To think that DH is going way over the top about Father Christmas

[kindling]

DH is loving the idea of reliving the magic of his childhood Christmas with DD (2.6) now that she is starting to understand and knows who Father Christmas is. This is how DH thinks Christmas Day should be: We get up when DD gets up (hopefully not too early - after 7am) and tell her that we should go to see if Father Christmas has been (mince pie crumbs, nibbled carrot etc). DD then gets to open her stocking and presents from Father Christmas. No presents from us as these are the ones from Father Christmas apparently. Any presents from family will be opened later that day when DD's grandparents are up (10-11). Apparently this is 'how it's done'.

DH says it's all about DD being excited that Father Christmas has been and what he has left her, and is adamant that the the best bits i.e. the instantly recognisable stuff that she will love (set of Peppa Pig stuff and a baby doll), should be 'from Father Christmas' i.e. and not from Granny and Grandpa (even though they have contributed some money for me to get her some bits that she will like).

Is this normal? It's all new to me as my family are not Christian and didn't make much of a fuss about Christmas/Father Christmas when I was younger (though we did have presents). I just assumed DD could have a few stocking bits early but that we would wait to all be together with family before opening the rest, including any 'Father Christmas presents', so that the grandparents can share the wonder / excitement / joy etc with her.

I also think that a stocking and one 'big' present is more than enough to come from Father christmas and find the idea of a mountain of stuff for a 2yo quite distasteful. I don't want to rain on DH's parade but I think that we're in danger of trying to whip DD up into a frenzy about presents and the importance of 'stuff' already and she is only 2 fgs !!

Now I've typed presents so many times I feel a bit ill.

So tell me, AIB bah humbug U or is DH?

Here only small presents that fit in the stocking are from Father Christmas. All other presents are from the person who paid for them.

There is another thread about this

YABU in my opinion - but that's probably because I'm making a huge over the top fuss over DS (2.1) this year. However, he will be told who presents are from, but Santa delivers them all if he's a good boy.

It does seem a shame though that GP's will miss out - do they not plan on getting up earlier to be a part of the excitement?

In my experience you don't need to do anything at all to get children excited about Christmas morning and, in some ways, the magical moment with parents and child and no one else, first thing in the morning, is the best bit.

I was heartbroken when my own DS1,now 15, crept into the darkened living room at his my in-laws on Christmas morning when he was about 2.5 years, full of a sense of wonder and awe...and my FIL came crashing in, turned the lights on full and started videoing everything. I could have cried.

Exactly the same as Angelswings

How will she ever appreciate that you and her Dad work hard to buy her things if everything you buy is from Santa?

Not only that, but what's to stop her asking for hugely expensive things in the future if she thinks it's all free?

Christmas always been a big deal for us even though dds are grown up and now we have our wonderful dgs Christmas will probably be even bigger. Everyone in our family loves it. Santa delivers all presents from family (family but pressies and send to Santa for him to deliver) one pressie will be from Santa. This year dd has decided that dgs will be left one pressie in stocking on his bed and a trail of magic glitter will lead to others downstairs. dgs was 3 last week (they live with us) I can't wait. Always me that's up first making noise to wake children up. I think it's lovely your dh wants to make it magical if gp want to share in it they should get up earlier. It's once a year and before you know it they don't believe.

I've always said I wish there was an actual law on this...one we could all follow and stick to because imagine how many arguments it must start between kids at school?

You need to decide together what your family traditions are going to be. Just because your family didn't make much fuss doesn't mean you don't get a say in how you would like Christmas to be for you all now.

In our house FC brings 5 small presents and the rest are bought by family and the DC know that.

The GP's don't sleep well so tend to sleep late due to medication, but they might be up for 9.30/10 as it's a special day. They dote on DD and I know they would want to see her as much as they can.

I agree that DD is very lucky to have a dad so excited about it.... What was bothering me was the idea of overwhelming DD with presents and stuff when it isn't necessary so young.

Thanks v much Angel, will look at that thread too.

