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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

One of those damned disabled toilet threads.

167 replies

ReindeerBollocks · 30/12/2011 21:45

DS and I used a diabled toilet (well, I didn't but DS did).

DS has CF and although is affected by chest issues also has some considerable difficulties with his dietary and toilet needs. I.e. when he is suffering with a sore tummy and needs the toilet - he needs to go immediately or suffer an accident.

We were out today and despite keeping on top of all current meds and peg feeds, he had another episode. But there was a queue in the femal toilets (DS is 7 and while he normally uses the men's he wanted to use the womens with me as he was in considerable pain). I took him in the disabled toilet instead, thinking that he has a medical need and therefore entitled to us it. Except there was a man waiting with a disabled lady insisting we not use this toilet and wanting management involvement. I explained about DS's condition and that he needed to go but this gentleman was not convinced and thought that as the toilet was designed with wheelchairs in mind, that we should not have used the toilet.

So who was right? I didn't think I was being unreasonable, DS has had accidents before due to his condition, and whilst it's not technically a disability I feel his need does outweigh those of ordinary use and therefore entitled to use the toilet. This isn't my first AIBU thread about toilet use, for that I apologise profusely.

OP posts:
unreasonablemuch · 30/12/2011 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deepandcrispandsevenfold · 30/12/2011 23:04

we got ours from the council, paid a £5 and I think had to take her DLA letter along.

igginezerscrooge · 30/12/2011 23:05

Reindeer I don't think you need take advice on equality legislation and practice from someone who just builds loos!
(Apologies for double posting, I seem to have no control over it)

igginezerscrooge · 30/12/2011 23:05

Reindeer I don't think you need take advice on equality legislation and practice from someone who just builds loos!
(Apologies for double posting, I seem to have no control over it)

OhTheConfusion · 30/12/2011 23:07

Not read the entire post (as it's late and im sleepy!) however...

My GF once had to authorise the re-signage of all the 'disabled toilets' in a new building designed for an organisation he headed as he was informed that the phrase was not acceptable and politically incorrect.

The signs were replace with 'Accessible Toilet' as not all disabilities are wheelchair based and these toilets are 'Accessible' to anyone with medical need.

Serenitysutton · 30/12/2011 23:09

You're actually missing my original point- use the loo. Knock yourself out! The man behind you doesn't get to decide who uses the loo, neither do the people on this thread. The loo is on private property and whilst businesses have an obligation to provide accesible loos for staff and customers they also decide how this is policed. They can choose to lock them if they like, and make it radar or only release the key to whomever they decide.

But essentially, the people on this thread also don't know who can and cant use it. It's not something you sit and decide for yourself. The loos are designed to be large enough to turn a chair, and usually have a cord and lowered seat/ sink for wheelchair users. That's about all that sets them aside from normal loos.

unreasonablemuch · 30/12/2011 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

naturalbaby · 30/12/2011 23:09

the bars and rails around the disabled cubicle are provided to assist people who may need to use them, not to exclude those who don't use them. how rediculous to assume only disabled wheelchair users can use a disabled loo.

if i need to change my toddler/older baby's nappy but don't want to use the wall table unit does that mean i can't use the baby change cubicle? it's safer for me to put a mat on the floor, and i don't need to use the nappy disposal unit because i use cloth and take my nappies home with me so technically i'm not really using the room as it was intended.

Original poster
ReindeerBollocks · 30/12/2011 23:10

Thanks Deep - as it was we were out of our local area. Would the key still work in that instance?

I will definitely apply with our local council though to avoid any future toilet issues.

OP posts:
confusedpixie · 30/12/2011 23:11

YWNBU. Disabled loos are for those who have disabilities or problems of any form that makes using a 'normal' toilet difficult imo. I use them as I have continence problems and use them when with my three charges, two of whom are on the spectrum and difficult to keep calm in busy places!

I have a radar key and have found it very handy in an emergency! Though I did have comments made the week before Christmas when I used the key in a macdonalds (it had a radar loo downstairs and the upstairs was blocked off for cleaning). Apparently I didn't look disabled enough Hmm

deepandcrispandsevenfold · 30/12/2011 23:12

yes they are all standard, weirdly we have only used ours twice in all the years we have had it(I say ours it is dd's but I have it as I would have to go in with her) and once was just to see if it worked....as you do.

