AIBU to think that generalising about men is totally unacceptable

[Hedgeblog]

I have recently seen a few status updates on facebook on the lines of 'arghh men, why can't my DH do what I tell him'. Also on here I have also seen similar posts that men are just useless.
AIBU to think that generalising about men in this way is totally unacceptable and should the negative stereotyping be the other way round women would be in uproar.

Never mind Facebook, you see it on MN a lot too.

YANBU

YANBU. Men are fantastic (in the main) much maligned beings. I'm a big fan of men :o (take that how you wish :o)

100% agree.

YANBU. At all. This makes me sick too and I'm a feminist. Ditto talk about 'man flu', men 'babysitting' their own children and women who fall about laughing at the idea of increased paternity leave because well, men are blinkin' useless with babies aren't they?

YANBU

Hmmm... Surely, generalising about any group is pretty pointless?

YANBU.

YANBU.

YANBU

generalising about any group of people is wrong. and lazy.

all men are...
all women are...
all black people are...
all asian people are...

I disagree - whilst obviously there are exceptions amongst any category or group of people, I still think that drawing observations based on any group has a fairly accurate basis (there's no smoke without fire).

Like saying that certain ethnicities have certain characteristics (i.e. Chinese are dark haired), I think that you can say that certain groups (men, gay men, lesbians, women, children) also have certain characteristics.

Of course no group is 100% homogeneous, but inferences can still be found. For example, statistics show that young males are more dangerous drivers than young females. That's not to say that there are no safe, young male drivers. But one can generalise.

I do believe that men and women are fundamentally wired differently and have different traits that aren't explained by upbringing or societal conventions. I think we are inherently, biologically different in certain ways.

Hecate I totally agree but I thankfully I have never read a post 'all women are' or 'all black/asian/white are' However, I regularly see posts about how crap men are, both on here and facebook.

Yanbu.

My mum is constantly on about men. 'That's just what men do/are like'. 'Well, men just don't think do they?', 'He's a man, what do y

Freck that's a bit different to calling them useless and the other things written in the OP.

'I do believe that men and women are fundamentally wired differently and have different traits that aren't explained by upbringing or societal conventions'

Do share FreckledLeopard

YANBU. It especially gets my goat when it is used to make servants of women. "Men don't see mess." "Men need more down time from their jobs."

It's amazing how 'hard' childcare is when these men are doing it and how 'easy' when their wives are.

My DH can look after our child, do housework, go out to work and still not collapse in a gibbering heap. And, he's not that much of a genetic freak, I'm pretty sure.

statistical finding =/= generalization*

*statistically, posters who use mathematical symbols for pretentious effect are most often male. But not in this case.

Oops '...you expect'??'. And not in a joking way. It annoys my sister as she says it in front of her grandchildren.

" I think we are inherently, biologically different in certain ways."

Yep. men have penises.

Freckled

Saying Chinese people have black hair is not negative or qualitative is it?

You cannot make qualitative negative generalisations upon a group. All men are NOT crap fathers, so if someone's DH has been crap then say that don't groan and say 'MEN'. It's not men it's the DH in question.

well, it's one thing to say that black people have dark skin and quite another to say black people are all, I dunno, thieves.

It's one thing to say that rta statistics show a higher proportion of young males than middle aged women involved in accidents and quite another to say that all men are idle.

There are statistics about groups, there are genetic similarities within some groups, but that's a different thing from taking a negative personality trait and chucking it at an entire group of people.

My DH can look after our child, do housework, go out to work and still not collapse in a gibbering heap. And, he's not that much of a genetic freak, I'm pretty sure.

So can mine but I wonder how confident he would be at doing those things if I or his mum had continually put him down and called him 'useless'...and assumed even before the baby was born that he would never cope as well as a woman?

YANBU at all. It's so insulting! Men aren't children, they are adults and can reasonably be expected to have some things they are better at than others. Not all men are the same.

Hecate
We have crossed posts saying pretty the same thing

YANBU, it's annoying and stupid when women say things like that. And it's not even doing them any favours themselves, this 'men are useless' stuff is all part of the 'women should be responsible for everything at home' myth.