Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be pissed off with family and friends?

62 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 27/12/2011 23:49

Ds2 4th birthday today and he got a total
Of 3 cards excluding us and his big brother and little sister. They were from - mil, uncle on Dhs side and one oft 3 sisters.

His 6 other aunts didn't bother, not did any close friends or my parents again

The excuse is because it is near Christmas :-(

OP posts:

stuffthenonsense · 28/12/2011 08:54

Poor DS :( i too have a christmas birthday (tomorrow) i hate it....at best its an afterthought, at worst its totally ignored. Christmas birthdays are so crap.

inkyfingers · 28/12/2011 09:39

Please talk to them and say you want his birthdays to be special and not to blame the date. They could put a card in post at same time as Xmas cards or whatever helps them remember or make it easier.

missdt89 · 28/12/2011 21:03

it sucks my bday is on new years day, n every year for the last few years especially is like no on e can be bothered at all with it im lucky to get a card! when i was a child i defo used to get less than my sis on birthdays her birthday being in feb! glad my girls birthdaaay is in august! x

ReebleBauble · 28/12/2011 21:10

My DD was one on Christmas day. My In-laws made a huge fuss and we had a birthday party on christmas morning. She had loads of cards and birthday presents wrapped in birthday paper from DPs family all over the world!

My family... Thats a whole other story. Not one card, no birthday presents or phone calls. I mentioned this to my sister who said "oh yeah! I knew she was born on christmas day and that she was one on Sunday but I never made the connection that it was her birthday too!'

Im not too bothered. Shes very lucky to get all that attention and Im so grateful to DPs family. Mostly just a bit at my familys blase attitude.

PeppaPigandGeorge · 28/12/2011 22:10

YANBU. It really is shit.

We have a rule of only one or two smallish presents for birthdays, otherwise my summer child would get shit loads in the middle of the year and my Christmas one would get Christmas presents, but some wrapped in different paper.

Oh dear lord hippysair - you used protection and worked out the timings?? I hope that smugness doesn't come back to slap you in the face, you smug twat. My late Jan / early Feb baby is my Christmas child.

duvetdayplease · 28/12/2011 22:13

YANBU, that is crap. Sorry your family aren't being more thoughtful. Really hope they shape up a bit if you talk to them.

duvetdayplease · 28/12/2011 22:16

Hippysair - our younger was induced rather early due to my illness - it's not always controllable. And for plenty of people, when you've had a fight to conceive, you can't afford to be fussy over due dates.

Gapants · 28/12/2011 22:18

My DS was 3 today, and it is a bit of a dud day and DH and I kill ourselves getting past Christmas and making his birthday special and fun. We have had a big party at our house with all his mates.

Howvere after some careful consideration I am going to "move" his birthday to July28th. On his actual birthday I am going to have us all go to the pant and a meal out but have his party and gifts in July. It is a a bit of a lull time, and he get smashed with gifts.

needanewname · 28/12/2011 22:19

Dd1 has a birthday in a couple of weeks and often gets forgotten by Dh's family. I would put it down to christmas but they didn't send cards for dd2 when it was her birthday in September either.

It makes me very angry as I never forget their children's birthdays. Dd2 was really upset that she only had 3 cards on her birthday and only my parents called.

What makes it worse is that both birthdays are the same days as other family members so it's not like they can forget

doradoo · 28/12/2011 22:26

Last year for DDs 1st birthday (DC3) she got her 'christmas' present - in christmas paper etc. We live overseas and my MIL is too tight to post anything to us - and couldn't manage to meet us when we made it back to the uK the weekend before Christmas - so having a bday next to christmas doesn't mean you'll not get a christmas wrapped present - bloody shit though for little ones - birthdays are birthdays and it doesn't matter what date they fall on. (ds1 and 2 didn't get anything last year.... and we're still waiting this year....)

It's like the same excuse if your birthday is at the beginning of the month and they;ve not turned the calendar over.....

Hope your DS has a lovely day though OP.

cheekeyiownitmonkey · 28/12/2011 22:26

Just want to wish all the mn's and their dc's who have Christmas birthdays....A Very Happy Birthday Feel for you all x

doradoo · 28/12/2011 22:31

Oops meant to day DDs bday is in March.....

duvetdayplease · 28/12/2011 22:31

Gapants - I just don't get that - you can't relocate a birthday by a whole six months can you?