Well Worra, having had this discussion with the dc, I have brought up the concept of FC 'raising an invoice'.

What with the increasing population and range of toys available, those elves are entirely overworked and probably totally exploited so for some children FC works in conjuction with the parents to organise Christmas.

This has my six year old convinced has raised some interesting ethical discussions, ie is the raising an invoice means tested.

How your DH does Christmas is how my Christmas mornings were as a child and how my DC now have Christmas too. I don't understand this thing some people have about the DC 'understanding' that the presents come from them not Santa. They understand the rest of the year that they can't have everything they want because life isn't like that and neither is Santa. Everyone has their own way of doing Christmas and if you're not particularly bothered about it, let you DH get excited about doing it the way he likes. Christmas is a time for family traditions.

Dis your 6yr old will probably grass him to the Inland Rev

My DH was brought up with all presents bought by parents being from Santa.
He wanted us to do the same.
I said no and put my foot down.
I think it sends the wrong message to DC and quite frankly makes me feel sick .
Santa brings the things that can fit in a stocking .

My dc get all the sweets from FC, and little 'pocket money toys' that the elves have made thank you Hawkins Bazaar in their stocking. Proper presents are from Mum/Dad/Brothers/Sister - we get each dc to chose something small for their siblings as soon as they are old enough - encourages them to really think about WHAT their siblings would enjoy, they wrap those presents themselves, with a bit of help, from age 3/4yo.

Why the heck should some fat geezer in a red suit take ALL the credit for stuff that I have saved bloody hard to buy?!

The dc enjoy all the little itty bits they get in their stocking, and they LOVE the fact that 99% of the sweets they get are from FC, because mean old Mummy doesn't let them have many sweets, so FC treats them to loads (to them) at Christmas. Chocolate coins, white and brown. Tube of sweets. Chocolate orange. Selection pack. 'Cadburys' Elf bar from the elves. Haribo Christmas sweets. Annual outside the stocking, always from FC. And a few little penny toys in there. Oh - and an apple and an orange, can't forget them!

All the 'proper' toys are from me or family.

yanbu

I like Angelswings theory that if it fits into a stocking then it's from Father Cristmas.

I'm not sure about the Christian thing? Unless you mean a broad western culture? The few families I've know where everything come from Santa have not been church going Christian families. I say this as someone who is not church going,or christian.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to do SANTA. My dp comes from a family where Santa delivers everything. I've not know many who do it that way but family dynamics seem to facilitate it. Historically there's a small family who all meet together on Christmas day. I have a very large extended family, Christmas gatherings were always held over many days. Stories about Santa delivering to others to give to you, or Santa just being a delivery boy would have made less sense than star signs.

I think the 'all presents from Santa' thing probably stemmed from back in the day when children really only got one gift and some fruit if they were lucky.

Now we tend to go OTT and buy them so much, they should know that they're from other people...apart from one or two from Santa.

your DH sounds exactly like me and you sound like my DH haha (hes also a little bah humbug-ey)

i LOVE the idea of christmas! the traditions are something that i took from my parents (my dad is the biggest christmas fiend and always woke me and my siblings up at about 6AM as he was far too excited to wait until we had woken up ourselves haha) DH was raised similarly but cant stand the frivolity of it all(scrooge) i get all gooey just thinking of how my DD will look opening her presents and i know i worked hard and paid for the presents blah blah blah but she is a child and there are only a small number of years where the magic and bribery works wonders on a child...my DD is 5 and has precious little time before she doesnt believe and i want to make christmas a magical time that she can carry on when she has children etc

if it isnt a big deal for you, let your DH have his fun. teaching a child about santa is magic and will not teach her all things come for free (children have no concept of cash value at 2 anywho so what difference would it make really?)

No way I give the bloke in the red suit credit for providing miraculously the stuff I have gone without for in order that my kids have things they would really like! Stupid idea, and wahts worse is the lies we tell our kids about it!
The stocking is from FC the rest is from me/who ever bought it - the bits on the side, nibbled carrots etc are fine - though they stopped here when Ds was 4 and had a full on panic about some bloke going in the house whilst we were asleep!!!!

