To think that DH is going way over the top about Father Christmas

[kindling]

DH is loving the idea of reliving the magic of his childhood Christmas with DD (2.6) now that she is starting to understand and knows who Father Christmas is. This is how DH thinks Christmas Day should be: We get up when DD gets up (hopefully not too early - after 7am) and tell her that we should go to see if Father Christmas has been (mince pie crumbs, nibbled carrot etc). DD then gets to open her stocking and presents from Father Christmas. No presents from us as these are the ones from Father Christmas apparently. Any presents from family will be opened later that day when DD's grandparents are up (10-11). Apparently this is 'how it's done'.

DH says it's all about DD being excited that Father Christmas has been and what he has left her, and is adamant that the the best bits i.e. the instantly recognisable stuff that she will love (set of Peppa Pig stuff and a baby doll), should be 'from Father Christmas' i.e. and not from Granny and Grandpa (even though they have contributed some money for me to get her some bits that she will like).

Is this normal? It's all new to me as my family are not Christian and didn't make much of a fuss about Christmas/Father Christmas when I was younger (though we did have presents). I just assumed DD could have a few stocking bits early but that we would wait to all be together with family before opening the rest, including any 'Father Christmas presents', so that the grandparents can share the wonder / excitement / joy etc with her.

I also think that a stocking and one 'big' present is more than enough to come from Father christmas and find the idea of a mountain of stuff for a 2yo quite distasteful. I don't want to rain on DH's parade but I think that we're in danger of trying to whip DD up into a frenzy about presents and the importance of 'stuff' already and she is only 2 fgs !!

Now I've typed presents so many times I feel a bit ill.

So tell me, AIB bah humbug U or is DH?

I'd be really annoyed if he dh told me 'this is how it is done' about anything, but perhaps especially about Christmas. I come from quite a religious family and Father Christmas was never part of our tradition. Christmas was still a very special time for me, and I really wouldn't have liked it at all if dh had insisted on lots of Santa stuff because it feels very alien to me.

We did have Christmas at his sister's house one year, and whilst they were excellent hosts I was very very upset when all the cousins got up early and ripped into the presents under the tree. Coming from a family that opened presents in a slow afternoon ritual with much thanking and hugging going on I found it quite horrible. On the other hand I know that my brother's partner who joined the family with two children of her own found it very very difficult to do it our way. So I think developing your own family traditions is really important. It probably doesn't really matter what you do so long as it works for you and brings your family happiness.

I've got into a bit of a mess with the whole FC thing and DS. When DD was born we did that FC would bring one big present and a stocking, as had been done when I was a child. DD very accepting of everything told and we drifted along comfortably until she stopped believing .

DS is very different. He's 8 now and doesn't really believe but isn't quite sure. We've had why don't we get him presents, they get a small one on Christmas Eve now. And why can't FC bring some £300 Lego thing. So I told him that there is a parental contribution, that in November I ring the elf helpline and pay towards his present with my debit card, that FC doesn't make everything, that stems back to when children has wooden toys, these days he makes the wooden toys but had deals with the manufacturers for the rest. He caught name off guard one day and before I knew it, this tumbled out of my mouth.

It obviously wasn't convincing as he went straight off to interrogate his sister. She however takes her job of keeping FC alive in the imaginations of younger children very seriously and goodness knows what she told him, I haven't dared ask. So next year we'll be having the chat about him being real in children's minds and it being his job to keep this going and we'll be at the end of an era in the Wynken household after 13 years.

Everything we buy comes from FC apart from one small present from us which my DS gets to open on Xmas eve after tea, its always pyjamas and a DVD. This means that DC has new pyjamas for the photos on Xmas morning and he and my husband watch the DVD after tea giving me time to sort stuff out. Presents from grandparents etc. are exchanged when we see them, so this year it'll be on boxing day and that way they can enjoy watching DS open them.

One thing I did with my kids when little is get them to bu a present for children less fortunate than themselves. Lots of Churches have a service where you can take a present, or our local Radio station has a toy appeal. Its nice to make them realise that not everyone has what they have.
Also get the kids to make/give presents to other people, an thank people who buy them presents. My kids were lovely and when they got somethig they really wanted in their stocking (could be a book or a nice set of gloves) they would burst as to who to thank. I think we have written Santa thank you letters in the past.

"Webwiz I simply don't believe that your 3 children never encountered other families where parents bought the presents rather than FC"

Mine never did, & for that matter, neither did I!

In the Sock household FC brings a stocking of small gifts such as a book, colouring stuff, little bits and sweets like a chocolate Santa and some coins. These are left in the living room near the tree. (DS is being assessed for ASD, has lots of traits and worries and one of them is a stranger in his bedroom.... in earlier years FC wasn't even allowed in the house, I had to 'meet' him on the lawn as I came in from Midnight Mass!) This year DS has asked to leave out some stuff foe FC and the reindeer.

All other presents are from us and other relatives. We open FC's presents as soon as we get up and then other presents are opened throughout the day. DS will want to get them all open as soon as possible!
We do things this way as we know he will request more and more expensive things as he gets older and we want to be able to say that it is too much money for us etc.
So far he hasn't asked why his friends get more expensive things from FC and why FC leaves different things for different people but we have a plan to say that FC consults parents as to what they want to do and that very large presents need to be paid for by parents.

birdsofshoreandsea - agree with Webwiz and diddl. Obviously by the time I was 9 everyone at school knew the truth about FC but in my experience most younger kids believe.

Never mind my kids - I haven't encountered parents buying the presents rather than FC before MN!

I've obviously avoided some sort of minefield that I didn't know existed. Because DH and I had similar Christmas traditions all the GPs were happy to do it the same way. The DCs still love the pretence of it all and we still put sherry and mince pies out with a carrot for Rudolph. No one has grown up horribly materialistic and no one is scarred by eventually working out that FC isn't real.

My stepsons have all the presents already there (with four children she thinks it's easier not to try and hide the presents lol) and FC brings a stocking (because there's not a lot of room on the sleigh) but my children have everything being delivered by FC unless it's from someone who wants to give them their presents themselves.

I have met a range of ideas of how FC brings the presents. Most of the people I know do the magical mailman.

Father Christmas brings everything except family presents, like others have said, what is the point if not. Oh and mine jump into their pile of presents and go for it, nothing wrong with that either, it's Christmas, it's for them not you.

I think if gps or anybody else have given presents or money then children should know who they're from.