Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to loose it with MIL next time?

128 replies

inspireme · 27/12/2011 16:02

So on Christmas day at my SIL's I started plating up DH's dinner, as all my sil's were doing for their DH's. My MIL went to grab the plate off me and said she''d do it, I said nicely, no it's ok you get yours, as she had already done PIL's, she said no I'll do it, once again I said it's ok u get your own as I had the plate in my hand and had already started it, so cue the too- ing and fro-ing of "I'll do it" "no it's ok you get your own and sit down" Etc.

So after a few of these i had to give in (as i knew it was gonna end in a row) and let her do it, I know its really trivial but it's typical of her not wanting to let go even though we're married with a DS.

The main reason I wanted to do it was the fact that she never makes vegetables for anyone as she doesn't like them and assumes everyone else doesn't too, when DH loves them so I knew he wouldn't get any.

She has also done this before regarding DS, one example is when Im about to feed him she insists on doing it to the point that I have to give in to avoid a row! (DS has reflux and is v hard to feed, and gets annoyed when other people do it)

AIBU to think that if u keep pushing people and insisting on doing things that they clearly don't want u to do they will eventually loose it??

So WIBU too loose it the next time she does this??

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 27/12/2011 16:05

Just say firmly to her "Thank you, but I prefer to do it myself"

HollyGoDroopy · 27/12/2011 16:06

Why couldn't your dh plate his own dinner up?

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/12/2011 16:06

Why on earth did the 'men' not put their own food on their plates - thats most odd.

And you would be unreasonable to lose it over that - just walk away.

StepAwayFromTheMincePies · 27/12/2011 16:08

lose away.... it might be the only thing that works.

BastedTurkey · 27/12/2011 16:08

What Mrs CB said

ruddynorah · 27/12/2011 16:08

Next time how about everyone serves themselves. How very odd to have the wimmin serving the men.

GreenandBlacksAddict · 27/12/2011 16:08

1, Train Dh to plate up own dinner
2, Avoid MIL then no need for her to annoy you - haven't seen/spoke to mine for 6 years and its wonderful !

StealthPolarBear · 27/12/2011 16:09

the wives do the dinners for their DH Xmas Hmm

Original poster
inspireme · 27/12/2011 16:10

Because there wasnt alot of room so DH's and kids sat at table and every woman was to do her DH and kids, to make it easier. The plating up was done at cooker area not on table iyswim.

Sooty she doesn't seem to get the firmly approach either!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/12/2011 16:10

Blimey, I know I can be old fashioned, but I would still expect my adult husband to be capable of putting his own food on his own plate...

HollyGoDroopy · 27/12/2011 16:11

Holy shit! Do you live in the 1950's?

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 27/12/2011 16:11

Maybe that's how things were done in the 1950s, which you all seem to be living in. Hmm

LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 27/12/2011 16:11

What everyone else said. Men incapable of serving themselves?

Ps. it's lose. 'Loose' is when something is too big.

StealthPolarBear · 27/12/2011 16:12

Well that's true for most places, where usually one or two people (OK usually women) serve everyone - or everything goes in serving dishes

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/12/2011 16:13

I just knew we were all going to fixate on the women 'plating up' for their menfok Grin

Original poster
inspireme · 27/12/2011 16:13

So do you think it would be easier for 12 people to be standing round one small area on top of other or for 4 people to do the plating up for own family?

OP posts:
Katisha · 27/12/2011 16:13

Every woman was to do her DH and kids? DId you all also do the washing up?

LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 27/12/2011 16:14

Why the women though? Probably easier for one person to do it all.

DontFreekinEatMeImJustATurkey · 27/12/2011 16:14

My DH actually served up my Christmas meal.. because it was more practical for him to do so. I sometimes dish for him at meal times, he for me sometimes. We each know what the other likes, and quantities.

I would NOT give in to MIL.. what a pain in the ass.. she is usurping your role in her son's life.

HollyGoDroopy · 27/12/2011 16:15

Do you and mil fight over who warms his pipe and slippers too?

MrsSleepy · 27/12/2011 16:15

Whoever cooks does the dishing up in my house.

In other words DH dishes up!!

baubleybobbityhat · 27/12/2011 16:15

I would fekkin 'loose' it with my mil simply for instigating a system where the wifeys serve all the dc and the menz. I'd laugh in anyone's face who tried to serve a meal to my family in that manner.

SantasBigSack · 27/12/2011 16:17

Couldn't the men plate up? The wife and the mother fighting over who gets to serve the master eh? What year is this again?

pigletmania · 27/12/2011 16:17

That is strange, can't people take it in turns so there isen't a lot of people at the buffet.

squeakytoy · 27/12/2011 16:18

I would put all the food onto serving plates and let all the adults help themselves.