to not want my smoker relative near the baby?

[dobeessneeze]

We're going to stay with my parents from Christmas until New Year. My aunt, who smokes, will be there for most of the day on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and probably another couple of times over the course of the week. She never smokes in the house, but will probably pop outside 5 or 6 times during the day. This will be our PFB's first Christmas, we don't see my side of the family very often as they live quite far away and DD is the first grandchild, so the excitement levels are already off the scale.

Should we:

1. Ask her to follow the guidelines for smoking around babies with regard to hand-washing after smoking, not holding the baby in clothes that she has smoked in, not breathing on baby within so many minutes of having a cigarette etc.
2. Not say anything but try and manage the situation to keep the baby away from her after she's had a cigarette.
3. Not be so damn PFB about it and accept that any toxins are probably in such small amounts that it's not worth risking offending her (and she WOULD be offended, and quite possibly make a scene).
4. Something else.

Never had to deal with this before, so will be guided by the wisdom of the MN jury...

I avoid bossy family members twats when I visit relatives and issue all who attend a numbered what not to do list.
If it offends them it's their problem not mine.
There will be someone along shortly to pamper to your need to put smokers in a corner and castigate them.

YABU.

1. And or 3.

We couldn't figure out why on some days my DD would come home from nursery with red eyes, everyone told me she was just tired, I took to the GP (DD has other medical issues) who asked what pollutants or perfume she might be being exposed to. I should add we are non smokers, DD is not exposed to much secondhand smoke and she started nursery at six months.

Asked around at nursery, staff members were really helpful and we started to keep a note of which key worker she had etc. We worked out it was one particular key worker who was a heavy smoker, she washed her hands, wore a coat etc but it still affected DD, the situation was resolved as she fell pg and gave up the fags, had it continued I would have asked for DD to have a different member of staff as it made her eyes very very sore.

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