to be absolutely spitting with rage at 'D'SD?

[Iloveagoodroast]

My SD is 10. I have a very difficult relationship with her. I have honestly tried my best with her, but i have reached the end of my tether, She is ignorant, sullen and downright rude to me 99% of the time. My DD is 5 and worships the ground she walks on, yet SD is less than interested in her at best, nasty to her at worst.
DH and i have been together 7 years, married for 6 months and her behaviour towards me has always been the same (kicked me in the stomach when i was pg with DD and saying, "I hope that hurt her" is one of many examples. She was only 4 or 5 then)
Anyway, we only see her on a Sunday. Yesterday morning, DD tells me that "SD gave me some medicine out of the cupboard yesterday".
I ask which medicine, DD said, "All of them." A spoonful each of Calpol, Nurofen, Piriton, 2 adults cough medicine, an adults cold and flu medicine, and gaviscon!!!
I asked why the hell she did it (DD said SD told her she was getting a cold, she isn't, she's fine). I asked where i was when this was happening, DD said upstairs with Daddy hoovering, which is the only time they were alone downstairs so v likely.
AIBU to be so bloody angry i feel like killing* SD?! She could have done DD some serious bloody damage!!
DH went round there yesterday when i rang to tell him what DD told me, he said he went mad at her, asked her what the hell she was playing at and she could have made DD very sick, He said she just shrugged!!!!

She is due to spend Xmas day here, i do not want her anywhere near me or DD at the moment, i know it will spoil the day as i am so angry with her?
AIBU?

*obviously i wouldn't really!

bossy thank you.

I've read through all of this and :

Yes a 10 yo can open child proof lids
Yes, a 10 yo knows it is wrong to give medicine to a child.I just asked my 9 yo the same question

What did her dad do when she just shrugged.

Ask her if she wants to come to you for Christmas.If she's so rude (and by the sounds of things she's been like this for 7 years!) she might wish to spend the day with her mother.And even if her mother's got plans then surely her daughter (Ie the SD) if priority for her.
If she does want to go to the OP for Christmas Day then she has to apologise and mean it.

An appointment with pyschologist/therapist won't happen for ages.
Why should the OP and her DD have to spend Christmas Day worrying what SD will do.

She sounds lost and confused. Of course she may be the antichrist but I think if she was deliberately trying to harm DD she would've just pushed her down the stairs or something.
Did DSD take any of the medicine herself btw?

OP: if you are having your SD in your house you need to make it safe for someone who cannot be trusted with anything dangerous.

That means that if you don't absolutely need something dangerous in the house, get rid of it. All the medicines to the chemists (for disposal), cleaning chemicals, big knives etc. under lock and key (with you keeping hold of the key 24.7) and ideally not in the house. You essentially have someone who until you know what's going on in their head cannot be trusted with such things, and its near impossible to stop a 10 year old getting their hands on such things if its accessible to an adult and you cannot risk a repeat of this incident.

You've been given several messages about A&E and counselling, but no-one seems to have mentioned that whilst keeping medicines in a high cupboard is absolutely fine if your children are basically uninterested and sensible, if you have someone with real problems then its dangerous. You weren't to know SD would do this, but don't let her do anything like this again, certainly not until she's had help.

Scurryfringe, you say "Any symptoms do not show for 24hours" - that just isn't true.

OH BTW OP, my DD (9 yo) managed to get a double dose of Calpol (they will only take the baby Calpol, 2x 5ml spoon)
IIRC she conned her dad and I into giving her a doseage without telling each other.

She had very itchy skin- I didn't realise until I checked the bottle for side effects.

A 10yr old child didn't kick her pregnant stepmum, a 5 yr old did.

So because of her parents situation a 10 yr old isn't allowed to feel like she fits in at her dads?

I aM a doctor. Please call your AE department and get proper advice NOW

Imperial I should have said "may not show" for 24 hours.

It's not that, MudAndGlitter. The stepdaughter is telling them in no uncertain terms she doesn't fit in there. Her parents (birth parents, not step) have to decide what to do now. I just hope her mother steps up.

OP, can I ask you whether your husband left his first wife for you? I'm not being judgemental, just trying to understand why your stepdaughter feels such resentment. And is her mother involved with anyone? Are there more children?

I cant belive a gp would advice to keep an eye on a child with a suspected mixture of drugs in their system. my dn possibly took some anti histamine tablets. no one was sure other than it would have been no more than 5, gp rang adviced strait to A&E, bloods taken none in his system.

Oh, in answer to your original post - not unreasonable to be angry. Not at all.

This has got to be rubbish. No doctor would take risks with a child's life like that. The doctor has absolutely no way of knowing how much paracetamol the child has been given. He/She would never act on the confession of a 10 year old. For all the doctor and step mother knows the SD could have given her several adult doses worth.

Agree with hidden

imperial no not at all. She left him for another man when SD was 6 months old. They have been split for 10 years, 3 years before DH and i met.

I'm going to ring nhs direct as the response from some of you regarding the GP's advice is worrying me

*hidden it is not rubbish! I rang the GP and have followed his advice. If the advice is wrong, i will find out know when i ring nhs direct

dont ring nhs direct take her to A&E and collect dsd enroute to have her see how disrupting her actions have been.

Well, if you did phone the gp and this is the advice that you were given, then the gp is rubbish Some gps are you know. I encounter gps that I wouldn't let loose on my cat!

The general public should know how dangerous paracetamol can be, this is why it's not sold in any great quantity now.

*i asked her what coolour such and such medicine was and what it tasted like, she described them correctly so i know she had them all. DD said she used the "medi spoon, the small bit," which i assume is either 5 or 2.5ml of each.

Your 5 year old daughter was able to accurately describe the taste of 7 different medicines, which she had only ever tasted once and that had been all at the same time? That is astonishing. I couldn't do that. In fact I would have trouble "describing" the taste of any medicines... I don't even remember what colour the cough medicine I give my children is...

What was the adult cold/flu remedy called?

Having read a further 4 pages of disgusting responses on here-I really feel sorry for the dcs that have some of you as stepparents-they have no fucking chance.

The dsd is not an "equal"-absolute shite. And she should be her "mothers priority"-no she should be the fecking priority of both parentss FFS.

Op-forgot to say in previous post-YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU to want to "kill" a 10 year old child.

OP, similar happened to my niece re medicines and sis asked me to phone nhs24 and they gave me the same advice as you received, so I have no problem believing that. Kicking you whilst pregnant, even though she was only 5, left me a little bit shocked, and clear that these problems have been ongoing for a while. She is now 10 and old enough to know how to behave. She has had plenty time to adjust to the changes in her life, if my son had done that I would be fucking livid at him, (and I would probably feel like killing him!) and tbh I would be seriously considering counselling. Her behaviour is only going to get worse if not addressed.

ok should have put not literally kill him!