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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DH is going way over the top about Father Christmas

114 replies

kindling · 20/12/2011 00:05

DH is loving the idea of reliving the magic of his childhood Christmas with DD (2.6) now that she is starting to understand and knows who Father Christmas is. This is how DH thinks Christmas Day should be: We get up when DD gets up (hopefully not too early - after 7am) and tell her that we should go to see if Father Christmas has been (mince pie crumbs, nibbled carrot etc). DD then gets to open her stocking and presents from Father Christmas. No presents from us as these are the ones from Father Christmas apparently. Any presents from family will be opened later that day when DD's grandparents are up (10-11). Apparently this is 'how it's done'.

DH says it's all about DD being excited that Father Christmas has been and what he has left her, and is adamant that the the best bits i.e. the instantly recognisable stuff that she will love (set of Peppa Pig stuff and a baby doll), should be 'from Father Christmas' i.e. and not from Granny and Grandpa (even though they have contributed some money for me to get her some bits that she will like).

Is this normal? It's all new to me as my family are not Christian and didn't make much of a fuss about Christmas/Father Christmas when I was younger (though we did have presents). I just assumed DD could have a few stocking bits early but that we would wait to all be together with family before opening the rest, including any 'Father Christmas presents', so that the grandparents can share the wonder / excitement / joy etc with her.

I also think that a stocking and one 'big' present is more than enough to come from Father christmas and find the idea of a mountain of stuff for a 2yo quite distasteful. I don't want to rain on DH's parade but I think that we're in danger of trying to whip DD up into a frenzy about presents and the importance of 'stuff' already and she is only 2 fgs !!

Now I've typed presents so many times I feel a bit ill.

So tell me, AIB bah humbug U or is DH?

OP posts:
NunTheWiser · 20/12/2011 04:23

In our house, Santa brings the stocking with lots of lovely little gifts and sweets and the main present comes from DH and I. We tell the DC that we have agreed with Santa that, as there are so many children in the world who aren't as lucky as they are, we would get the big present so that Santa could give a child from a much poorer family something special too. They still get the magic of Santa and an appreciation of how fortunate they are.

ZonkedOut · 20/12/2011 06:44

My DD1 is the same age as OP's, but doesn't want FC to come at all. She saw him in a grotto a couple if weeks ago and burst into tears. Last week, he visited.her nursery and she wouldn't go up to him!

Having said that, she is still going to get a stocking from him. Larger, wrapped presents will be from the giver though.

I'm still not sure whether to have the stocking in her room or in the lounge. We had ours downstairs when growing up. My Mum used to do it that way because when she was little, her brother had woken up when "FC" came in, and it had spoilt it for him too early.

SilentNotViolentNight · 20/12/2011 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hollyfoot · 20/12/2011 06:57

In our house growing up, my pillowcase was from Father Christmas, there was nothing from parents because FC brought them all. Everything anyone else chose was from that person. Did exactly the same with DD.

I love the excitement of Christmas so am with your DH here (apart from excessive presentry!).

weevilswobble · 20/12/2011 07:00

Why do parents want credit from their kids? Geeeez.
In the morning, whats at the end of your bed is from Santa (when kids are old enough they realise Santa is you, when they believe in Santa and are still young they are at an age where they shouldnt have to understand the price of things)
Then after lunch at Grandmas house we all exchange pressies from each other.
@worraliberty: A law? Are you utterly demented?

Loopymumsy · 20/12/2011 07:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhThisIsJustGrape · 20/12/2011 07:09

FC brings all the presents that DH and I have bought, presents from other family members are from them.

It's how it was done when I was a child so it's natural for me to do it with my children. They usually get one main present then a pillowcase of other presents. They know that DH and I pay for the presents but FC chooses, wraps and delivers them.

I wish my DH was like yours OP, as it is he takes no interest whatsoever in what I've chosen for the children, except to complain that I've spent too much. I mentioned last night that I'd bought DS1 a new dressing gown and got told that 'it's not compulsory to buy crap at Christmas you know' :( I wish he'd piss off at Christmas and let me and the children enjoy it alone, think yourself lucky OP and join in the excitement for your DH and DD's sakes :)

OhThisIsJustGrape · 20/12/2011 07:10

Oh, and only FC presents are opened in the morning. Ones from family are opened after lunch.

Tinkerisdead · 20/12/2011 07:13

In our house the stocking is from santa and your big present. Everything else is bought by mum, geandparents etc but santa brings it. We all send him the presents and santa brings them if you have been good.

