Friends and my 'taxi' service

[drcrab]

One of my rare posts in Aibu. Wondered if you can advise: good friends of ours went into labour and rang to ask if we could get them to hospital. This was nye and we were on our way to a party at other friend's place with our 2 toddlers. So dh brought them to hospital which is at least 30 min away. I went to party with kids. Dh joined us later.

Dh went back to sort out their dog at about 10pm. Then at 2am on new years day he went back to hospital to pick the husband up. (they'd the baby by then).

This morning another request to get to hospital with the car seat but wife not discharged yet. Then a presumption that we'll get them home too.

I'm not adverse to being nice and etc but it's the amount of time and petrol that's irking me about it all. And there's been no offer of petrol payment of anything like that.

We recently moved and clearly they don't drive. So we drove them up here 2x (and back) to have dinner etc.

I feel bad for being so unreasonable about this but I'm upset because there was no offer to pay petrol (and we are by no means flush!) and this will be the 3rd trip to hospital. I'm just thinking that this will become the taxi service everytime we want to meet/see them. It takes 2 buses to come to ours and they have perhaps hosted us 2x in the 8 years we've known them so if we want to have meals at home (either) we will have to go pick them up and bring them here. And then back.

I feel bad that I'm feeling this way as they have helped us out a lot in the past. But I just wish there's some offer of petrol money or something of that sort. Having said that dh is now off to pick the husband up to go to hospital. He thinks I'm being uncharitable. :( go on tell me I'm being unreasonable.

See the thing for me is it's not just about the petrol money, it's about having to get myself ready, get DD ready, check she's done a wee, leave whatever I was going to do, get in my car, drive to my friends house, wait for them to get in the car, take them where they want to go (sometimes on an unfamiliar route) drop them off, drive back home, catch up with a few things I was going to do until they ring, stop what I am doing, stop whatever DD is doing, put my coat back on, put DD's coat back on, check DD's done a wee, get DD into the car (no mean feat, she doesn't like getting in her carseat) get in myself, retrace my earlier drive, wait outside for friend to emerge, possibly load her shopping/belongings into my boot, drive them home, drive myself home.

It's a lot of faffing around, which if I have nothing better to do all day, then of course petrol is my only concern, but quite often, I am trying to squeeze lots of things into one day, and this breaks the day up. My friend will say it's only a 15 mile drive (so 15 miles x 4 journeys = 60 miles) but that 60 miles can take 2+ hrs to make, what with all the faffing of getting a toddler in and out with me. That's 2+ hours I am happy to help my friend if it is an emergency, but not if she just fancies a trip to the shops.

It always appears to be a much easier thing for me to do, for my non driving friends who think a lift is no big deal, than it seems to me.

If OTOH I am actually going the same way as my friend wants to go, it is no big deal at all.

Think it's perfectly fine to do it a couple of times but this is taking the piss. YANBU.
I wouldn't dream of intruding on someone's NYE - they should have planned in advance what they were going to do and not assumed.

And i agree with this 'sense of entitlement' people seem to have that was mentioned earlier. I don't drive - i don't assume other people are at my beack and call. I am responsible for my own independence and getting around and if someone offers gladly then great.
I'm gobsmacked by the number of people i know who don't drive but appear to have lost control of their legs, are constantly chauffered around and think public transport is beneath them tbh.

we dont have a car and i get taxis back and forth to hospital appointments. The only argument we ever had abouat a car is with my sister who complains she cant afford one but then makes fun repeatedly of us because we dont have which gets me sometimes - moan about cost and get into debt and then make fun of people who chose not to do that!