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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

a lot of churches are unfriendly and christianity can be hypocritical

138 replies

boglach · 20/12/2011 20:48

My ds carol service today. i took my 2 year old dd. she didn't sit perfectly still no, but neither was she loud or badly behaved. i was getting dirty looks.

now excuse me but i was under the impression that jesus was supposed to have loved children and that churches should welcome families?

also when i was younger i tried to find god. i went to a couple of churches which were most exclusive and unfriendly so i rapidly lost faith.

sometimes christianity feels like another clique. if your face fits then fine.

What a pile of tosh

OP posts:

Original poster

boglach · 20/12/2011 22:20

Absolutely cherrie. i actually have a lovely christian friend but she still thinks i am going to hell because i don't have faith

OP posts:

Original poster

boglach · 20/12/2011 22:22

'some adult droning on'

'try a mosque then'

priceless!

OP posts:

LRDtheFeministDragon · 20/12/2011 22:24

I don't agree at all merryscot. I don't see how you can believe that, as a Christian. The whole point of the NT is that Jesus accepted everyone, including people who got the snooty-glance treatment from supposedly holy types.

Besides which it is only sensible to try to find a church where the human side of things appeals to you, isn't it? There's some room for compromise but if you really don't get on with folk why stay when there are probably ten other churches in the same town you could like more?

MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 20/12/2011 22:25

I'm serious.

To a two year old it IS some adult droning on.

If you want to find God but Christianity is not for you try another religion.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 20/12/2011 22:27

You've just come here to Christian-bash.

amerryscot · 20/12/2011 22:27

Yes, Jesus accepted everyone - he offered eternal life. But they could not go on with their broken lives. They had to change.

Look at the Woman at the Well. He told her to sin no more. He didn't tall her to keep whoring, did he?

GrimmaTheNome · 20/12/2011 22:27

Grimma i am no longer searching for faith. today just reminded me why that is all

Yup. If it was true, His church would do a better job of bearing witness to the truth, wouldn't it. But its just the normal mixed bunch of humans.

amerryscot · 20/12/2011 22:27

Yep, my child.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 20/12/2011 22:31

Well, thank goodness Jesus has you to help tell people when they need to change eh, merryscot? Otherwise He might have mistakenly accepted the OP as she is, seeing as I doubt she's 'whoring herself' or anything else especially awful, just trying to take her toddler to a carol service.

MamaMary · 20/12/2011 22:31

That is sad if people were giving you dirty looks. Shame on them. If someone came to my church with a lively toddler, I would smile and try to make them feel welcome. YANBU.

amichrissima · 20/12/2011 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 20/12/2011 22:34

Mind you ... serious point boglach - a lot of churches, especially at this time of the year, are partly acting as a place to go for people with a lot of problems - maybe homeless people, or drug addicts, or very just very lonely or isolated people. Some of the people who didn't smile at you maybe were a bit weighed down by other things - I know I can stare right through someone if I'm preoccupied. It doesn't mean I'm deliberately being unwelcoming.

Cherriesarelovely · 20/12/2011 22:34

Ok so OP had a very unwelcoming time at a church and she is "coming on here to Christian bash"?! If someone came into my school and the reported to me or someone else that they had felt unwelcome or treated shoddily it would worry me greatly. I would not think "Oh they are just teacher bashing"! Why is it so hard for you to admit that the people in the church were being unkind and indeed unchristian in their attitude?

amerryscot · 20/12/2011 22:38

Or they just weren't being doormats?

Original poster

boglach · 20/12/2011 22:39

amerryscot but i thought jesus only accepted those that believe. the rest go to hell

OP posts:

Sirzy · 20/12/2011 22:40

A carol service isn't the best place to judge one church. Going to a normal service you get a much better feel for what it is like normally. Carol services at our church are 90% made up of people who won't set foot back in church until next years carol service.

Our church couldn't be more warm and friendly if you tried. Ds has spent many a sermon stood with the vicar!

Cherriesarelovely · 20/12/2011 22:41

What??? Giving dirty looks to a mother of a 2 year old in a carol service! Oh yes she was walking all over them wasn't she?

amerryscot · 20/12/2011 22:42

Have you heard of faith as small as a mustard seed, boglach?

Or how about when Jesus said, "I stand by the door and knock..."

MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 20/12/2011 22:42

Yes, if you'll read her posts she's used quite derogatory language.

It's a pile of tosh etc etc.

She didn't report it to the vicar, though, did she? She came here to mouth off on how all Christians are unfriendly and hypocrites.

Original poster

boglach · 20/12/2011 22:42

'being doormats'

i took my toddler to a school carol service!

OP posts:

Cherriesarelovely · 20/12/2011 22:43

sirzy I agree that at a Carol service there might be all kinds of people present, not necessarily those that normally attend the church but OP has said that she recognised the people and knows that they are regular church goers.

amerryscot · 20/12/2011 22:44

The OP needs to decide why she is offended and what she wanted from this church. And that will answer the aibu.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 20/12/2011 22:44

If a small child was walking up and down aisles, and shouting out, I don't think I'd be smiling lovingly at him/her whether I was in church or at the theatre.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 20/12/2011 22:44

Not everyone believes that literally in hell ...my vicar would say it's arrogant to think you can now who is truly good person and who isn't.

Btw ... if you can find a church that does a christingle service, that's often a sign they have lots of parents and children in teh congregation and will be more friendly.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 20/12/2011 22:45

Back to the topic:

YABU

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