Caz10 · 20/12/2011 07:22

Oh yes, if auntie so and so sends a pressie it is from her, not from Santa! But i still think Santa should bring something more than a stocking!

Caz10 · 20/12/2011 07:24

OP can it not be from Santa till she stops believing?! At that point she will be getting old enough to understand how much things cost etc.

troisgarcons · 20/12/2011 07:25

Every family has it's own traditions.

Santa brings everything in this house with the exception of friends/relatives because thank you letters have to be written.

dappleton · 20/12/2011 07:25

Christmas is only magical for a few years, your husbands plans sound wonderful and so exciting for your DD! If you have no firm traditions for Christmas (I think every household does things a bit differently)then let him use his and enjoy the day!

actiongirl1978 · 20/12/2011 07:27

We both had the same system growing up... FC brings your stocking and main presents and leaves them next to the fireplace. Only us and DCs open these together. GPs are welcome to join us after we have shared this special time with our own children. My parents have a kettle in the guest room to have a cuppa while this goes on!

Then when my parents get back from Church, they give their gifts to the children and then any other gifts are opened from friends etc.

Most years this has begun about 8am. Currently dd3.9 and ds1.10 are waking at 5.30am so it could be a really long day!

I can't fathom why you would want to make a big deal to a 4yr old about paying for things. They know this from being in the shops and being told they can't have everything they ask for. Christmas is about suspending disbelief and magic. Give them a childhood.

exoticfruits · 20/12/2011 07:36

If you have no firm traditions you don't want to get stuck with ones that you don't like. A stocking is quite magical.

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 20/12/2011 07:45

I also think that a stocking and one 'big' present is more than enough to come from Father christmas

I agree. Probably because that's what we do :o

I think it's quite mean to take grandparent pressies and make them 'from FC' - I know the purpose of giving gifts is not seeing them being opened, but why would you deliberately take that away from them if you didn't have to? Of course grandparents should be able to see their darling grandchild open something lovely that they have contributed to. Especially as they will be there later that day.

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 20/12/2011 07:50

I agree exoticfruits - in our house the stocking-opening takes aaaaages and is very much cherished!

DCs' stocking is full of lovely little things, as I dislike most party bag/stocking filler type tat, and as we don't have endless cash I prefer to spend it on useful stuff IYSWIM, ie I would've got it anyway. For example they still remembered that their toothbrushes were from FC.

exoticfruits · 20/12/2011 07:57

Agreed-if you have masses they just rush to open it without taking much notice of what it is!

RedHelenB · 20/12/2011 08:08

What's the point of Father Christmas if he doesn't bring the most wanted gifts? My dds now don't believe & know what things cost - ironically I have spent more on them than ds!!

iscream · 20/12/2011 08:12

We did similar, except we opened all the gifts from between the 4 of us in the morning,as well as Santa, then opened the ones from relatives/friends and so on later on when we were with them.

diddl · 20/12/2011 08:14

All the presents from us were always from Father Christmas-I always thought that was how it was done.

My friends never got Christmas presents from their parents-always from FC-and the same for my children´s friends.

pooka · 20/12/2011 08:18

Stocking and one present from father Christmas. All the rest are from us/family. Stocking and that father Christmas present can be opened ASAP. The rest gets opened later on, maybe at 10 ish or so.

snuffaluffagus · 20/12/2011 08:24

Well everyone seems to do it differently but we do small stocking presents from father Christmas and everything else from whoever bought it, so you get the magic but still know who bought what. You don't lose any of the 'magic' by doing it that way.

mrswoodentop · 20/12/2011 08:26

We are fairly similar to your dh.Stockings have smaller presents in ,book,soap,socks,satsuma etc plus one larger present from FC ,when they were younger this tended to be the thing they had
had asked for ,now it depends on what we think would be best in morning as opposed to pm.eg lego good for morning because it occupies xmas morning!!

before lunch they usually have presents from PIL who arrive then and after lunch (around 4pm)everything else including their main present from us ,sometimes this has been something between the three of them.

MorelliOrRanger · 20/12/2011 08:32

DD is 4 and the last 2 years she's asked for something for FC and that is what he brings her (assuming it's not a racing car or a rocket or something completely ott.

Last year she asked for a pink guitar (she got that plus some accessories) from FC. This year she has asked for a pink CD player which FC will bring her along with a CD and some books with CD's in.

All other presents are under the tree and come from whoever has bought them.

However I can't decide whether you ABU or not as it sounds to me like your hubby is just excited about it which is nice.