WhereMyMilk · 28/12/2011 22:33

DS is 3 tomorrow! :o
Doing big family day out, with panto and lunch. Party for friends in new year when things a little calmer and more people around and free.

Gapants-we considered an honoury birthday too, but would suggest June, as 28th July crashes with summer hols, so also difficult I think!

WhereMyMilk · 28/12/2011 22:35

Thanks Cheeky! We can't wait! It is his special day. :o

Christmas is for everyone, so not so special, although exciting.

Gapants · 28/12/2011 22:39

duvetday well yes, I take your point it is a bit funny, but we will know when his real birthday is, and we will celebrate it as a family unit, but his big day will be in the summer. June is much better, thank you wheremymilk

duvetdayplease · 28/12/2011 22:48

Well, however you work it, I hope he has a lovely time on his birthday(s) :)

geekette · 29/12/2011 19:04

Hmm... you believe in birthday cards for every toddler in your extended family doesn't mean they believe the same thing. I doubt you can or should force them to think the way you do...

south345 · 29/12/2011 19:07

Ds2 was 2 on the 27th and no grandparents gave him a card or present, uncles and aunties did but I told them i thought it was unfair if they didn't at least get a card, if I didn't bother with their kids birthdays there would be hell on!

Almostfifty · 29/12/2011 19:46

I have reached the age of almost fifty (I know, I know) and have had this all my life.

All my life.

I apparently have been bitter and twisted about it for the whole of my life. If you don't do something about it now, it will colour your child's life forever.

This from someone who tries hard not to be bitter and twisted, and can see there is more to life, but still...

Katiekatiekatekate · 29/12/2011 20:04

It's my birthday this week and even my own parents have never really been able to put on much of a show. They managed to forget themselves a few times and DH only remembers if I really, really push it. Each year just before Christmas, when I mention it's my birthday in 10 days (or whatever) a look of horror comes over his face, as though it's the very first time he's ever heard of someone having a birthday the same week as Christmas.

You'll also want to watch out for completely rubbish birthday parties because everyone's snowed in/have colds. That was the worst thing for me, it always made me think I had no friends!! I recommend introducing a half birthday in June!

needanewname · 30/12/2011 09:00

Geekette, I believe that grandparents , aunts and uncles and god parents should send a child a birthday card, yes. Also to phone that child and wish them a happy birthday. I don't give a shit about presents, I know everyone had different financial situations, but to completely ignore a child on their birthday is wrong.

kerstina · 30/12/2011 09:24

YANBU it does suck especially if even his family forgot.
It was my birthday yesterday and I had cards from my family but only one of my close friends remembered and sent a card. I was feeling a bit paranoid yesterday as in what have I done this year to upset these people as they do usually make an effort. Am feeling I might forget their birthdays but that would be hard as they seem to mention it coming up weeks in advance.

tkband3 · 30/12/2011 09:30

My birthday is 23rd December and when I was about 5, my mum decided I should share her birthday in August for all my big presents from family (more to do with the fact that it was a pain having to buy everything I wanted/needed in December when there was stuff I might want/need in the summer too). On my proper birthday in December, I would get cards and a few small tokens to mark the day and I would have a party around that time for my friends.

It worked well until I was 18, and then they decided I was old enough to put up with a crap date for my birthday. Poor old DH though - we seem to have developed a tradition whereby we buy presents for our three DDs to give us as well (they are still too young to buy them for themselves) so he had 8 presents to get for me last week .

Summersoon · 30/12/2011 09:31

@ gapants - just to affirm what the other poster said - I wouldn't have his birthday during the school Summer holidays - once he gets to school age, it will be almost as bad as having one over Christmas! I see this with my DD's friends. I would work out when the Summer holidays usually are (about second or third week of July until early September if in England) and have his birthday just before. if you choose the first Saturday in July (as a moving date IYSWIM), he will be able to have an end-of-school year birthday party each year, which will be great, especially once he is in his teens and doing exams etc.

Flip

1 2 3