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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with family and friends?

62 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 27/12/2011 23:49

Ds2 4th birthday today and he got a total
Of 3 cards excluding us and his big brother and little sister. They were from - mil, uncle on Dhs side and one oft 3 sisters.

His 6 other aunts didn't bother, not did any close friends or my parents again

The excuse is because it is near Christmas :-(

OP posts:
hippysair · 30/12/2011 12:08

mamamaiasaura workingclassmum duvetdayplease nohunintended

I understand due to fertility problems that timing conception is not a priority or even considered when desperately ttc, and i, in no way am trying to blame you for the birthday of your child.

It's just that, i am fortunate enough (and very grateful) To not have fertility problems, we were trying to conceive this child for 8 months before we started using contraception, to try to avoid as much as possible, nothing you can do when nature has other ideas a christmas baby. And TBH both me and dh were actually quite shocked when the first time that we stopped using contraception, i conceived, as i said after 8 months of trying, we weren't expecting to conceive so quickly after resuming our ttc, but we were over the moon.

peppapigandgeorge

I am in no way trying to be smug, in anyway whatsoever! and i realise you can't prepare for everything, when a baby decides it wants to make an appearance there's usually very little that anyone can do to stop that. I just wanted to have a bit of control, as much as possible, in trying to prevent having a christmas baby. I also have a ds, who's birthday is 6wks before christmas. His birthday is close to christmas, but not ignored or rolled into one, as much as my nephew's and OP's DS is. It's not being close to christmas that becomes a problem, it's when it's during the actual festivities. IMO from 20th Dec-2nd Jan, christmas and birthday's seem to be rolled in to one, for many people who have birthday's during this period, and i was trying my best to avoid this for my unborn child, why is this such a bad thing? was me using contraception to prevent a christmas/new year baby, really that bad?

WorkingClassMum · 30/12/2011 13:01

Add message | Report | Message poster hippysair Fri 30-Dec-11 12:08:10
I am in no way trying to be smug,...

and i was trying my best to avoid this for my unborn child, why is this such a bad thing? was me using contraception to prevent a christmas/new year baby, really that bad?

Trying to avoid a XYZ time baby is not a bad thing, but your post comes across as very smug and condesending and in no way helps the op who's children are already born - it's hardly like she can shove them back up there and wait for a convenient time for them to be born now.

The op was lamenting that her child's birthday just get forgotten. BTW where I come from the school Christmas Holidays go for 6 weeks, we have it all organized that the end of the year is the best time for holidays, none of this stupid Christmas break in the winter stuff...

lurkinginthebackground · 30/12/2011 13:42

I don't think there is any ideal birthday as such.
Probably easier as a parent to have a baby around April/May.
My friend has said that her August born daughter always seems to miss out as she needs clothes for summer before August. I am a December birthday, albeit early December and I never felt as though I missed out as a child.
No excuse for not sending a card though.
My dd is beginning of Jan and I would never have chosen this, but since it took so long for me to conceive I was grateful to have a healthy baby, when ever she was born.

MamaMaiasaura · 30/12/2011 16:20

I had party for him today with few friends. It was really lovely Smile

Still no cards in post from family although a sister is coming over today with his card and gift.

OP posts:
Cherriesarelovely · 30/12/2011 16:25

I don't blame you at all for feeling upset about that. Your poor DS. I am a person with an early January birthday and am thinking of putting my bday in the summer simply because even I don't feel like partying at that time of year! Not that you should have to by any means!

mollymole · 30/12/2011 16:30

I am 24/12 and my son 01/01 birthdays and as children and adults our birthdays have always been recognised on the day they actually fall. IMO there is NO excuse at all, apart from being tightfisted, ignorant or bone idle that any one would not recogise a birthday on the day it actually falls.

catchafallingstar · 30/12/2011 16:41

My dd will be 6 on Jan 2 and this past summer we had a fairy tea party for her (July). She had a handful of friends, gorgeous sunny day in garden, all outside dresses up.... Perfect as she would never get this in Jan!

It was a good chance for school friends to get together during the summer holidays too. We didn't get presents or call it a birthday party though.

Will do the same in July again.
We are all going to a panto on her birthday on Monday though - taking her best friend too.

4madboys · 30/12/2011 16:44

yanbu! one of my boys has his bday 23rd dec and thankfully everyone still makes a fuss, more so even!

my sister had a baby on xmas day!! he wasnt due till the 12th jan! but obviously wanted out early! and next year i will make a HUGE fuss for his birthday! and so will family, he will get xmas AND birthday presents and cards, in the appropriate wrapping paper!!!

To2012AndBeyondTheLimits · 30/12/2011 16:50

I'm mollymoles birthday buddy! Grin

As my mums PFB, she never gave anyone the option of joint presents or ignoring my birthday. My mum can be eeeevil... Wink

youarekidding · 30/12/2011 16:58

YANBU. Cousin has xmas day birthday, friends DD boxing day, cousin on 28th, his DD 28th! and another cousins DD today. All got cards and the three children a gift as well.

The rest of my cousins children and my DS are all mid August! They're cards are always late as people away but they do get cards and gifts. Grin

bananatrifle · 30/12/2011 17:04

My DS2 was born on Christmas eve and luckily all our family on all sides have always acknowledged it.

He's 24 yrs old now, but when he was younger it was hard for him to wait all year for his pressies. Someone helpfully also suggested we hold his birthday in the summer, but with 3 siblings to also juggle, it never happened. And I think he would have ended up with 2 birthdays really, and the rest just have the one.

It is sad that your DS missed out and I would be highly pissed off with anyone who couldn't be bothered to give him a card.

MamaMaiasaura · 30/12/2011 18:20

It's good that so many with Xmas birthdays do still get made a fuss of. I have 2 other dc (October and February), so the idea of giving him birthday in summer is unworkable and unfair. It's not his birthday in summer. My birthday is July and often people were on holiday for my party so I stopped having them. I do treat kids in summer to a joint outdoor gift like climbing frame.

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