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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want ds to come into my bed?

112 replies

PavlovtheCat · 30/12/2011 20:02

He is a bad sleeper at the best of times, but...week before Xmas he was v unwell with virus, turned into ear infection. He had fever scmost of the time and v clingy so was in with us, then on Friday last week we went on hols with family, he was still poorly, first nights slept in cot, in our room til wee hours, then in with us. Rest of the trip he was in with us as not settling, clingy, wanted to come home. Settled in our bed straight ay each night.

tonight, first right home, he is in his own bed and NOT happy. He is crying so desperately

Mummmmmmeeeee I neeeeed you
Mummmmmmeeeee I you've youuuuu
Mummmmmmeeeeee peeeeeeeeeese mummeee bed? Peeeeeees need mummmmeeeeeee bed
Aaaaaaaaaahhwwwww mummmeeeeeeee I needed youuu

If I scope him up and put him in my bed, I get to snuggle with him and watch him go to sleep and he will be asleep instantly. Instead I am listening to him crying, and will go and stroke his face in A couple of minutes.

I have enjoyed sleeping next to him again. It just feels so wrong to have him do far away from me and unhappy.

OP posts:

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 30/12/2011 20:05

He is 2yrs btw. And sorry for typos.

OP posts:

MudAndGlitter · 30/12/2011 20:06

Not at all. I do it too with DS although he spends all night kicking me or waking me up to discuss Peter pan or buzz lightyear

perplexedpirate · 30/12/2011 20:06

So you can both be happy, or you can both be unhappy. Sounds like a no- brainer to me.
I'm sure you'll get lots of advice saying you ought to sit it out and it'll work itself out in the long run but I love cuddling with my ds in bed and if he finds it comforting, especially after being I'll, so much the better.

Gigondas · 30/12/2011 20:06

Go get him Pavlov - he has been poorly/away. Give him a few more nights before you put him in own bed (or pop in when asleep which is what I do). Dd always more unsettled when been ill/away or change of scene.

sprinkles77 · 30/12/2011 20:07

YANBU but unless you want this to be a long term co-sleeping arrangement, I wouldn't do it. Why not go and stroke his head and sing to him till he drifts off, and wean him off needing you to sleep over the next few days / weeks?

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 30/12/2011 20:08

Dh is not impressed, in fact if he comes home tonight after night out with the boys to find hi in our bed he will be quite cross. AND the bloody doctor did not help...he gave us some medical advice about paracetamol followed by his own personal opinion that we should not have grout him in with us when sick. Dh is taking at advice as Fact. He is now going on about Rods (sigh)

OP posts:

discrete · 30/12/2011 20:08

Aw, poor little thing. Bring him in...

Greythorne · 30/12/2011 20:09

We sleep four in a bed and love it.
Why notz?
Just do what makes the most people in the house get the most sleep.

Greythorne · 30/12/2011 20:09

Notz???
Not

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 30/12/2011 20:10

Sprinkles he won't settled when I go in, he does and as soon as I move away he wakes crying. Been retrying this for an hour.

OP posts:

MudAndGlitter · 30/12/2011 20:10

Can you move him when he crashes?

Gigondas · 30/12/2011 20:10

Perhaps you can mention something about Rods if dh has a headache after his night out?

I am as far from a co sleeping type as you can get (hence suggestion of putting him back in bed) when asleep but If they are sick and unsettled I think you need a bit of leeway.

discrete · 30/12/2011 20:10

Try what dh and I have done - have two double beds. I put the dc to sleep in one and go to sleep with dh in the other.

That way if the dc are very unsettled at night I can go and sleep with them. If they are OK I can sleep with dh.

And if they keep me up all night at least dh has got a good night's sleep and he can take them and give me a lie-in in the morning...

KellyKettle · 30/12/2011 20:11

Yanbu

I love cuddling my DDs in bed, I know they're happy and warm and I get more sleep.

Hope hes in with you now

iambach · 30/12/2011 20:13

Id go and get him. As perplex said both of you can be unhappy or happy.

westonsorganic · 30/12/2011 20:15

What Gigondas said x

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 30/12/2011 20:16

K he is with me. Gonna go snuggle. Be back later

OP posts:

HandMini · 30/12/2011 20:17

You need to agree a plan with your DH, otherwise this is going to turn into an ongoing argument between you.

Pishtushette · 30/12/2011 20:18

YANBU. We have DD in bed with us when she's ill or can't sleep. When she went through a period of sleeping through I really missed snuggling up and seeing her face as soon as I woke in the morning.

Teaandcakeplease · 30/12/2011 20:18

Could you lie in his bed with him until he drifts off and then sneak out ninja style? It's not a long term solution but has been known to work with my 2 year old boy on clingy days.

However he now seems to go to sleep in his own bed every night, and then sneak into mine half way through the night, and I'm too tired to notice until the morning But I sleep in a king size bed on my own since divorce. So it's not a problem as far as I see it. I keep telling myself he won't be doing this at 16 and I want to make the most of it. With DD I was so worried about getting her into bad habits I was so fierce about her sleeping in her own bed and now feel guilty.

Anyway back to you not me Hope he's not crying anymore and you're with him in his bed or yours

Sirzy · 30/12/2011 20:19

DS never sleeps with me but he is poorly so wanted to come into my bed last night, we both got so much more sleep that way. He is in his own bed for now but if he wants to share with me later then fine. (he is 2 aswell)

Hope your DS feels better soon

mumblecrumble · 30/12/2011 20:22

We have DD in our bed if she is poorly, like poorly poorly not just a sniffle. It has NOT affected her going to bed really well in her own bed.

I have convinced her that sleeping alone can be a nice way to sleep as you have more space and that getting in togetehr is for when we need to be together :)

Personally I think gut feelings are good indicators of what parents and kids need. You can work on happy sleeping in his own bed when he is better.

BarbarianMum · 30/12/2011 20:26

I co-sleep when my children are ill (they are 6 and 3) but we have a spare bed for dh to move to. I don't feel UABU unless your dh is unable to sleep with a child in the bed and has no other option.

dearprudence · 30/12/2011 20:35

I'm glad you're snuggling. It's what I would do.

I would probably try and move him back into his own bed once he was fast asleep, but I don't see any problem in sleeping with him at this age and in these circumstances.

HollyShitty · 30/12/2011 20:50

My 2 year old has also been ill all over Christmas and he's been in with me and DP for about 10 days now. Today though, he's a lot better and asked to sleep in his own room. I'll miss him
Anyway, seriously, what are the awful consequences of co-sleeping people seem to think exist?

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