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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with family and friends?

62 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 27/12/2011 23:49

Ds2 4th birthday today and he got a total
Of 3 cards excluding us and his big brother and little sister. They were from - mil, uncle on Dhs side and one oft 3 sisters.

His 6 other aunts didn't bother, not did any close friends or my parents again

The excuse is because it is near Christmas :-(

OP posts:

ddubsgirl · 27/12/2011 23:51

HollyPricklesMyFanjo · 27/12/2011 23:52

Thats sad! My Mum has her birthday at the start of January and often got presents that were " for your birthday too". It sucks.

ddubsgirl · 27/12/2011 23:55

mines apr and would get that too and then be sat there on xmas while everyone else opening stuff and i wouldnt :( that was my stepmums doing tho,every mean to do that to a child.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 27/12/2011 23:55

I've been told by my mum he should have his birthday in the summer ffs he was born 27 Dec and that's when it is.

OP posts:

GingerSnapsBack · 27/12/2011 23:57

Yanbu to be sad. My dd was 3 on Fri and we always make a fuss of her birthday as i think its important especially as ds gets a "proper" birthday. I would be upset if family didn't get her presents because its near Christmas especially as they make an effort for ds birthday. Do they buy presents for your other ds on his birthday?

slowburner · 28/12/2011 00:02

My birthday is early January and it sucks. It has always sucked and will always suck. Everyone is too tired, skint and forgetful. I had to suffer endless 'for your,birthday too' stunts, my sister is the day after boxing day, every year gets a 'special' party, every year gets presents, every year has a great time.

YANBU. they just can't make the effort and that sucks.

Sorry. It seems sucks is the only descriptive work I have left in my vocabulary!

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 28/12/2011 00:09

Yes ds1. gets cards and gifts too. It's not the gifts tho, it's the cards. For his first birthday I wanted to keep them for him, which I did but again his grandparents forgot. They told me on phone they'd bought one so I may have "lost" it. I haven't.

OP posts:

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 28/12/2011 00:09

I got two birthday cards (just before Christmas) and one Christmas card. I got dozens of birthday messages on Facebook, lots of texts and a few phone calls, though. I didn't know people still sent cards. Is it realistic to expect them?

RachelHRD · 28/12/2011 00:16

That's so and your Mum/parents should be ashamed of themselves - there is no excuse for grandparents to be so lax. Did anyone 'combine' presents and state so on the xmas tag? Even if they did - for close family that is really off poor little fella.

GingerSnapsBack · 28/12/2011 00:18

Of course it is lesser he's a little kid and won't have facebook or the like. That's horrible op its not like he chose his birthday and if they care they should at least send a card. I wouldn't believe "its lost" for a second they're just trying to shift the blame

ddubsgirl · 28/12/2011 00:20

we have my dn & my twins in dec and my other dn at start of jan,we always get sep birthday/xmas stuff,just because its close to xmas even if b/day was in middle of yr u would have to go and buy a present so why not when its dec/jan? either buy in during the year and put away or set the money aside.

HollyPricklesMyFanjo · 28/12/2011 00:21

Go the route of the Queen and make an official birthday in the summer..outdoors party and prezzies! If it's good enough for her.. . Mum always says she will do this!

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 28/12/2011 00:24

Lesser - he is 3 ffs. Of course he's not on Facebook.

Grandparents gave him a gift, set of wooden dominos which were lovely. It's the lack of cards. No Xmas or birthday gifts from aunts but I know 1 has and 1 sent card.

It really is the lack of cards I remener all their kids and send card with money or gift. I just feel bad for him

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 28/12/2011 00:26

Sorry 4 not 3 anymore got to get used to that

OP posts:

ddubsgirl · 28/12/2011 00:30

mama my kids only get from us pil sil & bil,dh is from a large family but never get anything from them nor my family,not even a text or card,but they know we love them and what they do get is special to them

hippysair · 28/12/2011 01:45

This is the reason why me and dh used protection when we were ttc, I worked out the timings and strictly said that I didn't want a Christmas baby, am pg now, due 7th Feb. Have got a nephew, who's birthday is on Thursday, and i always feel so sorry for him. We always nake sure we treat his birthday as we would with our other nieces and nephews, other family dont. He quite often gets birthday presents wrapped in xmas paper. Or combined Xmas/birthday gifts.
Such a shame, I really feel for your ds, op. Happy birthday little chap :)

NoHunIntended · 28/12/2011 02:18

hippysair, you could easily have been six weeks early, you know!

iscream · 28/12/2011 02:25

Send them all an e-mail telling them that they are rotten to put a strangers birthday before your sons birthday. They didn't even meet Jesus!

Their Christmas excuse is lame.

alittlebitcountry · 28/12/2011 03:55

Poor DS - if he's four now won't he start to notice in a year or so? Not a nice way to upset a child who can compare with what his sibling gets.

I'd be tempted to do the same back to anyone who does this. On their next birthday (even July or whenever) just say "sorry too close to Christmas" then when they object just sympathise with "hmmm know what you mean, its always sad for DS too".

yellowraincoat · 28/12/2011 04:01

Oh that's sad, my birthday is near Christmas, and although it does tend to get a little lost in the excitement. I definitely always got cards and presents from family though.

Definitely have a word, OP.

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 28/12/2011 04:34

This makes me so sad :(. DD has an early Jan birthday which just about seems ok so far (coming up 4) but this one could pop out any day now and have a really shit birthday date :(

HollyGoDroopy · 28/12/2011 04:52

It sucks. DD's bday is next week and when I mentioned it on boxing day they all pulled a face!

xmasmummytobe · 28/12/2011 05:46

MamaMaiasaura that's really sad and YANBU to be pissed off at them all.

I'm due any day now, EDD was 20/12/11. We were worried about near Christmas birthday but have a lot of friends who's birthday's are around this time. Not heard anything negative from them, nearly all love having their birthday's as adults during a party time. Hopefully this will bode well for you DS's future birthdays as he gets older but I'd kick people into touch in the mean time.

Do you send their DC birthday cards?

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 28/12/2011 08:05

Happysair -unfortunately we have fertility problems (well I do) so for us the timing was irrelevant as just having him was a journey.

I think I will speak to my mother, they make it hard to do so but I will.

I am tempted to put a Facebook status comment. I know on 30th my close friend will give him card and gift so I don't want her to feel like its aimed at her.

OP posts:

WorkingClassMum · 28/12/2011 08:29

Add message | Report | Message poster hippysair Wed 28-Dec-11 01:45:45
This is the reason why me and dh used protection when we were ttc, I worked out the timings and strictly said that I didn't want a Christmas baby

After 6 years of TTC I didn't care what date my child was born. ;)

My DD is a January baby and this was a problem a few times until we spoke up on her behalf. We don't buy her toys for her birthday though, we all buy her a small 9ct gold charm - she now has two bracelets worth over Au$1500 ea :o

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