Serenitysutton · 30/12/2011 23:14

Incidentially my company also has a publically accesible business building which has only accesible loos, because the place of business makes it likely a sizable number of customers would be wheelchair users. Would you expect people without disbailities to just not use the loo at all in that building?

Dawndonna · 30/12/2011 23:17

Yes.

cakeismysaviour · 30/12/2011 23:18

Serenity you are ignoring most of what people have said on this thread about the fact that some people cannot use a standard loo, but can use a disabled too.

Because you design loos primarily around making sure that a wheelchair user, you either can't get your head around the fact that some non-wheelchair users are only able to use disabled loos (and these people can't use the standard loos even if they try to) or you are just trying to wind people up.

cakeismysaviour · 30/12/2011 23:21

I meant 'you design loos primarily around making sure that a wheelchair user can use them easily'

I'm getting tired......

ChristinedePizaTinsel · 30/12/2011 23:22

Disabled toilets are for people who are disabled. Some of those people are wheelchair users, some aren't. Disabled toilets also have sinks where people can wash privately and space to deal with colostomy bags and other gastric issues.

Reindeer - my sister has CF and she has a blue badge and gets higher rate disability allowance even though she has never had to use a wheelchair. CF is a disability

igginezerscrooge · 30/12/2011 23:25

..However if the only toilet in a building is an accessible one, then obviously it is meant to be used by all (re sutton's question)

igginezerscrooge · 30/12/2011 23:25

..However if the only toilet in a building is an accessible one, then obviously it is meant to be used by all (re sutton's question)

naturalbaby · 30/12/2011 23:25

serenity yes, according to your reasoning in earlier posts.

Serenitysutton · 30/12/2011 23:33

Again, you're missing my point. That's what they're designed for. Their usage may vary- some places are happy for anyone to use them. Some places keep them locked. Some use the radar scheme ( and indeed my bf has a radar key for IBS and private companies are become better at letting sufferers who are not customers use their loos)

BUT. You are not entitied to decide who does and doesn't use them. By that logic you can never ever judge anyone using the disabled loo ( as many have here) because you can never ever possibly know who has needs.

cakeismysaviour · 30/12/2011 23:36

Serenity you are just going round in circles, we have all tried to explain - the message doesn't seem to be getting through. I'm bored with you now tbh.

Pixel · 30/12/2011 23:49

Mmm Serenity still hasn't explained how my ds can go to the toilet if I don't take him in the disabled one. I would welcome suggestions as I'm obviously missing something here.

mrsjay · 30/12/2011 23:51

reindeer you used to be able to get a key from enable , but i think your local council or the mobility centre at the shopping centre would be able to advise you on a key , I dont have a key i find there is more open toilets these days than there used to be ,

saintlyjimjams · 30/12/2011 23:56

Serenity is misunderstanding the point of disabled toilets. My 12 year old son cannot go to the toilet himself (he has SLD's and severe autism, non verbal blah blah blah). He needs someone with him to supervise/help him. If dh is there he takes him to the men's, if it's just me I will happily take him to the ladies, but as he gets older this becomes more unacceptable to other female toilet users and so we prefer the disabled toilets.

Disabled toilets are about access, not wheelchairs (ditto blue badge - he has one of those as well,. despite being able to run like the wind when he wants to).

naturalbaby · 30/12/2011 23:58

serenity "they are wheelchair accessible toilets, not toilets for people wity any kind of disability/ medical need.
Have you not noticed that the Only difference between a disabled loo and a normal loo is that one is wheelchair accessable?"

how exactly are you differentiating between a disabled loo and a wheelchair accessible loo. a disabled loo is a disabled loo with access for wheelchairs. where exactly are disabled non-wheelchair users suppossed to go if their needs cannot be met in a 'normal' loo?
it is late and i am tired but all i can read is you contradicting yourself. you are not entitled to decide you uses them and nor was the man in the OP.