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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find passive aggressive facebook statuses very annoying?

170 replies

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 09:36

Someone on my friends list keeps doing very passive aggressive statuses. She normally uses Facebook as Brag Book, every status is about what they've got or bought, but at the moment she clearly has a bee in her bonnet about something. She is putting things like "I know who my real friends are" and "New Year's resolution is to ditch anyone that isn't a true friend", and various other things.

I just don't understand the mentality behind that kind of thing. It just makes everyone on your friends' list paranoid and makes you look childish IMO.

OP posts:
Awayinamangercooper · 28/12/2011 22:19

"Going to have a fb cull. Will you make the cut???"

Hate that. Utterly wankerish. Sometimes entailing a series of cuts.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 28/12/2011 22:26

Someone on my friends list, who seems to think she is a celebrity and that the world revolves around her and her child, recently posted "For privacy reasons I am going to have a cull of all those that I don't know extremely well. I hope you understand that it's to protect my privacy". People started commenting "ooooh don't cull me, we've known each other for years" and that sort of thing, then she came back and announced she had culled 5!! Out of 500 friends!!

OP posts:
jasper · 28/12/2011 22:54

I loathe the secret messages women on fb post allegedly to promote breast cancer awareness.
"blue, under the bed" and all that nonsense.

Flanelle · 28/12/2011 22:55

YANBU. Horrible.

HouseOfBambooootiful · 28/12/2011 22:59

I think people should have to pass some sort of test in order to be allowed to use FB. Anyone with a Fuckwit Score higher than 10% should be immediately banned from ever typing in public.

ZillionChocolate · 28/12/2011 23:39

HouseOfBambooootiful why stop at facebook? Lets have a test for the whole internet.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 29/12/2011 00:04

There is a new version going round.
'I am opening a new facebook account and deleting this one so if you want to be on my friends list inbox me'

needy? attention seeking? much?

FellatioNelson · 29/12/2011 05:35

Hahaha - yes, that might be a case of 'be careful what you wish for!'

So (for future reference then) do people know if you have blocked them? Or would I know if someone blocked me?

BandOMothers · 29/12/2011 05:40

I am with you....I have a friend who is there when she needs me but not the other way around. As we get older we're less inclined to put up with it! Cull your mates!

HouseOfBambooootiful · 29/12/2011 09:23

Zillion - fine idea. I will design a 'public typing test' forthwith. It will have a passive aggression and fuckwittery calibrator. Oh and a spelling module. Use of terms such as 'lil' for little will result in an instant lifetime ban from the internet.

notveryinventive · 29/12/2011 10:27

Fellatio The only way to tell if someone has blocked you is when they comment on something and someone replies to them. It looks wierd as you cant see the person who has blocked you. I lost a friend once and couldnt see them so set up a secret account in a completely random name to see if they blocked me or just left facebook. They blocked me, but that was because they blocked a few of us, we are now friends.

Zombi · 29/12/2011 12:51

notveryinventive there is a friend I have whose statuses I can't comment on for this reason exactly. I have three people from my distant past who I'd like to keep there who are mutual friends with both of us. If I want to say anything to her I send her a message.

HouseOfBambooootiful · 29/12/2011 13:02

There's a difference between 'blocking' and 'hiding' though isn't there?

Blocking is when they aren't on your Friends list at all, and you block them from ever seeing anything you do on FB (even if you have mutual Friends), and if they search for your name it won't come up.

'Hiding' is when they are on your Friends list, but their status updates and comments don't go on to your feed (so you are saved from endless amounts of tedious and annoying trivia should you want to be). Is that right?

So if someone has hidden you, does that mean you can't comment on their posts if you went to their profile?

SingingSands · 29/12/2011 13:08

I have a FB friend who greets us all each morning with "good morning, didn't sleep last night, insomnia grrr". When you look at her FB posts, she's posting all through the night, every vacuous thought that enters her head, it's not bloody insomnia she's got it's an addiction to FB!

everlong · 29/12/2011 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zombi · 29/12/2011 13:35

houseofbamboo these people are actually blocked. My friend and I talk at length and if I commented on her statuses it would be very obcious to the people I've blocked that she's having a conversation with a person who's blocked them. It's just easier to communicate through messages and on my updates than on hers. That way no-one asks questions.

Zombi · 29/12/2011 13:37

houseofbamboo just realised that your post wasn't about mine. Sorry.

notveryinventive · 29/12/2011 13:46

Yes there is a difference between blocking and hiding.

If you block someone they cant see you and you cant see them. So if you comment on a friends status they wont see it whether you have blocked them or if they have blocked you.

Hiding is where you are friends with someone, but they dont appear in your newsfeed. You can go onto their profile at anytime and post on their status's and you can see their comments (I think) on other friends status's (agghhhhh just what is the plural of status?) The endless drival from them just doenst take up your screen when going on FB. I have many people Ive hidden, these are people who I really dont care about, but I cant unfriend them as it would cause too many problems. Dont know if that works both ways like blocking does though.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 29/12/2011 15:09

Well this afternoon one of my friends who feels the need to document anything and everything on FB has posted a photo of her kids sitting IN THE CINEMA! In the dark! You can barely see them. Bizarre

OP posts:
carernotasaint · 29/12/2011 15:57

ive decided i want to leave facebook but ive looked all over and am not sure how to deactivate the account. Would one of you kind people tell me how when you have got time. Thanks xx

tringle · 29/12/2011 16:31

Carer it's under settings, account settings, general. But you can never properly leave. Your profile will be sitting in cyber space waiting for you to reactivate forever.

Don't tell ya that when you set one up at first do they? Wink

carernotasaint · 29/12/2011 16:46

Thanks tringle i managed to work it out in the end and ive done it but thanks for replying. Its the passive aggressive stuff that was pissing me off too. Some people just act really childishly on there. And then the changes they have recently brought in and the changes to come were the final straw.
I had simply had enough.

nicknamenotinuse · 29/12/2011 16:46

ditch her or hide her.

Tinselrella · 29/12/2011 17:01

I have to sit on my hands so often.

It's the messages with countless exclamation marks that get me. Eg 'just back from shopping at Tescos!!!!!!!!! Sat down with a cup of tea!!!!!!!!!! Fed the cat!!!!!! Off to work later!!!!!!!!!!!!' that get me. If you need to use an exclamation mark, usually one will do.

tringle · 29/12/2011 17:05

Tinselrella when I see a status like that, massive overuse of the !, my fingers itch to comment "calm the fuck down love, you'll give yourself a heartattack.