One of those damned disabled toilet threads.

[ReindeerBollocks]

DS and I used a diabled toilet (well, I didn't but DS did).

DS has CF and although is affected by chest issues also has some considerable difficulties with his dietary and toilet needs. I.e. when he is suffering with a sore tummy and needs the toilet - he needs to go immediately or suffer an accident.

We were out today and despite keeping on top of all current meds and peg feeds, he had another episode. But there was a queue in the femal toilets (DS is 7 and while he normally uses the men's he wanted to use the womens with me as he was in considerable pain). I took him in the disabled toilet instead, thinking that he has a medical need and therefore entitled to us it. Except there was a man waiting with a disabled lady insisting we not use this toilet and wanting management involvement. I explained about DS's condition and that he needed to go but this gentleman was not convinced and thought that as the toilet was designed with wheelchairs in mind, that we should not have used the toilet.

So who was right? I didn't think I was being unreasonable, DS has had accidents before due to his condition, and whilst it's not technically a disability I feel his need does outweigh those of ordinary use and therefore entitled to use the toilet. This isn't my first AIBU thread about toilet use, for that I apologise profusely.

Pixel again, I'm not solving anyones toilet
problems. Never said I would. Cake - I don't give a shit tbh

I tried asking her exactly that Pixel, regarding my brother.

Couldn't get any sense out of her, so I doubt she is capable of answering your question.

For anyone particularly interested this talks about toilets for disabled access, & makes the point that many still think in terms of wheelchair accessible without carer rather than the other many types of disability that exist.

www.thenbs.com/topics/DesignSpecification/articles/toiletsDisabledAccess.asp

Bollards - with direct link ticked
www.thenbs.com/topics/DesignSpecification/articles/toiletsDisabledAccess.asp

Cake, that's because there is no answer, she just won't admit it. Ds needs to use the disabled toilet because there is no alternative, which is why he was given a radar key.

Exactly Pixel, she just avoids the question....

ReindeerBollocks

What is 'CF'?

Pendeen - cystic fibrosis. It causes digestive problems as well as affecting lung function

YAnBU

I'm partially sighted and get told off for using disabled toilets all the time. I walk normally, I don't wear glasses (due to headaches) but I can't see clearly more than 5 feet in front of myself.

If I'm in a building where the toiles are all on the one floor (as is common where I live) and I have to go upstairs to use the ladies then I WILL use the disabled toilet. Especially if I'm bursting. Because no way am I running up and downstairs to use the toilet.even at home DH has to help me to the toilet at night because it's downstairs.

To look at me, you wouldn't really be able to tell that there is anything wrong but there is and I feel completely justified in using those toilets because it's a human right not to be forced to endanger myself to pander to people's ignirant definitions of disabled.

I should also point out that if there is a ladies toilet that's just as accessable as the disabled one then I will use it.

That should have been 'kin a building where the toilets are NOT all on the one floor''

Zombi it's such a shame that you have to justify yourself like that to others - I wish people would mind their own business. I suppose from their pov they are "defending" the rights of disabled people to use the toilet - but only from their own very limited definition of disability!

YANBU at all. I hope your son wasn't too upset by it all.

Were you trying to get in front of the wheelchair users waiting for the toilet?

spiderpig Speaking generally, if there's a queue for the disabled toilet then wheelchair users should queue like everone else.

i think the op said in the thread that the man and his wife were not there when they went in but were there when they came out and then told the op they shouldnt have been using the toilets? presumably they were miffed at having to wait, and more so when they saw a 'non' disabled looking mother and child come out, however once the op explained the situation then the man should have apolgosed imo.

I have a question for those with invisible disabilities. I am a wheelchair user and do get pissed off with non- disabled people using accessible toilets. I do think people need to be challenged if they are using them when they don't need to. However, I'm completely in agreement that they're not for the exclusive use of wheelchair users. Do you find it offensive if people ask if you are disabled?

I'm currently very visibly pregnant and have been asked if I'm actually disabled, and also have people give me funny looks when I pull into disabled parking spaces. If challenged I don't mind explaining my situation, but not sure if others feel the same way?

And should add, I would always apologise if someone who didn't look disabled explained that they were.

Roller of course nobody will believe you are disabled because everyone knows wheelchair users like us are totally unshaggable and incapable of rearing children. That's why there are no condom/tampon machines/acessible mirrors in disabled lavs (we have no genitals and it doesn't matter what we look like) and no wheelchairs with child seats (which are actually illegal.) Pull yourself together woman!

Mt DP has a hidden disability, and is unable to use the regular loos because she needs the rails to get up & down. I think she does get annoyed at being challenged, because it is always done in an accusatory tone.

I did see an accessible toilet at Heathrow terminal 5 with both condoms and tampons and a wheelie height mirror. It was on my Facebook status for a while, I was so surprised.

I do make an effort not to be accusatory, although my OH doesn't. I have had words with him about it :(. Problem is that not challenging perpetuates the idea that it's ok, but it does need to be done diplomatically.

I can't believe that the OP is being told she was wrong to use a disabled toilet for her DISABLED child.

The reason businesses are required to have accessible toilets is because disabled people are entitled, by law, to access the same facilities as the rest of the population, and reasonable adjustments are required to make sure this happens.

The law does not say that only wheelchair users count as disabled - the law says that people with disabilities have certain rights. A child with CF is a person with a disability and therefore absolutely entitled to make use of these "reasonable adjustments".

Perhaps if fewer people who cannot by any stretch of the imagination be considered disabled - ie mothers with prams and sleeping babies - availed themselves of the facilities provided for those with disabilities, there might be less suspicion aimed at people like the OP's son.

I DO mind being challenged because I shouldn't have to have an obvious disability just to use the disabled toilet. Sometimes you can't tell and people shouldn't just assume the right to challenge others because they don't fit their own description of disabled. Other people taking the piss shouldn't be made my problem when I need a pee.

Roller Heathrow toilet