys sit in toddler groups or local parks with pursed lips and cats bum faces when watching girls play.

I know many mogs and also many smogs. Smogs are a special breed,best to be avoided but sadly all too common.

Fucking hell.

I mean, fucking hell.

Persecution complex anyone?