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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FIL

122 replies

LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 25/12/2011 22:18

Sorry, another in-law one.

Family in law came to visit yesterday. FIL had a cold, and was grumpy. Upset my mum and my sister (refused to move seats so that my mum could sit on the same table as everyone else in the pub, shouted at my sister when she asked him to move)... but my AIBU is this:

AIBU to have words with him over the following?:

We have a very vicious cat. Everyone knows to keep away from her, in fact it had been a point of conversation a few minutes before this episode. FIL hates the fact that he can't win the cat over, and tends to wind her up.

He was playing with DD and a ball, hiding it for her to find it. He made it disappear, and wanted DD (2.5) to find it. She looked and looked and lost enthusiasm, he kept bringing her back to the game, keen for her to find it. Eventually he showed her where he had hidden it. It was under the cat. So he wanted her to disturb a cat that she knew would attack her (often quite badly). I just don't get it. Why would he do that? To his 2 year old granddaughter? Should I/DH bring it up or forget it?

OP posts:
thebigkahuna · 25/12/2011 22:21

YANBU to be pissed of with Fil.

YABU to keep a two year old in a house with a cat that could attack her quite badly.

EricNordmanfirandMistletoe · 25/12/2011 22:21

You should rehome the cat. And your fil is an arse.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 25/12/2011 22:22

She knows to keep away from the cat and does so. Cat isn't a danger to her, unless provoked (which she knows not to do).

OP posts:
FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 25/12/2011 22:23

He probably just thought it was a funny place to hide it and didn't think she'd find it

squeakytoy · 25/12/2011 22:23

Shame the cat didnt attack him when he put the ball under her.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 25/12/2011 22:24

Yes, I thought that Squeaky.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 25/12/2011 22:24

He sounds like a real treat Hmm

I am wondering though, how did he get the ball under your violent cat without getting attacked himself? Genuinely - surely if it's that bad then it would have gone for him when he disturbed it to get the ball under it? Confused

thebigkahuna · 25/12/2011 22:24

Ah ok, I was confused because you said "he wanted her to disturb a cat that she knew would attack her (often quite badly)".

I kind of read that as meaning the cat had attacked her badly, often.

I would still rehome that cat though.

Merry christmas!

Sirzy · 25/12/2011 22:24

Sounds like your both being unreasonable to me,

Why keep an animal you know is likely to harm your daughter? And on reading your post I get the impression she has done before (where you say "often quite badly")

You need to find a new home for the cat

Original poster
LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 25/12/2011 22:26

Ah, that's my wording, sorry. She has scratched DD before, not so badly, but has attacked me/DH badly a number of times. For years, we have steered clear of her, and DD does too.

No idea how he got the ball under the cat. Confused

OP posts:
namechangerbat · 25/12/2011 22:26

Forget him. He's a twat.

Fwiw about having an evil cat and kids. I have three anti social nightmare cats. All owned prior children and they are happy. No way I would re home them as they dont want to cuddle the kids. Kids stay away from cats and vise versa. Job done

Original poster
LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 25/12/2011 22:29

Exactly namechange. DD has no reason to go near her, and she keeps away from DD. Rehoming the cat would be very likely to fail, resulting in her possible death. I'd rather risk the children getting scratched, but I certainly don't plan for attacks to happen!

OP posts:
SantasENormaSnob · 25/12/2011 22:32

Fil is a prick.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 25/12/2011 22:33

Agreed. Speak to him about it or forget it?

OP posts:
namechangerbat · 25/12/2011 22:34

My youngest cat is positively evil and leaves the children well alone. But bites dp's face in the night if we don't lock the little fucker down stairs

EndoplasmicReticulum · 25/12/2011 22:34

You need to find a way to set the cat on FIL. Can you put cat's food under him?

namechangerbat · 25/12/2011 22:34

Don't mention it to him as nothing actually happened. But if he ever does any thing like that again, intervene.

TheSecondComing · 25/12/2011 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BandOMothers · 25/12/2011 22:36

Don't bring it up with him...have nothing to do with the creature from now on. ANY man that shouted at my Mum would be shit in my eyes...and as for the cat trick...I might have slapped him,

ClutchingAtMyPearls · 25/12/2011 22:38

Ok. Someone help me out here.

How do you get a ball underneath a vicious cat - and having got it there how do you ensure it stays there? In my albeit limited experience of ill tempered moggies the cat would simply not tolerate having a ball hidden underneath it. No pet would sit nice with something under it whilst waiting patiently for some human to find it.

OP - are you a little bit making this up?

ForkInTheForeheid · 25/12/2011 22:38

Your fil is a twat. You're weird for keeping a horrid cat that doesn't get on with anyone. I can understand it would be difficult to re home - that being the case can you not restrict it to an area of the house where it will not attack bother anyone?

RumourOfAHurricane · 25/12/2011 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Casmama · 25/12/2011 22:42

I think your priorities are seriously misplaced if the potential failure of rehoming your cat is more important to you than the risk it poses to your toddler. I'm really surprised by the people on this thread who keep viscious animals - why on earth would you do that?

namechangerbat · 25/12/2011 22:44

Because the only other choice is to have them killed. Hmm

And my cats don't go near the children. So no drama.

Casmama · 25/12/2011 22:44

So surprised I seem to have lost the ability to spell vicious.