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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find passive aggressive facebook statuses very annoying?

170 replies

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 09:36

Someone on my friends list keeps doing very passive aggressive statuses. She normally uses Facebook as Brag Book, every status is about what they've got or bought, but at the moment she clearly has a bee in her bonnet about something. She is putting things like "I know who my real friends are" and "New Year's resolution is to ditch anyone that isn't a true friend", and various other things.

I just don't understand the mentality behind that kind of thing. It just makes everyone on your friends' list paranoid and makes you look childish IMO.

OP posts:

hellhasnofury · 28/12/2011 09:38

Play her at her own game, hide her posts.

troisgarcons · 28/12/2011 09:39

Dump her.

Original poster

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 09:40

I think some of them may be aimed at me, as we were close friends for a while, or so I thought, but it suddenly dawned on me that it was a very one-sided friendship and that she only wanted to spend time with me when she had no one better to be with or she needed a favour. So I started refusing favours and really pulled back from the "friendship".

OP posts:

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 28/12/2011 09:41

Posts like that are pathetic - and are usually intimately linked to pathetic individuals!

Original poster

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 09:41

It would be a case of me suggesting we met for coffee and she's say "erm, I'm so busy but can meet up in 3 weeks time" yet would have plenty of time to meet others for lunch and coffee, and then in those 3 weeks would ask me for childcare favours. It's like I was good enough for the favours but not to spend time with.

OP posts:

FourThousandHoles · 28/12/2011 09:41

I have a few FB friends that do this, mostly teenagers/early 20's women I have to say. I keep them as friends as it amuses me.

My Mum (who is in her 60's) and my sister (who falls into the above category) have an odd love/hate relationship and used to do this in each other's direction all the time. Dsis defriended Mum and it all stopped. It was cringeworthy.

Haziedoll · 28/12/2011 09:48

I hate it when people do this. A relative recently said "it's a shame that you can choose your family but not your friends". I asked her what the problem was but she ignored me. I hate attention-seeking statuses like that because you start wondering whether it's you.

Haziedoll · 28/12/2011 09:48

Choose your friends not your family obviously

pigletmania · 28/12/2011 09:51

I would get there first, and delete her, why keep her on FB.

Meglet · 28/12/2011 09:58

I also keep people like this on my list as it's so frickin' crazy.

I can't get my head round why they do it . Either spit it out, have a good moan or keep it zipped.

PeelThemWithTheirMithrasKnives · 28/12/2011 10:00

It is v annoying. I also hate ones like "I'm feeling so sad" plainly so everybody else is meant to ask what is the matter. I never do on a matter of principle.

It's good though when these don't get a single response. So worth keeping in case that happens

hackmum · 28/12/2011 10:00

How old is she? 12? I have a couple of FB friends like this but luckily they're not close friends. It is utterly pathetic.

ClaraSage · 28/12/2011 10:02

Hide, delete, whatever?
That way you disempower her.

Original poster

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 10:02

If I did statuses like that I would worry that I would upset friends that weren't the person I was "getting at" with the status. She has just done another one about having a major friends cull especially for 2012. That is another type of status that annoys me; I mean, if you're going to delete people, then just delete them, don't make a song and dance about it beforehand. People are already commenting "Oooh hope you're not deleting me Hun" Bleurgh

OP posts:

lljkk · 28/12/2011 10:03

DH has a distant cousin who says stuff like that, she is about 50yo, I find it very strange & just ignore.

StellaNova · 28/12/2011 10:04

I keep them as friends but just set it to ignore or whatever it's called so it doesn't show up. Then should I want a nice dose of passive aggressiveness I can go and look at their page, but generally it doesn't affect my life. They can carry on thinking they are aiming little darts at me (or whoever it is), I am oblivious, we are all happy. Wish you could do that in real life too. A pair of invisible ear muffs could descend whenever certain people start speaking.

Original poster

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 10:04

LOL Hackmum, she's 40!! I know, ridiculous isn't it!

Peelthem, this woman does the "sad" statuses too, and yes totally worth keeping to watch zero responses. It does sometimes happen and she just does more and more attention seeking ones about all sorts of things until people comment, it's hilarious.

OP posts:

YouOldSlag · 28/12/2011 10:07

I hate this too, YANBU. I have one FB friend who says things like "I just can't believe some people!" and her friends all say "what is it hun?" etc, and she always replies "can't say on Facebook". It's maddening and it's just plain attention seeking.

Posters are right when they say it makes people paranoid too. Another friend often says "Some people can really let you down and you know who you are" etc. Equally infuriating. Grrr.

spiderpig8 · 28/12/2011 10:10

i actually find it quite entertaining laughing at people like this

Original poster

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 10:10

Youoldslag, yes my "friend" says these things too. When she can't say on FB she'll say to selected people that reply "Will PM you".

It makes me laugh that these grown women are just so pathetic that they need to air their dirty laundry on a networking site, and also that they can't sort out any problems in a grown up manner with the person that has offended them so much. I never reply to my "friend" so if she is aiming anything at me she must get very annoyed that I don't bite.

OP posts:

Tinselrella · 28/12/2011 10:13

I am at the 'can't say on FB' posts - honestly, why say anything at all?!

If I were you Queen, I would just delete her from FB and from my life. She doesn't sound worth any effort at all.

happynew2012 · 28/12/2011 10:13

Oh yes I hate statuses like 'having a really shite day' cue loads of comments 'what's up hun?'
'I'll text you hun'

Well why not bloody text in the first place

Some people I've discovered are really down people, depressed all the time, but I don't know them that well it's just they post every hour 'I hate fecking xmas' 'is it over yet?' and you just know they'll be the ones in January moaning about going back to work, in June it's too hot, in august the Sch holidays are too long
And so it goes on.....

mrspepperpotty · 28/12/2011 10:17

The only FB friend I have who regularly does this is a teenager. Says it all really.

namechangerbat · 28/12/2011 10:18

A have a friend like this. She has a SN child and regularly writes statuses along the lines of "all of you with normal children can FUCK OFF I know that we are perfect just how we are and we dont need any of you bastards"

fine.

When I deleted her she got the right hump and sent me abusive texts. Great hey!?

Original poster

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 10:18

I have a teenager and she and some of her mates are on my FB friends, and I can honestly say that none are as bad as this woman. I get more annoyed with the teenagers for doing those ghastly copy and paste status things.

OP posts:

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