Like most on this thread, if it fits in the stocking (with the exception of a book) it is from FC.

He is not having the credit for (big) stuff I have bought.
I don't want DC to think they can ask FC for whatever they want as it is 'free'
PLus thats how it was done in my house.
My Mum has a rough guide, something to eat, something to do, something to make/colour, something to read, and something random just because you can.
(this year dc have slipper socks, choco coins, a book, 3d lenticular postcard, colouring book, shrinkles keyring to make, and a racing snail )

No sorry, it's all from FC !!! It's not for very long unfortunately, but for me it's all about the magic.

I'm trying to remember how my parents did it. I think it was a case of Father Christmas delivering everything but only a few presents were actually from him - the rest we knew were from family etc.

Expecting our first DC in April so we don't have to worry about this conundrum for a while yet :)

I think you are being a little bit bah humbug about the way of doing things and trying to stop your DH doing things his way. However, I do agree that a 2 yr old will be overwhelmed with too many presents and will get bored of opening them after about 3 or 4. I hope your DH is prepared for DD not getting through the pile. You may find that there are still some left by the time the grandparents get there anyway if he lets her go at her own pace.

When I was a child every thing my parents got us was from FC. It never occurred to me to wonder why my parents didn't get me anything.

We started off doing that with our DC but about 3 yrs ago they wanted a playstation but we would only buy second hand. Of course FC doesn't do second hand stuff (well I don't think so!) so it had to be from us and now we have to get them something as we did that year! It doesn't add to the budget it just gets split.

I don't really care whether I get the credit for buying the presents or not though. I don't do it to get thanked. It is just nice to see the DC's faces when they get something they have hoped for. And ime, children don't delve too much into why some children get more than others, or why they can't have loads of expensive stuff. They just tend to be happy that FC has been to visit them and they have something. One day they will know the truth about it and in the meantime I just want us all to enjoy it.

We always got small stuff (tho prob not to my parents!) from FC. Walnuts - yuk - satsumas, colouring books, warm woollen mittens (really). Toe socks as we hit the 70's.

Once we realised that FC wasn't real we started doing stockings for the parents; golf balls, tights; Bromley Lemon soaps which just about overwhelmed the whiff of green furry oranges wafting out from under our beds. Aye, times were good.

Am a bit at people not wanting FC to "take the credit" for what they've bought...I didn't think it was about you as the giver feeling all great about what you have given!

Fwiw I do what my parents did:
-stockings, just little bits and pieces, are from Santa
-ONE gift, at fireplace, is from Santa, this is the "big" gift, the one you've asked for (within reason). As kids we came to understand over time that Santa present=the big present from mum and dad, and as I got older there would be negotiations, eg if you want that ghetto blaster from "Santa" that's fine but there will be cutbacks in other areas! Or, your granny is putting her £20 Xmas money towards your Santa present, that type of thing

• then we got a pillowcase or gift sack which was from mum and dad- things like a new jumper, a book, an album etc

I really think the main pressie should be from Santa or else what makes it any different to a birthday?!

She's 2 - I'd just let DH do it his way this year :)

Then, when this years frenzy is over, talk to him about future years and agree on what you think is right.

There are about as many ways to do it as there are posters

My way... Santa fills the stockings (orange in the toe, coins (chocolate ones when they are very small), sweets, few very inexpensive bits & pieces (bubbles/stickers etc) and leaves one present on the bottom of the bed which they are allowed to open and play with until a decent time (6am ish) (she's too young this year of course, but it's good for the next few years!!). Then the other presents are opened (everyone still in their PJ's) some are from Santa and some are from Mummy & Daddy. Anything from anyone else is from them, Santa does not get the credit for presents from friends and family.

But as I said, let DH have it his way this year (with the presents from you, not from grandparents, you need to ask them how they feel) :)